Thread: Best Gig Ever...

Just thought I'd share my best gig I've had so far. Last week a woman emailed me from the DA office, in regards to their Mediterranean xmas party. I sent her my rates, bellygram, full show, ect. Woman wants the full show, 15-20 minutes. I show up, and not only are there not ANY Mediterranean decor, the crowd of about 50 is dressed very nicely and I'm quite sure they've never seen a bellydancer in their lives. The woman then asks me to embarrass an older gentleman, as he is retiring. I do my entrance, dance near the guy a little for the organizers to get photos, all over the period of one 4 minute song. During this time, the woman who hired my asks my fiance (who comes with me to all gigs for photo/video/security) how long I plan to dance for. He says, "Well about 15 minutes" to which the woman replies "Is there any way to stop her"... (I'm sure he wanted to say, NO! She is UNSTOPPABLE!) But he just cut the music. So I got out with one song, full pay (and a tip!) and back to work in time as I took my lunch break to do this gig. (The Secret Lives of Bellydancers...)
I really wanted to give up dancing professionally, I've been burned by so many restaurant owners, leered at and laughed at, and it felt good to finally have one win. Anyone else have any bellydance wins lately?

Jealous!!! That was very cool!

I don't want to rain on your parade, but how was that the "best gig ever"? Full pay plus tip for being asked to leave? To me, the win would have been if the customer didn't quite understand what she was hiring when she booked you, but when you got there, everyone found you so unexpectedly amazing and entertaining that they didn't want your performance to end, and lots of people asked for your card so they could book you at their own parties, recommend you to others, and sign up for your classes. The idea that a customer would be so disappointed or caught off guard by a performance that they asked the dancer to stop early instead of finishing her full set doesn't sound like much of a success. What I'm afraid it sounds like is that you've become disheartened and cynical and your confidence has been shaken after a string of bad performance experiences, and that's not much of a win.

I agree with Tourbeau. I was reading your post and seeing myself in your situation and thinking how confused I would feel by this scenario. I would need to understand why the client rejected my work.

I had the same thoughts as Tourbeau and Anala. I had this happen to me the very first time I performed professionally. I was totally disheartened and it took time for me to get over that horrible feeling of rejection. Hmmm.....maybe I looked at the situation all wrong.

Disclaimer: Everything is a learning process. Please commit my response and any others to memory as a possible "Plan B" for future gigs that pan out like this....

Personally, I don't think your boyfriend should have let that lady stop your set. While weird SNAFU's like this occasionally happen even to the best of us, I think the best possible outcome is to do your thing and give people a chance to fall in love with you. This will make you look good and make the easily offended guest/s look bad!

Now, if more than one person was offended, then that, perhaps, might warrant a different conversation...

Yeah Im also not seeing how this was a win. It seems like it actually might have been a bad gig. Its never a good thing when someone cuts your music and asks you to leave.......c::

There has to be more to this story. It confuses me more every time I think about it. Did your client apologize for cutting you off? Did anybody ever give you an explanation? Did other people seem to be enjoying your set?

If not, I'd be tempted to follow up with a tactful e-mail expressing your concern and inviting feedback. I mean, once in a blue moon, we all have to deal with clients who are just plain weird. But I would really want to know if it was something I did, so I could take corrective action in the future. Does this make any sense?

Additional thoughts...

Even though your client explicitly requested that you embarrass the retiree, I generally try my hardest to avoid this type of schtick when I'm dancing in somebody's workplace. (Unless, of course, the guest of honor is laughing and having fun and obviously would seem to enjoy a mild razzing). I keep it fun and keep it light, but tone it down a notch compared to, say, a house party.

Having worked in Corporate America, and having a boyfriend who works in Human Resources, I know that most organizations don't take (sexual or non-sexual) harassment complaints lightly. Trouble is, while you and I both know that a bellygram is good clean fun, "harrassment" is sort of an umbrella term without a clear definition. If a behavior causes somebody to feel uncomfortable, they can technically file a complaint, which can make things really messy from an HR standpoint. *Technically* somebody can file a sexual harrassment claim against you for saying "You look great today!" or "I love your new haircut."

