Thread: Client Requests In-Person Meeting Pre-Gig: WWBD?

I've been exchanging e-mails with a guy who is putting together a corporate event for October. He's potentially interested in bringing me in for a workshop and show, and seems pretty legit, for our intents and purposes.

This guy asked me if I could come to his office and meet up with him next week, though, which kind of made my stomach lurch. My reservations are not concerning him or his nature, but about pre-gig meetings in general.

I had a terrible experience last year where a prospective client showed up to one of my classes totally unannounced, saw me in my sports bra, leggings, hip scarf and fresh face, and "fired" me for not looking exotic enough. Thus, the idea of letting prospects see me out of costume still doesn't sit well with me. While the majority of consumers are hip to the fact that it takes time, makeup and costuming to get gorgeous, there's always that "minus one."

So WWBD? Meet up with this guy? Set up some phone time instead? Show up at his office riding a noble silver unicorn, and knight him with your magic wand? Help!

Show up at his office - wearing glamorous street clothes, make-up, costume jewelry, sexy shoes. His mind should be able to make the leap to belly dancer easily enough. Very different from that other situation with the sports bra and leggings.
Rosette

Originally Posted by Rosette

Show up at his office - wearing glamorous street clothes, make-up, costume jewelry, sexy shoes. His mind should be able to make the leap to belly dancer easily enough. Very different from that other situation with the sports bra and leggings.
Rosette

Yeah, and at least this guy briefed me that he wants to meet in person, unlike the lady last year who just showed up cold at my class. She could have at least given me a heads-up so I could have worn my cuter practice garb and a bit of makeup that night. And she just popped in and sat there, watching while I taught class. VERY bizarre. And rude.

I've had a couple of corporate clients request this. Because the meetings were at their offices, I opted for business-like clothes, but balanced it out by going more glam with my makeup, jewelry, hair and shoes.

If it's a big enough gig, I have no problem meeting beforehand. Like others said, nice clothes, hair, makeup, etc. Nobody expects you to parade around the streets in full bellydancer getup, but in my experience people DO want to make sure you clean up okay and your pics are true to age/weight/whatever they're looking for.

Pre-gig meetings are also a great time to show how organized and businesslike *you* can be - depending on what he wants to get out of the meeting, it might not be a bad idea to bring a folder full of promo photos, business cards, descriptions of your services and a price list, etc.

(Some of my most embarrassing random meetings involve people recognizing me as a dancer while I'm at my day job. I'm a biology grad student, so you can imagine that my daily lab wear is about a million miles from the glammed up belly dancer they saw perform).

yeah, get glammed up and ride the unicorn into his office. the in person meeting request is pretty common for big corporate events and nervous brides. maybe bring small portfolio of hawt studio shots to avoid a "leggings incident"?

I agree with the above. Take the meeting and dress professionally. By professionally I don't mean a boxy suit and hair up in a tight bun--wear a nice skirt, heels and top that shows off your figure but doesn't scream TRAMP. Make sure your make up is fresh and done up a bit more than you *normally*... again, not trampy but polished.

You should be fine. I agree with Lilya that this is an opportunity to show your professional side. He's bringing you to his office, so while he may be expecting a "belly dancer" (and whatever that implies), I'm sure he also doesn't want to be embarrassed.

When in doubt, look moneyed... that's what I always say!

Thanks for the advice, guys!

Hey, I guess it's a GOOD thing that somebody out there is actually screening for professionalism. If I were in charge of booking entertainment for a big corporate event, I'd want to make sure the "talent" wouldn't make my company look bad or, worse, give my boss a lap dance!

I never do this. JMO, but the goal of pre-gig intereactions is to determine a mutually agreeable fee, understand the client's vision, and to *Close The Deal*

Why take time out of your non-gig schedule just so that some stranger who hasn't even committed to a booking can check you out? Aside from which, clients should always think you are busy and in demand, not that you hang around idle and unwanted. Clients are clients, not personal friends.

Yes, it's nice to breeze in all pretty and get some compliments, and at ones-self on the back afterward about going the extra mile. But seriously, not meeting beforehand is not a significant dealbreaker.

I tell clients (nicely) that the only time I ever meet someone before a gig is to pick up a deposit check. If there is a check involved I will go, otherwise nope. This policy is also on my website.

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Thanks for the advice, guys!

I'd want to make sure the "talent" wouldn't make my company look bad or, worse, give my boss a lap dance!

