Thread: If Bellydancers Were Like Snuggies...

After the third thread about undercutters in one day, I thought we might like to have some fun at their expense.

Pretend you're Suzy Nippletassels and you bought some ad space on cable TV at 3 a.m. What would your infomercial sound like?

I'll go first:

(Clip plays of Jillina leading the Bellydance Superstars in a super slick choreography)

Narrator: (in hushed "disclaimer" tone) "Results not typical. Actual results may vary."

But wait, there's more! Give me your best slogans - if I get enough contributions, I'll put 'em all in an article on my website!

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Pretend you're Suzy Nippletassels and you bought some ad space on cable TV at 3 a.m. What would your infomercial sound like?

This product should not be used by individuals with refined artistic tastes. Studies have reported adverse reactions in persons of Middle Eastern descent and frequent travelers to that part of the world. Common side effects include headache, nausea, and irritability. To avoid long-term injury, stop taking this product and call your doctor if you experience an erection lasting four hours or more.

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

This product should not be used by individuals with refined artistic tastes. Studies have reported adverse reactions in persons of Middle Eastern descent and frequent travelers to that part of the world. Common side effects include headache, nausea, and irritability. To avoid long-term injury, stop taking this product and call your doctor if you experience an erection lasting four hours or more.

LMAO.

Camera cuts to Suzy Nippletassels in a self-made crassel outfit, wearing garish makeup and doing Jazzercise moves interspersed with wiggling:

"May cause erectile dysfunction."

I'm so bad.

"Three easy payments of $9.99!"

Shimmy (Sham) WOW!!!

Alrana

May cause anal seepage/leakage.
(cut to nippletassler wrapping skeezy dude in a polyester veil while wearing a chain-mail bikini thingy in a blacklit party bar)
Now in convenient party packs!

(cut to an ivy covered brick building. next clip a traditionally furnished home or office. Suzy NippleT is gyrating in front of the TV while talking on the phone or filing nails...)
Study from the comfort of your own home. Be a professional dancer in 3 easy steps. Just order this simple program and wiggle your way to success without ever having to lift a finger. No talent? No musicality? No stamina? No Problem! The Suzy NippleTassle School of Home Belly Dance will have you shaking your groove thing like a professional dancer in no time. Earn extra money at bars, nightclubs, and bachelor parties!!!!

(cut to a sexy toned blond in a Frederick's of Hollywood Harem costume)
"The SNT program helped me tone up and lose 300 pounds in just one month! I was finally able to get back at my ex! Thanks Suzie Nipple Tassels!"