That being said, there is a slight possibility that the Guest of Honor might have voiced concern and the Powers That Be might have ordered your client to put the kibosh on your show to prevent a more serious situation from erupting. The last thing any corporation wants, these days, is the threat of a harrassment suit.

If this is the case, there's nothing you can really do about it, except be a little more mindful of people's comfort zones next time you dance in an office scenario. Still, I'd seek an explanation for my own personal satisfaction and learning purposes.

I thought that the OP's statement was written tongue in cheek. It sounds as if this gig was the icing on the cake of several recent bad experiences.

That being said, I agree with Satin about continuing with the show and giving them a new experience.

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Disclaimer: Everything is a learning process. Please commit my response and any others to memory as a possible "Plan B" for future gigs that pan out like this....

A lot of entertainers feel that professionalism is better judged by how one handles harsh critics, disinterested audiences, and performances where things go wrong than to look at the shows when everything goes according to plan and is well received. As a result, it's important to learn as much as possible from the less successful episodes. It's also important to consider if, when one has a series of bad experiences, it is unfortunate coincidence or something else. If you were unwittingly doing something that was interfering with your own success, wouldn't it be important to know so that you could correct the problem?

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

A lot of entertainers feel that professionalism is better judged by how one handles harsh critics, disinterested audiences, and performances where things go wrong than to look at the shows when everything goes according to plan and is well received. As a result, it's important to learn as much as possible from the less successful episodes. It's also important to consider if, when one has a series of bad experiences, it is unfortunate coincidence or something else. If you were unwittingly doing something that was interfering with your own success, wouldn't it be important to know so that you could correct the problem?

Most definitely.

That's why I suggested in a later post that the OP contact the client with a tactful e-mail to see what happened. If I overstepped any boundaries or did anything offensive, I'd certainly want to know.

In answer to midnight star's original question, re: recent gig wins:

Ruric and Samovar were asked to participate in a benefit performance being organized by a young dance team teacher. A couple of troupe members agreed to go in return for gas money. When they got there, they found the following situation: the organizer had confirmations from 10 or so groups a month ago, which shrunk to 5 by this week. Two groups cancelled on her yesterday (day of show) and one just didn't show up. So.... it was her singing friend, her young dance group, herself, and us. The turnout was predictably low. Not even all of the girls' parents came. Nevertheless, the entertainment was very good. Her friend sang, and he was very very good. Our dancers were very impressed with the young dance team, the organizer was the teacher and she got all the little girls to move in unison. They were very energetic and fun to be around, and they all loved our belly dancers. All of the people in the audience (moms) gave Samovar compliments and took business cards.

Despite the cancellations and poor turnout, the young organizer was very nice and professional, providing the dancers with the promised water, snacks, and a dressing room. She referred to our dancers as professional dancers to everyone in conversation and during announcements. When time came to pay, she didn't make excuses... she just came in and attempted to pay the promised money. Since it was almost all the money they made that night, our dancers didn't take the money.

In short, it was a gig that did not fit any of our normal specifications for a success, but one that left us feeling like we met a talented person and made friends, young and old. Plus Ronald McDonald house got a few bucks after all :)

Although I, too, am curious about the circumstances surrounding cutting the show short, I'm not certain that the act of cutting off her show was due to negativity about midnight_star herself.

From the OP's information, it seems that this was a corporate-type event and that there may, indeed, have been some misgivings on the part of management once she started dancing. In that vein, then, the problem on the part of management would be the perceived "appropriateness" of BD in that setting.

If the person who hires me asks me to stop dancing, I'll try to find out why before I stop the show, if that's at all possible, and take whatever reason given to me at face value; if it doesn't seem appropriate to continue, I most certainly will stop the show, get my full pay and leave happy.

This seems to be the scenario midnight_star shared. Since she got paid for a full set (and even got a tip!) I really don't think there's any reason to call this gig a failure or necessarily something less than a success.