How would you know that from making the dancer some over beforehand? She might still go nuts when the party is hopping, lol.

Also an inperson meeting won't tell you if she can DANCE, that is what a professional website with videoclips is for. In terms of telling if the dancer has a vulgar or crass personality, usually a phonecall conversation is adequate for assessment.

Act like a star! tell the guy you are too busy being fabulous, but he is welcome to look at your promo materials, website, and so forth. Or, act like a businesswoman and leverage the request as a way to Close The Deal.
Clients will waste all you time if you let them, not on purpose but still.

Originally Posted by lotus

I never do this. JMO, but the goal of pre-gig intereactions is to determine a mutually agreeable fee, understand the client's vision, and to *Close The Deal*

Why take time out of your non-gig schedule just so that some stranger who hasn't even committed to a booking can check you out? Aside from which, clients should always think you are busy and in demand, not that you hang around idle and unwanted.

I tell clients (nicely) that the only time I ever meet someone before a gig is to pick up a deposit check. If there is a check involved I will go, otherwise nope. This policy is also on my website.

I have to admit, this was my initial line of thinking, which is why I solicited the wisdom of Bhuz.

Has anyone severely bitched or balked over you not doing pre-gig meetings? If so, how do you handle it? Also, is your website the zari.tv listed in your signature? I'd like to see how you phrase your feelings on pre-gig meetups.

As always, I appreciate advice from ALL sides of the fence!

no, I've never been bitched about it. I just explain nicely that I get a lot of calls, and that if I went driving all over the bay area to meet each person at their place of convenience, I'd never get anything else done. People understand that.

Sometimes people push a bit, but clients ask for all kinds of things, you know. they also call asking me to dance for 2 hours straight, and that is another situation in which I reframe the request, and explain why that is not reasonable.


here's a clip from my FAQ section. I am glad you asked! because when I went to retrieve it, I foudn that my site is currently down. arrgh...
---------------------


Can I meet you beforehand?
Zari is happy to work out all necessary details by phone or email. However, due to an extremely busy schedule, in-person meetings prior to the event are not possible.

What about out of town and international shows?
Zari lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. Shows outside of Northern California will need to be booked well in advance. Click here to request the international performance contract.

Can I get a sample DVD?
Performance DVD's are available for agents and overseas venues considering entering into a performance contract.

Performances at restaurants and nightclubs
A discounted rate is available for venues that have dancing on a regular basis. Please call 510-938-9097 for an information packet and pricing details.

Originally Posted by lotus

How would you know that from making the dancer some over beforehand? She might still go nuts when the party is hopping, lol.

Also an inperson meeting won't tell you if she can DANCE, that is what a professional website with videoclips is for. In terms of telling if the dancer has a vulgar or crass personality, usually a phonecall conversation is adequate for assessment.

Act like a star! tell the guy you are too busy being fabulous, but he is welcome to look at your promo materials, website, and so forth. Or, act like a businesswoman and leverage the request as a way to Close The Deal.
Clients will waste all you time if you let them, not on purpose but still.

Again....ALL points I considered while posting this ..g.:

If all of your promo materials are in one spot (mine are) and if all of your pictures are current (none of mine are older than from last summer) and your credentials speak for themselves, I don't really understand why a meeting would be necessary, either.

I'm all for minimizing interactions with micromanaging clients. If I go out and meet this guy, I'd hope he's not calling like 20 dancers in after me to size them all up, too!

you can also mention to clients that safety is a factor. People are generally understanding when I point out that it's not a swell idea to be running off to meet any yobbo who happens to see my website on google. (Versus a booked gig which always has a paper trail since I only take credit cards or corporate checks.)

All good points Zari. Hmmm... I'll have to rethink my position on this. I've only once been asked for a pre-gig meeting--it was by a bride and she came to my house. But we didn't discuss anything that couldn't have been handled over the phone.

Maybe you could offer some references for him to call if he feels the need to check up on you?

Originally Posted by lotus

you can also mention to clients that safety is a factor. People are generally understanding when I point out that it's not a swell idea to be running off to meet any yobbo who happens to see my website on google. (Versus a booked gig which always has a paper trail since I only take credit cards or corporate checks.)

I know, that bothers me, too. Hopefully everyone who does accept in-person meetings either does it at the person's office (as in, a legit corporate building, NOT their "home office") or in a neutral spot like a Starbucks.

Zari, I can't seem to get your website to come up for some reason. Do you remember how you phrased your "disclaimer" about not doing in-person meetings? I really would like to see how you worded it on your website.

I've no personal experience but my first instructor would talk to me some about things like this when I was a baby-belly.

Like Lotus, she'd only meet them at schedule times & public places to pick up the deposit & would wear something cute & have her hair fixed, etc. but could never stay to chit-chat she always told them she was on her way to an appt. or event, but thanked them & said See you on X night (their gig) & away she'd drive.

If a potential client pushed to meet her, she always politely said her schedule was fairly full w/other gigs, teaching, being fabulous, taking her unicorn to the groomer, or whatever, but would probe further asking if there was a concern & that's why they wanted to meet, etc. Basically try to find out why they wanted to meet & could usually alleviate any concerns over the phone.

hmm, i read your original post quickly and assumed you already had the gig and this was a planning meeting. so let me revise what i said. suggest only having a pre-meeting if its a big enough gig. def not for every birthday party, etc. and of course only in a regular place of business.

zari, i like the above. well said

I usually do pre-gig meetings with people. Typically at my favorite coffee shop over a nice cup of tea. We discuss all the fine print in my contract and then sign it and I get my deposit. It ensures that there is no potential for misunderstandings and I get a feel for them, which I like. I like being able to close the deal over a cup of tea and a handshake. For big gigs I try to meet with them at the venue so that I can see it in advance and not walk into surprises if at all possible.

I usually dress "belly dancer chic". That typcially means my nice jeans, a cute top, and some ethnic jewelry. A touch of dance in my every day gear. I usually leave my hair down so they can see that its long and I wear makeup...I don't normally wear makeup at all except for gigs. I do an every day version of my performance makeup. Nothing that looks out of place for day time, but enough to give me a slightly exotic whimsical thing going on.

I've never done a pre-gig meeting with someone who hadn't yet said "let's sign the contract". But I have invited potential clients to come and see me perform live at a public gig when it was possible. That has actually worked out really well because they were able to see me interact with the crowd in a way that a video can't really get across. So it hasn't bitten me on the ass yet that I'm aware of.

I'm with Sabrina on this - I misread and assumed you had already booked the gig. I wouldn't bother to meet with someone who hasn't already signed a contract and paid a deposit (unless for some reason I had to meet them in person to get the contract signed and the check in hand). Meeting out of idle curiosity is pointless...if they're interested in "seeing" you, I would point them to any upcoming public performances on your website. After all, if they're concerned about your appearance then they'd probably want to see you in costume.

I think it's okay to meet up once the contract's signed - if just for a walk-through of the space you'll be using or to meet the people you'll be working with on the day of the show. But then again, the time it'll take you to meet up should be factored into what you charge for the show.

Safira and I were posting at the same time. :)

I've done pre-gig meetings on occasion for small and large gigs - mostly when the client is unsure of the style of dance, so I invite them to preview a show at one of the restaurants where I work. I think of the times I've offered, maybe three or four have stopped by to meet me ahead of time. They were able to see a show, meet with the restaurant owner and get some info on what it is like working with me, etc.
I'm not opposed to meeting someone ahead of time if it's important to them, but only if it's not an inconvenience for me. I won't take time out or drive some silly distance - if they're interested, they can come to my workplace.

Originally Posted by aazura

All good points Zari. Hmmm... I'll have to rethink my position on this. I've only once been asked for a pre-gig meeting--it was by a bride and she came to my house. But we didn't discuss anything that couldn't have been handled over the phone.

I wonder if brides aren't really a separate category though--they meet with everybody involved in their wedding. The florist and the caterer and the DJ are busy people too, but they meet with the bride beforehand... Just thinking out loud here...

I would ask what the purpose of the meeting was. If it was to see me dance, I would tell him I'm at restaurant ABC on Friday night. I can't imagine what other reason there would be to meet ahead of time.

Originally Posted by safiradokos

I usually do pre-gig meetings with people. Typically at my favorite coffee shop over a nice cup of tea. We discuss all the fine print in my contract and then sign it and I get my deposit. It ensures that there is no potential for misunderstandings and I get a feel for them, which I like. I like being able to close the deal over a cup of tea and a handshake. For big gigs I try to meet with them at the venue so that I can see it in advance and not walk into surprises if at all possible.

