Thread: Most offensive request ever

Thank the deity of your choice that this call went to my voice mail, I have NO idea how I would have handled this.

The caller had the good sense to sound VERY embarrassed.
"Ummm, yeah, umm, I'm not even sure I've got the right place. But we're doing a birthday party for my uncle and we want ummm kind of a gag bellydancer for him. Like, you know, um, a really overweight one but funny you know? Well, I'm not even sure this is the right place to call, but call me back if you can help me, ok?" ..cr.:,m::

I'm so nauseous. I know I shouldn't be shocked, I'm aware that people do comedy routines of this nature and that people find it really hilarious. I actually could refer him to the singing telegram agency that does funny bag lady strippers and such, but I'm not going to call him back because that would get really ugly really fast.

Some of my dancers are overweight. But they're not jokes.

OMG!

!!!!!

There's so much negative stereotyping in that request, I wouldn't even know where to begin.

There is a German bellydancer who is overweight AND a joke.
Nobody could ever take her seriously...
Bauchtanz

She gets way too much press coverage with her "comedy bellydance" and has been on TV various times. Clearly not to represent the Art of Middle Eastern Dance....

But in discussion forums she always talks of herself as an artist. Yeah. Right.

This is her Shimmy Machine


She also has an illuminated, electrified costume and will sue you if you copy it!

Oh, and she's not only fat but ugly:
Eye of the beholder? Look out, the uglies are coming - Times Online
(that link is on her website!)

MEISSOUN

That's horrible. So offensive.

I hate that Fat=Funny in our culture. If you're overweight your either lazy, funny or pathetic...usually all three. It makes me so sad and angry all at once.

I am sorry you had to put up with that.

*sigh*

I feel certain he can get that or something like it through the singing telegram agency, they do a lot of comedy, including some pretty immature stuff.

But I'm still horrified.

I am so sorry you had to experience this, Lauren. {{{{{hugs}}}}} I'm pissed off just reading about it, so I can't imagine how awful it must have been to hear it. I wonder how anyone can think something so obviously grounded in humiliation and embarrassment could possibly be considered "fun" or "entertainment".

Originally Posted by Lauren_

Some of my dancers are overweight. But they're not jokes.

I'm not saying this to defend this moron, but rather to hopefully make you feel a little better. Since he started with, "I'm not sure I've got the right place...", it sounds to me like maybe he's not specifically calling you because he's seen pics/video of non-skinny dancers on your site. They may have just had the idea and called you without having any idea what you and your dancers look like.

I'm not sure HOW I would have reacted if I had answered the phone. I would have asked if it was a joke call!

I do a lot of boudoir shoots....the main bulk of my photography. I do a lot of nudes, lingerie, glamour, etc for women to give as gifts to their men or just because....

One time I got a call from a man asking if he could have sex with his wife while I photographed it. I was real quiet because I've had really strange requests before.......I said "I don't shoot porn" CLICK! Shooting porn in Arkansas is illegal I believe.

ICK! Gross! I mean...I don't mind nudity. I dont even mind porn but I ain't shooting it! yucky!

But I don't understand what led him to your website in the first place, Lauren. I don't see anything about your promotional materials that would lead somebody to the conclusion that you'd don a fat suit and do the Truffle Shuffle for his uncle, or that you know somebody who would. Guy must have obviously been, well, confused.

And I'll second what Ainsley said. Don't even get me started on the stereotypes....

I'm the only gigging bellydancer in town. You google 'bellydance' and my town name, I'm all there is. (not the site I use in my sig line, but Belly Dance by Lauren and the Hips Afire Bellydancers)

So I'm sure they had this har de har har idea and when they searched for a bellydancer, they got my phone number. I don't think it was at all personal or about me or any of my students.

It's just offensive in general.

Originally Posted by andalee-oriental

I hate that Fat=Funny in our culture.

It's not just our culture, but it is a sad thing. At Ahlan wa Sahlan this year when Saad Soghiar sang he had a large group of men dancing. One was super big and fat and of course although he could move and dance quite well, it was meant to be funny just because of his size. So there he was in the center spotlight doing his thing, personally I was a little shocked, but to them that is entertainment, and of course everybody was laughing at him. ..c::

Yes, I would have been offended too. My grandmother was very wise, and she always said some things in life you cannot chase ..... things like lies and ignorance. That man truely showed his ignorance.

I guess it would be in bad taste to tell such a caller to kiss my fat ass?

Originally Posted by MakedaMaysa

I guess it would be in bad taste to tell such a caller to kiss my fat ass?

I think it's the only appropriate response, but I'll check that out with my Emily Post ettiquette book to be certain.

Originally Posted by Lauren_

"Ummm, yeah, umm, I'm not even sure I've got the right place. But we're doing a birthday party for my uncle and we want ummm kind of a gag bellydancer for him. Like, you know, um, a really overweight one but funny you know? Well, I'm not even sure this is the right place to call, but call me back if you can help me, ok?"

There are obese peoplewho intentionally peddle their services as comedy entertainers. Ive seen yellowpages ads bystripper companies advertising their obesestrippers. Ive seen the occasional comedy performacne by an obese ballerina who was agood dancer but playing ti for laughs.

Dont be too mad at this poor caller. all he really wants is a funny bellydancer and he just wroded his request in a stupid way. If you offered him a thindancer wearing a gorilla suit wiht a belly dance costume hed probably think she was perfec.t

Originally Posted by mysterywoman

If you offered him a thindancer wearing a gorilla suit wiht a belly dance costume hed probably think she was perfec.t

I think I need to get a gorilla suit! (A planet where apes evolved from belly dancers?)

sigh.. the same type would likely request a little person dancer as well. its sad that people think that large people in the entertainment business are for comedy purposes only.

Originally Posted by mysterywoman

There are obese peoplewho intentionally peddle their services as comedy entertainers. Ive seen yellowpages ads bystripper companies advertising their obesestrippers. Ive seen the occasional comedy performacne by an obese ballerina who was agood dancer but playing ti for laughs.

Dont be too mad at this poor caller. all he really wants is a funny bellydancer and he just wroded his request in a stupid way. If you offered him a thindancer wearing a gorilla suit wiht a belly dance costume hed probably think she was perfec.t

As I said, I know this exists and that people find it funny, and I know I shouldn't have been too surprised. But that doesn't stop me from being deeply offended. Imagine approaching a student and friend who's trained for years to become a serious dancer and saying 'hey, you're fat. Wanna go embarass this guy? It'll be hilarious if you dance because, you know, you're fat.' I wish I could believe that our humor has evolved beyond the second grade, even though I know better.

I actually DID think about offering him the gorilla suit option, I happen to own one. ..l;,

The set-up: my mother, a professional belly dancer hired as one of several entertainers at a large party; she is 5'10 1/2" tall and was probably 185+ pounds at the time, "apple"-shaped and could dance like nobody's business.

The scene: my mother is waiting for her turn in the line-up. One of the other entertainers comes up to her and asks her if she does a comedy routine.

Same diff as Lauren's situation, except to Mom's face.

I'm sure it was a great day for her.

The good side? After her very professional and well-received show, she saw the guy again looking mortified. I guess he realized it wasn't a comedy routine . . .

Deborah

Originally Posted by casbahdance

The set-up: my mother, a professional belly dancer hired as one of several entertainers at a large party; she is 5'10 1/2" tall and was probably 185+ pounds at the time, "apple"-shaped and could dance like nobody's business.

The scene: my mother is waiting for her turn in the line-up. One of the other entertainers comes up to her and asks her if she does a comedy routine.

Same diff as Lauren's situation, except to Mom's face.

I'm sure it was a great day for her.

The good side? After her very professional and well-received show, she saw the guy again looking mortified. I guess he realized it wasn't a comedy routine . . .

Deborah

Originally Posted by bellydancewear

It's not just our culture, but it is a sad thing. At Ahlan wa Sahlan this year when Saad Soghiar sang he had a large group of men dancing. One was super big and fat and of course although he could move and dance quite well, it was meant to be funny just because of his size. So there he was in the center spotlight doing his thing, personally I was a little shocked, but to them that is entertainment, and of course everybody was laughing at him. ..c::

I once attended a birthday party for a coworker where the surprise for the birthday boy was an obese man in hula dancer drag...picture a very hairy Michelin Man in a massive coconut bra, long blond wig, grass skirt and you'll have the idea. ..c::

Then again I saw an entertainment agency link that included "granny strippers" in their blurb...safe to say I don't get the whole "novelty" entertainment angle

~~Kimahri

...or you send a size 4 dancer that's damn good and then see who the joke is on...(because size 4 is fat ,r:;)

I used to get calls like that and still do at times from people that want a funny performance... you know, by some guy that dances bellydance...that'd be hilarious to scare the crap out of your buddy with THAT, no?

I always wonder where they get my number from. .w.:

I find it to almost polite of the ones that are as upfront about their intentions to allow me to reject the gig at least ..l;,

Others would probably just hire a dancer for "funny" without telling the dancer about it.....c::

yeah, i fail to see the humor in laughing at someone.

That is so sad.

I wrote a post about this on orientaldancer too but was reminded by this so thought I'd share. I was browsing some dancers' websites and came across one that said she had bought a "fat-suit". She offered to wear this when arriving to the gig and present herself as the bellydancer, the audience would be all scared and chocked because OMG she was fat! and then she would come out without the fat suit, in a bd costume, and everyone would laugh and be relieved and happy that she wasn't fat.
Yeah ha ha ha.... what a joke...

I used to know a large dancer who did gigs like these. She seemed to think it was empowering, but I can't imagine it myself. Then again, Joan Rivers' career has been running on self-deprecating body dysmorphic disorder for the last decade or more, so maybe some people just enjoy making money off being laughed at.

Originally Posted by Lauren_

As I said, I know this exists and that people find it funny, and I know I shouldn't have been too surprised. But that doesn't stop me from being deeply offended. Imagine approaching a student and friend who's trained for years to become a serious dancer and saying 'hey, you're fat. Wanna go embarass this guy? It'll be hilarious if you dance because, you know, you're fat.' I wish I could believe that our humor has evolved beyond the second grade, even though I know better.

I actually DID think about offering him the gorilla suit option, I happen to own one. ..l;,

I had to laugh at this. One of my students and I attended a Halloween party thrown by the studio owner. I dare her to wear a bellydance costume and she did...over her gorilla suit. Showed me lol..

a request i get, regularly, in line with this, is if i can bring a second costume for the best friend (male) to wear and dance with me, cause that would be like soooo funny.

If someone wants funny, go to a clown agency where they are supposed to be funny. And they come in all sizes too. Otherwise, it is not funny at all.