Here's a real-life story from my early days of dancing that looks similar to midnight_star's experience:

Someone had booked Mom and I to do a 'gram type of thing at a local restaurant during lunch -- it was probably a birthday party. After specifically asking the client about receiving permission from restaurant management to perform there, Mom and I showed up and, within just a few moments, we were told to pack up our stuff and leave -- the owner was calling the cops. Obviously, the client had not secured permission from management to bring in entertainment. The only reason I consider that to be an unsuccessful gig was because we ran out of there so fast we didn't get paid.

We did nothing wrong, as entertainers. The venue/manager had the problem.

All that said, if I was not able to ascertain the reason for cutting a show short at the time, I'd do my best to find out later.

Deborah

Originally Posted by casbahdance

Here's a real-life story from my early days of dancing that looks similar to midnight_star's experience:

Someone had booked Mom and I to do a 'gram type of thing at a local restaurant during lunch -- it was probably a birthday party. After specifically asking the client about receiving permission from restaurant management to perform there, Mom and I showed up and, within just a few moments, we were told to pack up our stuff and leave -- the owner was calling the cops. Obviously, the client had not secured permission from management to bring in entertainment. The only reason I consider that to be an unsuccessful gig was because we ran out of there so fast we didn't get paid.

We did nothing wrong, as entertainers. The venue/manager had the problem.

Deborah

I was hired to do a BellyGram at a retirement party once; the person who hired me was not going at be at the event, but gave me the contact name of someone who was going to be there. It turned out the the retirement party was being given by the retiree's employer (who my client was not associated with), and when the CEO heard about me I was told almost immediately to leave. It sure wasn't what I was dancing or even wearing - the CEO never even saw me, I was in the lobby the whole time. The message was delivered by the poor contact guy, who was very embarrassed and apologetic with me. Plus, I never even got my coat off, let alone my cover up. I was angry and upset for a while afterward, but I'm now able to view it objectively and boil it down to "his house, his rules."

I called the client from the venue, but he didn't answer his phone. So I left him a message saying what happened. He had already paid me the full amount in advance, since he wasn't planning on being there. I told him I was considering it a cancellation within 24 hours, which my contract states requires that I be paid in full.

Daughter was once hired to perform at the wedding of a delightful, well educated and personable Persian lady. The dance was the bride's gift to the groom. After we got there, we discovered that the groom was an American Christian of the type that do NOT look at belly dancers. Neither did his family, who were (fortunately) sitting together. The bride had a good time and was very gracious about thanks and a tip. The groom never looked up from his plate during the 1/2 hour performance. I've always wondered how that marriage worked out...

Hmm, I guess I explained it wrong. I think the woman planning this had no idea what was going on (obviously) and what happened was the boss was giving a powerpoint presentation and there was a pause in the presentation for me to come out and dance, then the presentation was to continue. No one told me this, so I assumed I'd be doing a full set. My music wasn't cut off mid song- just after the first song. So the man expected to finish his presentation and here I am still shimmying! My fiance stops the music after the first song and I had a very graceful exit with lots of folks wanting pictures with me and applauding. I guess what I liked best about the gig is I brought bellydance to an audience that had never seen it before and maybe changed some perceptions of the dance a little. Alot of women in the beginning of the set were scowling and rolling there eyes, and as I made eye contact with them and invited them to dance with me, they opened up and had fun. The man I was supposed to embarrass (which entailed me dancing anywhere near him and inviting him up to dance) was very embarrassed simply by that ( I have a feeling the expected a lapdance- changed their minds!) The crowd was very receptive, clapping, cheering, and getting up to dance with me. I did get a couple inquires about classes via email the next day too (definite win!). I think they just needed to finish the presentation so my time was sadly, cut short ;)

I'm about to come off as a hardass:
The woman planning this or who hired you might not have had any idea what to expect in hiring you, but if you're the first belly dancer they've hired...well...explaining what hiring you entails, and checking that they are able to provide you with what you need to get that done, is part of your job. It sounds like if you'd talked about the environment and conditions you'd be dancing in, it would have made sense for you to steer the woman towards something more like a bellygram than a show...and that is probably what she was imagining.