I usually dress "belly dancer chic". That typcially means my nice jeans, a cute top, and some ethnic jewelry. A touch of dance in my every day gear. I usually leave my hair down so they can see that its long and I wear makeup...I don't normally wear makeup at all except for gigs. I do an every day version of my performance makeup. Nothing that looks out of place for day time, but enough to give me a slightly exotic whimsical thing going on.

I've never done a pre-gig meeting with someone who hadn't yet said "let's sign the contract". But I have invited potential clients to come and see me perform live at a public gig when it was possible. That has actually worked out really well because they were able to see me interact with the crowd in a way that a video can't really get across. So it hasn't bitten me on the ass yet that I'm aware of.

I agree with Safira. When a deal has been verbally reached a meeting can take place. I only do this for large events though and only when they have agreed to hire me.
I find that with large type events, many people are very stressed and often unaware of many points in hiring a dancer so meeting helps reassure them and lets me go over points in the contract. The organizer of a large event at one of the city's big hospitals told me that she decided to hire me over another dancer in part because the other dancer wouldn't take the time to come meet her and her discuss the event. The whole thing took 20 minutes and everyone was happy.
Occasionally Iwill meet with a bride/ groom. Sometimes they are very stressed and they want their big day to go well, and although they have already checked out my dancing and look, they soemtimes still need the reassurance of meeting. I try not to though when possible, I do have other things to do.

Sometimes I wonder why more people don't ask to meet before hand. Yeah they can see my videos and we can talk on the phone but there is still a lot of room for surprises in there. Not that I want to have meetings with evereyone either.....

Originally Posted by badriya_al_ahmar

I wonder if brides aren't really a separate category though--they meet with everybody involved in their wedding. The florist and the caterer and the DJ are busy people too, but they meet with the bride beforehand... Just thinking out loud here...

Florists, caterers and DJs are making over $1,000 (sometimes a lot more) for the single event. If I were making that much from a single event I'd do a meeting, too. ..g.:
I have met someone once. I even went out of my way. They booked beforehand, but the father of the groom was SO nervous. Funny- you don't think of the father of the groom as being the high maintenance one. It was for an Indian dance event, so quite good money. It ended up being worth my while.
Most of the time if someone wants to meet I simply invite them to a restaurant gig.

The couple of times I did it, it was because I had worked out most of the details with a secretary/office manager, and the person writing the check wanted to meet me in person before doing so. The understanding was that I'd be leaving with the contract signed and a deposit check, and the meeting itself was merely a formality.

No meetings until you are booked first. Don't let him waste your time! I have only done pre-gig meetings for brides, because like someone else said - brides expect to meet all their vendors ahead of time. And even then it's only be a few brides.

I am actually doing a big "super sweet 16" type event in June, and the mom wants me to go to the venue ahead of time to plan out everything (we are carrying the birthday girl in on a sudan, her friends are going to dance, it's a big deal). Since my prices only reflect my actual gig time, i am charging $25 for the "pre-event planning meeting". The venue is not close to my house and I will need to pay a $10 toll to get there - I am certainly not going to start LOOSING money on this gig before it even begins!

Other vendors factor all of their pre-event meetings into their price, which is why you pay other vendors a heck of a lot more money than you pay a bellydancer (I'm thinking wedding type vendors here). So, I can be reasonably priced if you just want me to show up and dance, but if you want to meet with me before hand, I'm going to have to charge for that.

JMO. :-)

Hmmm. If I were him I would like to meet you first. Jus to make sure you weren't a lunatic. I have seen lunatics dance well so there'd be no point seeing you perform at the restaurant to find out the lunatic factor. But talking to you would or could or should reveal your level of lunacy.

Go, take a minder, the contract and a receipt for the deposit. And tell him you only have 10 mins as you are off on another "go-see".

They have to do it on ANTM before they get booked, so I don't see a problem unless you are really stuck for time or he is a freak of some kind.
x

Invite him to a restaurant gig and talk to him before you dance (so you're not sweaty or flushed.) This way you don't go out of your way and he gets the meeting he needs.

When I have worked large corporate events (holiday parties and such) pre-meetings were requested. I believe this is to ensure that the entertainment not only looks good but is able to handle herself with decorum and grace. Many corporate gigs worry about maintaining a professional atmosphere even when holding a party or event. They need to be assuaged that the pretty bellydancer they are hiring isn't going to do something that could leave them open for a law suit.