Thread: Sick of the Biz

Sorry you are feeling so bad! People with who own their own businesses go thru what you are expressing, regardless of what it is. It seems to me that it is not the nature of Belly dance, but the nature of self-employment in which you are hitting a rough spot in the road. And "career burnout" can happen to anyone, regardless of self-employment or not.
It is hard to be able to take a deep breath, let alone a vacation or breath when this wall is hit.
Maybe you are ready to change careers, maybe you are not. Maybe giving up your dance world & business is the right decision for you, maybe it is not. I have trouble making decisions when I am feeling overworked and underappreciated. You're right in comparing the feeling as if in a marriage that seems bad, "should I stay or should I go".
Seeking help for finding some clear space in your head so that you can make good decisions is one choice & it seems that you have started that process.

Well, maybe a song will help. I ran across this one in Mimi Spencer's Gems songbook tonight and thought of several of you:
"With calm weather and bad weather the steamships journey/ to the harbors of the whole earth, west and east
But I, for my own good, I set sail to my dreams/ to fit out a small boat with the sailcloth and to spread the sails, to have everything I need with me, lots of eating, drinking, relaxing and lying down
My body in the water, my mind in the sea / and my thoughts little clouds that take me far / with seagulls in the air and dolphins in the waters
With calm weather and bad weather the steamships would be searching for me / in the harbors of the whole earth, west and east / in the harbors of the whole earth -- but never this earth (only in my dreams).

Running a business is not for the faint of heart! I ran a day care for over 20 years. Yes no paid anything! I wlked away and now have a day job (because making a living at dance is not going to happen right now in my area)
here are a few questions to sit down and answer (do it for at least a month several times. keep the answers and then compile them, will get you in a seporate mood when answering every time)

Ask yourself:

Why did I do this in the first place (running a business)?
Did I achieve what I wanted to do?

What are the things that I would change is I stay?
How?

What will I want to do if I leave?

What are my biggest problems with my business?
How can i solve these?

If I had a magic wand how what would I do?
Is there some way in REALITY to do some of this?

List the things that would make me happy, get me inspired:

Can I do these?

List the pros of running the business:

List the cons:


If I stay what are my goals?

If I leave what are my goals?

Writing it all down helps! I did this with my day care business and decided that I needed to let it go. (I also wanted to spend more time on my belly dance business so it worked out!)

Hope this helps! maybe you have some questions of your own that you can answer?

Originally Posted by anthea

I feel you but at the same time I had to laugh. We work so daggone much, and get little to show for it really. Then hobbyists come along and want to do it all too, but for free & with lower standards. It kind of makes you wonder why we spend our lives on this?? For instance, this new song & video I just posted? - I did the music, the dance, the costumes, taught the students, made the video. Maybe I'll get a few compliments! Or not! Hot dog! Meanwhile let's see which bills I can pay this month...

Video? Where? Share!

Faaria, that's an excellent way to look at it. Maybe I should keep a copy of that list of questions for the next time I feel burnt out and want to quit!

But you're right. Sometimes you've just gotten what you need out of the experience and need to move on. There's nothing wrong with that. In the end, if you're not happy and can't find a way to be happy, then why do it, you know?

Faaria, Thanx for the list of questions! Great tool

I agree with all who advised taking the "burn out" seriously, but recognize that if your income depends on teaching, performing and events - it is very challenging to take the break from bellydance that you want and probably need. I don't have an easy answer beyond acknowledging where you are right now isn't easy or simple.

Because I had a day job, I've been able to take complete breaks from bellydance in my 20 years of bd "passion"; one time it was a year where I didn't even listen to BD music because it was a reminder that I was so, so burnt-out that none of it was enjoyable. I even put away my costumes (and I do love the glitz!).

You mentioned you weren't as "aggressive" with your Amway as you could be - if there is a way you can focus more on that until you get to a point that you can at least stop one of the aspects of bellydance that you think is the MOST draining at this point, and still be able to pay your bills.

I know a teacher who is still performing and teaching, but dropped the event planning (haflas with food, venue rental, musicians, etc.) because it was draining her so much on every level; especially emotionally.

Sending positive thoughts your way and know you are NOT alone in this.

I really USED these! I left and was burnt out from my other business and wanted to pursue what I really love BUT I make much less than I did then! To me it was worth it. The list helped me get there. The list might just help in burnt out times regain focus or redirect your business focus. Being in an artistic business it is sometimes difficult to think in business terms AND artistic terms but I guess we have to.
I wish you luck in making up your mind!