That could have gone much much much worse for you. It doesn't seem like a bad gig, but it sounds like one that wasn't good either... and one you were not prepared for.

You may want to review Princess Farhana's latest blog on the topic of things you should be asking about before you book a show.

PRINCESS FARHANA: THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE BOOKING A SHOW

Your first teacher also has a good article on it in PDF form (I checked your website to see if you had booking info about what sets usuall contain...your link for your first teacher needs a - )
Mahsati Janan ~ Essential Raqs Sharqi ~ Classical Belly Dance

before i go on, start the set, i always re-check, "so, this cd is 15 minutes, i can add another pop song if people want to party more, or we can make it shorter",
"oh, you're party is running overtime , dont worry, we can cut the middle song", or "here's another cd, it's just 8 minutes, would that be better, it'll be one song for the audience to watch, a short drum solo (exciting!) and a few minutes where i get the audience up". "no, i dont mind dancing a little shorter, whatever your party takes"

"oh, you'd like a longer bopping party, you really wanna party, well, i'll signal the dj he can put this on as well, after my set ends, if they are still going, and that'll keep em dancing, "

etc.

i've had a few being cut short experiences and since then i always always re-ask.

i ask and explain on the phone, in email. i try to find out as much about the party as possible and will steer towards belygram or towards full set depending on the answers and music wise come prepared for both anyway, and then ask again when i arrive.

people often dont realise how long 15 -20 minutes is, and for this office type things, shorter is usually better ;-). same pay ;-)

Originally Posted by ozma

I'm about to come off as a hardass:

But why? There's often an unexpected side to a gig. Sounds like it was handled well by all and the Midnight star left with a smile on her and on the audience faces.

Originally Posted by maurazebra

But why? There's often an unexpected side to a gig. Sounds like it was handled well by all and the Midnight star left with a smile on her and on the audience faces.

And I think that is a testament to her positive thinking...but coming out a a gig like that without being able to troubleshoot what went wobbly (and evaluating her role in the misunderstanding) and figuring out about ways to avoid future misunderstandings would be foolish and could easily lead to a situation that doesn't end up as well as this one did.

Shaking it off is a great skill to have as a regular gigger, but if a dancer doesn't also have the ability to evaluate the situation and their methods of business then it's gonna be a rough path.

I'm glad this went better than her restaurant gigs have recently...but I'm not the only one thinking this was far from the best gig ever and wondering how much that is tongue and cheek and how much it might be denial. I'm glad she's a positive person, but I also want her to know that this gig could have gone smoother and learning from it will help increase the ability for the next gigs to be much better.

Originally Posted by maurazebra

But why? There's often an unexpected side to a gig. Sounds like it was handled well by all and the Midnight star left with a smile on her and on the audience faces.

This was my interpretation, as well. Even the most experienced and capable dancers get thrown a curveball once in awhile.

In this case, the client ommitted a major logistical detail. That, or, the plans were changed at the very last minute and the client should have filled the OP in before her set. If the OP was briefed that she'd have to dance in the middle of somebody's presentation, I'm sure she would've offered a shorter set or course-corrected on the spot. But it sounds like she and the client mutually agreed that a longer set was better.

Of course, asking a thousand questions is just part of the booking process. But just as it's our job to ask all the right questions, the client also has a duty to give input, make suggestions, and ultimately approve the specifications. Belly dancers may be intriguing creatures, but we're not mind readers. Managing expectations is a two-way street.

ETA: And, of course, the lesson to be learned from a gig like this is to make everything exceptionally clear during the booking questionaire process. Repeat stuff back to the customer. Ask for clarification. Invite them to make requests. Repeat it all back to them again. Knowing that clients sometimes leave out important details, the best thing to do is to screen the living crap out of every gig, and try to understand the role you play in the big picture. (Are you there to embarrass somebody? To create ambience? To get the party started? etc)

From the lack of details, it's hard for me to infer that this is the dancer's fault and that she didn't handle the gig correctly.

Also, from the corporate America side, cutting someone's set isn't necessarily "OMG, we think the dancer is evil and have visions of sexual harrasment lawsuits and we are shocked and angry and now hate belly dance forever." I've been the event planner or worked wtih the event planner - sometimes they aren't very good, sometimes the schedule gets backed up, sometimes they don't really care.

I'm glad that we on bhuz can be really hard on ourselves on how to book a gig and handle ourselves, but I do think we make assumptions that can be wrong for the client, especially corporate gigs. Most times, they don't put nearly as much thought into it as we do (though of course there are exceptions).

This is a DA's office - I've worked with DA's before, they are massively busy, overworked, and disorganized. The fact that they could bring everyone together for any length of time is impressive. And, knowing my DA, they would have insisted on a 20 minute gig no matter how much I explained otherwise.

Originally Posted by phillyraqs

This is a DA's office - I've worked with DA's before, they are massively busy, overworked, and disorganized. The fact that they could bring everyone together for any length of time is impressive. And, knowing my DA, they would have insisted on a 20 minute gig no matter how much I explained otherwise.

This would definitely make sense.

Judging by the responses on this thread (and my own thought processes), I think there's a delicate balance between examining our strengths and challenges vis-a-vis the outcome of our gigs, and otherwise beating ourselves up for things that may or may not have been within our control.

I think we need to learn as much as we can from the occasional glitchy gig. But I also think we can chalk a lot of these incidents up to the unpredictable environment we dance in, and the overall ignorance of general public audiences. Most everyday people know what to expect and how to conduct themselves during a ballet or a Broadway show, but the finer points of BD are still sort of a mystery for many.

Originally Posted by ozma

...coming out a a gig like that without being able to troubleshoot what went wobbly (and evaluating her role in the misunderstanding) and figuring out about ways to avoid future misunderstandings would be foolish and could easily lead to a situation that doesn't end up as well as this one did...Shaking it off is a great skill to have as a regular gigger, but if a dancer doesn't also have the ability to evaluate the situation and their methods of business then it's gonna be a rough path...
I'm glad this went better than her restaurant gigs have recently...I also want her to know that this gig could have gone smoother and learning from it will help increase the ability for the next gigs to be much better.

I'm relatively new to Bhuz and not yet sure who gets along with who and who is secretly hoping to boff who and etc. What I understand you to be saying here is that, based on previous postings, you perceive that Midnight Star exhibits a pattern of not evaluating what goes wrong and what goes right and you'd like her to consider taking steps x, y and z to prevent further occurrences. Yes?

Originally Posted by maurazebra

I'm relatively new to Bhuz and not yet sure who gets along with who and who is secretly hoping to boff who and etc.

What? Apparently you didn't get your Bhuz User's Manual in the mail yet. They go over all this stuff in Chapter One! ..l;,

Did any of you read Midnights SECOND post where she described what happened in a little better detail? Nobody has said anything about that post she made.

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

I'm relatively new to Bhuz and not yet sure who gets along with who and who is secretly hoping to boff who and etc.

What? Apparently you didn't get your Bhuz User's Manual in the mail yet. They go over all this stuff in Chapter One! ..l;,

Sheesh. You obviously have an out-of-date version of the Bhuz User's Manual. Boffing Tables were moved to a separate appendix two editions ago. You fail! No more candy for you!

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

Sheesh. You obviously have an out-of-date version of the Bhuz User's Manual. Boffing Tables were moved to a separate appendix two editions ago. You fail! No more candy for you!

Alas, Tourbeau! You can take away my candy, but you'll never take away my shimmies!

Originally Posted by Michelle75

Did any of you read Midnights SECOND post where she described what happened in a little better detail? Nobody has said anything about that post she made.

Yeah, it doesn't exactly sound like a failed gig when you read the second post. It just sounds like the client didn't know what they wanted or otherwise didn't articulate what they had in mind.

And like I said before, they wouldn't have tipped Midnight if she had done anything wrong.

Now I'm off to memorize Boffing Tables before Tourbeau takes away any more of my Snickers bars....w.: