Thread: Blurb - how to do it?

First - I just want to acknowledge that most of my posts recently have been requests for advice, and I know that I *should* pay back into my BhuzKarma pot, but I could do with some more advice first

So...I'm tweaking my website and think my homepage would look better with some more general blurb about me and the classes info moved to the 'teaching' page. However, when I try and write blurb about me it comes over strangely dry and lifeless. I don't want to puff myself up and make outrageous claims for my training or skills, but I don't know how to put a bit more spark into the text either.

This is what I have so far - could you comment? I'm not looking for a re-write, just a bit of advice as to how to make it more...ooomfy... Thanks in advance!

Desna is a bellydance performer and instructor, based in Lancaster, Britain. Bellydance is a Western word referring to the performance dance art form of the Middle East, where it is performed at nightclubs, theatres, parties, and weddings. To find out more about bellydance, please see the articles page.

Desna has been teaching and performing professionally since 2002, although she never ceases to take instruction as she firmly believes that you never stop learning!

In addition to studying bellydance she has also received training in several Middle-Eastern folkloric styles (e.g., Maghrebi Dance, Khaleeji, Sai'idi), and other dance forms such as Bharata Natyam, Salsa and western Contemporary Dance.

As an artist, Desna strives to be as true as she can to the roots of the dance form, without sacrificing innovation. As well as performing in 'traditional' settings such as haflas, restaurants and private parties, she has also staged innovative dance work in a theatrical setting and collaborated with dance artists from other disciplines.

As a teacher Desna is committed to making bellydance as accessible as possible to everyone whilst retaining the context of its cultural and historical background. She is a member of the Foundation for Community Dance and is committed to the principles of community dance and to safe and effective learning for all participants.

She has completed the JWAAD Foundation Teacher Training Course and Ludus Dance's Step Ahead and Step Ahead Plus courses. She is also trained in a number of educational and participatory methodologies, e.g., Training for Transformation, Philosophy for Children and Group Facilitation Methods.

You might find the article on my web site "The Art of the Blurb" helpful. See Belly Dance Advice, Tips, How-To's

Thanks for the pointer, Shira - I'm pretty sure I've read this article before, and it's all good advice.

The thing is, I'm not promoting an event (the article seems to be focussed on that sort of info), but more trying to describe myself as a performer and teacher. I want to do that honestly, blowing my own trumpet enough...but not too much - that's why I asked for some feedback on the text I posted above.

These are so hard to write!!!! How about writing the blurb with emotion on how YOU feel about teaching belly dance and then listing the resume type info seporate?

Honestly, I don't think people stop to read a lot on websites!
I'm a big fan of bullet points. And pictures ..l;,

Can you boil your info down into short snippets? Then they can scan quickly & get an idea of what you're about.
Try categorizing your info into concepts like 'experience' 'training' 'mission statement' 'classes' - things like that.

Speaking of which I should link my signature here so it's clickable - that makes it so easy to check someone out! I think your site is very nice already.

Originally Posted by anthea

Honestly, I don't think people stop to read a lot on websites!
I'm a big fan of bullet points. And pictures ..l;,

Can you boil your info down into short snippets? Then they can scan quickly & get an idea of what you're about.
Try categorizing your info into concepts like 'experience' 'training' 'mission statement' 'classes' - things like that.

I would also suggest rearranging the text into bullet points. Here's a quick example. It's still a bit long, but I think people would find it much easier to read:

Desna is a bellydance performer and instructor based in Lancaster, Britain. A true artist, Desna is committed to making her dance innovative and accessible to all while remaining true to the roots of this rich and beautiful dance form.

Desna brings much experience to the dance community including:


• Dance training in several Middle-Eastern folkloric styles (e.g., Maghrebi Dance, Khaleeji, Sai'idi), and other dance forms such as Bharata Natyam, Salsa and western Contemporary Dance.

• Member of the Foundation for Community Dance - is committed to the principles of community dance and to safe and effective learning for all participants.

• Teacher training including the JWAAD Foundation Teacher Training Course, Ludus Dance's Step Ahead, and Step Ahead Plus courses.

• Additional training in several educational and participatory methodologies such as, Training for Transformation, Philosophy for Children and Group Facilitation Methods.

• A personal commitment to making bellydance as accessible as possible to everyone whilst retaining the context of its cultural and historical background.

• A professional commitment to continue seeking out knowledge and instruction as Desna firmly believes that you never stop learning!


* Bellydance is a Western word referring to the performance dance art form of the Middle East, where it is performed at nightclubs, theatres, parties, and weddings. To find out more about bellydance, please see the articles page

Originally Posted by anthea

Try categorizing your info into concepts like 'experience' 'training' 'mission statement' 'classes' - things like that.

That's a good idea, too!

Hi - sorry for not responding earlier - no web access over weekend.

First off, thanks for all the suggestions. Bullet points / categories just hadn't occurred to me, though I can see how they would work now!

Asra* - thankyou for re-arranging my info into bullet points - I'm going to do some tweaking, but are you ok for me to use this pretty much as is?

Anthea - thanks for positive feedback on the website

..g.: