Thread: "Did you learn bellydance to dance for your man?"

Originally Posted by Mosaika

Did he really say/hint at that. What a total nuf-nuf.

yes he did. see it here http://www.bhuz.com/forum/rest-belly...-fox-news.html

Check it:

http://www.bhuz.com/forum/rest-belly...-fox-news.html

That's right, we have Osama bin Laden to thank for our love of bellydance. Fo realz.

Back to the original question: Do you think this would be similar to asking a great chef if she got into cooking for her husband? Maybe a stretch, since most (not ALL) bellydancers are female and chefs are more evenly male/female...

I've been asked this so0o many times.. that, and also when people approach my husband after a show and say.. "huh, she must all of those moves on you"

But that doesnt bother me as much as the folks who assume that because I Belly Dance I can also magically perform crazy dance stunts, such as "swallowing my sword" or my favorite:

A quinceañera once asked me if I could "make it clap" ..c::

Originally Posted by amidabellydance

A quinceañera once asked me if I could "make it clap" ..c::

eewwww.

Originally Posted by amidabellydance

A quinceañera once asked me if I could "make it clap" ..c::

Classy.

I've been laughing my butt off to ya'lls replys!..l;,..l;,..l;,



Just to confirm for all of you: Your boyfriends,husbands,or significant others ARE lucky to have you!!!!!!!..g.:

Originally Posted by amidabellydance

A quinceañera once asked me if I could "make it clap" ..c::

YACK!

Originally Posted by amidabellydance

A quinceañera once asked me if I could "make it clap" ..c::

I can . . . but I didn't learn it by bellydancing...g.:..l;,

Originally Posted by aziyade

My favorite -- and actual quote:

"How did you manage to get sequins in the microwave?"

Second place:

"Why are there sequins in my underwear?"
(Answer: Gravity. I hung up a costume right over the laundry bin and heat vent.)

lol That reminds me of the time when my husband opened his tackle box to find his fishing line in a tangled mess! The look of utter total confession that crept across his face was priceless. ..l;,

Re: sequins everywhere

my roommate woke up one morning with a sequin on her face lol! not sure how it got there!!

but i've had people ask me that and just say "no". didn't happen recently so i haven't had the opportunity to say something witty. the man had some people tell him he's "lucky" (in the inappropriate way) and he once said, "Why??!! She forces me to follow her to all her events, listen to tons of arabic music, and tries to get me to play rhythms for her! The luckiest I get is to occasionally see her get out of her costume, but even then it's followed up by a t shirt and pajama pants!" His friend was like
Oh...uhhh...."

i gave him a kiss after that :)

Originally Posted by amidabellydance

A quinceañera once asked me if I could "make it clap" ..c::

This must be a cultural difference thing. I don't get it.

So are dancers generally against performing for their husbands/partners in private? Or is it just that the general public assume that is what it is all about?

I have to say..the husband thing is something that irks me too.

One of the #1 comments I hear when someone new learns I am a BD is...

"oh, I bet your husband really likes that"

my answer...

yes, because everything I do is for my husband and not me...LOL.

Originally Posted by HubicRuzz

So are dancers generally against performing for their husbands/partners in private? Or is it just that the general public assume that is what it is all about?

We have tried the he-drums, I-dance thing a few times, but since he picks up a drum about once a year, we end up with rhythmus interuptus all the time.

Good one steffib!!!

So are dancers generally against performing for their husbands/partners in private?

I am not against it, but he would rather watch a formula one race! It just doesnt hold any mystery for him anymore.

Originally Posted by HubicRuzz

So are dancers generally against performing for their husbands/partners in private? Or is it just that the general public assume that is what it is all about?

it's just annoying when people assume that's ALL THERE IS TO IT. i think people can do whatever they want in their own homes, and when i get people who assume it's for the bedroom (it's only happened once, and it was my cousin who said "there are different levels of bellydance right? there's the stage and family friendly, and then there's the boudoir kind." i had totally forgotten about that time!) i say "it'd be like a ballerina showing off how flexible she is to turn on her husband." (which my aunt the former professional ballerina did not protest) that was clear and easy to understand for her.

My hair dresser asked me this question while my husband was sitting next to me (he happened to come with that day). He gave her the weirdest expression, like he couldn't believe what had come out of her mouth. He was like "What are you talking about? It's dance not bedroom seduction." I barely had to say a word because she looked really embarrased and confused. I added something like, "Well, I don't usually feel 'sexy' when I'm all sweaty and in my workout clothes. It would be very strange. If he watches me it's because I'm showing him a routine and I want his opinion." She said that she felt completely uneducated about bellydancing and never even thought about it being a tough dance --or that I had to practice that much. I can see why. All those videos that claim you can be an instant bellydancer will get anyone confused.

But my husband's expression was priceless...What!!!

Haha I did a private performance for the man tonight for the first time since we'd been together, and it was belly dance! all though i will admit it was because the studios were all taken and I needed him to critique me on my zilling, so i had to practice, full costume, in his tiny room while he played Halo 2 and made fun of my horrible zill skill

You're all so well educated about BD that I think it's hard to imagine being in a person's mind who only get misinformation from stereotypes and media! I admit I used to think BD was naughty, too, till I finally decided to do research, take classes, and get a reality check. I think people are just teasing/joking or are innocently misinformed.

I don't have a partner but I'm still surprised so many of yours aren't that interested! Or maybe they were till you guys set them straight, lol. I had a wanna-be-boyfriend who would keep asking me to dance for him after he found out I took classes (of course I never did) and I wouldn't be surprised if he'd come up with one of those comments from this thread. I don't think he necessarily thinks that's all BD is about, but he thinks it's part of it and it's the only part he cares about. I haven't been asked that question, but since the odd person does start because of a parter, I think I'd just answer "not in my case" and shrug it off.

I would think a simple "No" or "No, I learned this for me." with a big smile before you exit the conversation.

mine is "well, while he fully supports my carreer, he really would prefer me to be home more"

Originally Posted by Rosette

My (actually quite truthful) answer is . . . "My man would rather get a pointed stick in the eye than watch belly dancing." It shuts 'em right up.

In any case, I recommend a quick and pithy response to this one rather than bothering with an educational explanation. Asking about whether ANYTHING you've done was for the purpose of providing a sexual turn-on for your partner is really not very polite, now, is it?
Rosette

"she only puts in her lenses to go perform! not to go out with me! she puts on all this nice make up, does her hair, goes out as soon as it's done, doesnt even wanna kiss me good bye as it'll mess up the lipstick, and when she gets home, she takes it all off again and puts her glasses back on. oh, and she sleeps half the day on MY days off".

Originally Posted by eden_eyes

Re: sequins everywhere
the man had some people tell him he's "lucky" (in the inappropriate way) and he once said, "Why??!! She forces me to follow her to all her events, listen to tons of arabic music, and tries to get me to play rhythms for her! The luckiest I get is to occasionally see her get out of her costume, but even then it's followed up by a t shirt and pajama pants!" His friend was like
Oh...uhhh...."

i gave him a kiss after that :)

i do make mine watch my new sets. usually i just get a "that's nice honey" ;-)

he IS getting good at helping me choose a costume though.

Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

Surida, why did you delete your comment? I didn't see it and now Zorba has me wondering...g.:

It was just a little TM

Originally Posted by anala

Good one steffib!!!

So are dancers generally against performing for their husbands/partners in private?

I am not against it, but he would rather watch a formula one race! It just doesnt hold any mystery for him anymore.

Mine comes to shows to take photos. Bless him.

I might offer to do a private performance tonight but England are playing Egypt (that's football - the real kind don't you know..g.:) tonight and guess who I'm supporting?

Originally Posted by artemisia_danst

i do make mine watch my new sets. usually i just get a "that's nice honey" ;-)

..l;, sounds so familiar! that's all i get out of mine for pretty much anything bellydance, from "Look at what i learned today!", to "lookiez my pretty costuuume!" :D he's colorblind too so even costume choice or whatnot, not a chance in getting an opinion there lol. Show-wise he'll come if i near *beg* him (and if it's not out of town..), but he'll gladly stay just the minimum. not a fan of oriental music (though he does sing along to Oolooloo :D acting silly, but still! ^^). He never criticized Anything about me having this as a hobby(/obsession), but i know the *only* thing he likes about is that it makes me happy lol

mine sings along to sukker bulag; he also knows the names of alll the famous bellydancers. when we watch a video he can go "oh, didnt that one stay at our house once". and he's good at picking veil colours.

coming along to shows? well, the first one i ever took him too was one of these 4 hours monstrosities. since then i either have to promise him "that it's not by that woman", or that he can go home in the break.

Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

I know, but some people actually think this is true. Sad, I know. I recently met someone and he asked what I do and when I said I'm a bellydancer. I teach and perform. He said oh yeah, do women do that so they can dance for their men?

This is exactly what infuriates me - the idea that ALL of this is for some man; that my actions, passions, expenses, pursuits and dreams are so likely done to turn on some guy. Women do some things for reasons other than men and the fact that the first assumption is otherwise indicates a certain attitude toward women that is pathetic.

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Honestly, I wouldn't think less of somebody who initially learned to belly dance for their husband or SO. As long as they eventually came to the revelation that there's more to BD than seduction, of course! It's an annoying question, but many people can't wrap their heads around what would compel an average person to take up such an interesting pastime. So they like to ask.

I wouldn't either. I wouldn't even think less of her if she took classes and never went beyond dancing in those private moments. But wondering what made us pick an interesting hobby and assuming that we did it to get the captain to stand at attention are two different wonders. It's not the same question and that is the problem.

This conversation reminds me that the other day I was watching the old Star Trek episodes--I think it was the pilot episode, which gets repeated about 8 episodes in--and there was a woman dancing bellydance inspired moves. She was lathered in green paint and the music had elements of Middle Eastern, though it was supposed to be happening in some distant planet. In any case, it was a dance of seduction for the men, and they were all admiring her for being so desirable. This is such a common image in the media. I know I recently saw another movie --can't remember the name, but it was pretty new --and the dancer there was extremely raunchy. Again, seducing the men with extreme poses. And then we see professional dancers who are used in films and videos, and it's hard to separate between one and the other. So, I don't necessarily blame people for having the wrong image.

This also reminds me of when others speak of salsa dancing as raunchy and extremely sexual, when I grew up dancing it in front of my parents at parties and there was never anything raunchy or sexual about it. Completely innocent! Not at all what you see on TV, like on Dancing with the Stars and other dance shows. If I were panting around on the dance floor, dressed in some short skirt and letting boys touch my body, my mother would've dragged me out by my ponytail and beat the crap out of me.

Originally Posted by ozma

I would think a simple "No" or "No, I learned this for me." with a big smile before you exit the conversation.

I agree - a big, slightly quizzical smile with that "No" goes a long way.