Thread: "Did you learn bellydance to dance for your man?"

I haven't gotten this question, but if I did, I'd go with a simple "no." Oh, and:

Originally Posted by HubicRuzz

This must be a cultural difference thing. I don't get it.

Urban Dictionary: Booty clap

Originally Posted by Khalilah

WHAAAAAAA?!?!?!?! YOU DIDN'T?!?!?!?!?!

Just kidding, as we all know, most of us starting bellydancing because of 9/11, right Bill O'Reilly? ..l;,..l;,

I'M BUSTED!!

Seriously, I took up bellydance to get over a man because I knew it was something that would totally absorb my mind and make me feel really good, which is what I needed at the time. Funnily enough, I still see the man in my general vicinity from time to time and wonder what the big deal was but I'm still in love with bellydance instead of him!

And as much as I love to dance, it gets so tiresome when I tell people and then I see that disapproving look in their eye so much of the time. Then if they are really bold they ask how I feel about dancing nearly naked in front of others! So I tell them I didn't know a naked midriff accounting for total nudity.

How come we don't hear this talk about hip hop?

Originally Posted by Fotia

How come we don't hear this talk about hip hop?

No offense . . . but can we not go there? I get really sick of seeing hip-hop bashing. Hoochies shaking their asses all over the place are no more hip-hop dancersthan 6-week wonders flailing about in airport specials are bellydancers.

Originally Posted by HubicRuzz

This must be a cultural difference thing. I don't get it.

Not cultural at all - it's universal. Just think about it for a little bit

Originally Posted by MakedaMaysa

No offense . . . but can we not go there? I get really sick of seeing hip-hop bashing. Hoochies shaking their asses all over the place are no more hip-hop dancersthan 6-week wonders flailing about in airport specials are bellydancers.

Sorry - you get my point. People take a beautiful dance form (and all dance forms are beautiful art) and then turn it into trash.

Originally Posted by MakedaMaysa

No offense . . . but can we not go there? I get really sick of seeing hip-hop bashing. Hoochies shaking their asses all over the place are no more hip-hop dancersthan 6-week wonders flailing about in airport specials are bellydancers.

I don't think she meant her question as a bashing of hip hop. I think it's just an observation of the different perspectives surrounding different dance forms. You don't hear people ask "Did you learn to hip hop for your man?"

Originally Posted by Samira_dncr

I don't think she meant her question as a bashing of hip hop. I think it's just an observation of the different perspectives surrounding different dance forms. You don't hear people ask "Did you learn to hip hop for your man?"

This

What kills me is some of these folks ask this after they've just seen us perform at a restaurant, cafe, etc. Seriously? Didn't you see the sign when you came in that said 'Gyro Palace Family Restaurant' or did they run out and change it to 'Hot Sexxxy Girls Girls Girls' during my veil number?

Originally Posted by Samira_dncr

I don't think she meant her question as a bashing of hip hop. I think it's just an observation of the different perspectives surrounding different dance forms. You don't hear people ask "Did you learn to hip hop for your man?"

I understand that. I just didn't want hip-hop to even enter the discussion, if possible, because that always goes south.

Heck, one of the many reasons I divorced my ex was that as soon as I took my first class he was "expecting" private shows and would NOT drop the subject.

Ick. lol

(Note, I dont have any hang-ups about dancing for your partner, but you certainly shouldnt be pressured to do so, especially when you are brand new and insecure about whether or not you are even doing it right! lol)

I get a laugh out of my classmates husband and boyfriends who hate being dragged to haflas. None of them get much enjoyment from it.

I'm single. So, I don't get that question but when I remark I'm single people say, "But you bellydance..."

Yeah, like hanging out in a class full of sweaty, crazy women in yoga pants will get me laid.

If I am in a serene mood, a simple "no" will suffice.

If I am willing to have a conversation, I say, why do you ask.

If I am in a "mood" my answer is to smile slowly, tilt my head to one side and say, you don't date much, do you?

During my first year in grad school, I did have someone sit in the counselors chair (with me as a client) and really push me about my issues with men. I take responsibility for introducing the subject. Finally, he looked at me and said, totally straight faced, well, we know that the only reason you;d learn to belly dance is to have power over men. My reply was, I have never consciously done ANYTHING to have power over men.

When it came to be his turn, we discovered that he was very triggered about female power and sexuality. No, really?

{{{HUGS}}}

Originally Posted by tahiradancer

During my first year in grad school, I did have someone sit in the counselors chair (with me as a client) and really push me about my issues with men. I take responsibility for introducing the subject. Finally, he looked at me and said, totally straight faced, well, we know that the only reason you;d learn to belly dance is to have power over men. My reply was, I have never consciously done ANYTHING to have power over men.

When it came to be his turn, we discovered that he was very triggered about female power and sexuality. No, really?

{{{HUGS}}}

Ugh! Is he there to heal himself, as they say?

Actually it was my hubby that wanted me to sign up for classes. I think just as much for my own self esteem as for his enjoyment. But either way, little did he know what he was getting into. 6 years later, lots of money for classes and costumes, troupe rehearsals, travel, stringing fringe I am sure there are more. HA!

Originally Posted by Kathiya

.... but i know the *only* thing he likes about is that it makes me happy lol

that's the only important thing ^_^ it sounds like you got a good one

Originally Posted by TexasRuya

What kills me is some of these folks ask this after they've just seen us perform at a restaurant, cafe, etc. Seriously? Didn't you see the sign when you came in that said 'Gyro Palace Family Restaurant' or did they run out and change it to 'Hot Sexxxy Girls Girls Girls' during my veil number?

..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,

Originally Posted by roguepen

I'm single. So, I don't get that question but when I remark I'm single people say, "But you bellydance..."

Yeah, like hanging out in a class full of sweaty, crazy women in yoga pants will get me laid.

i've had classmates say "why are we all single? WE'RE BELLYDANCERS!" it always comes from the ones with low self esteem.
although you did clue me into what i've been doing wrong that kept me single all these years! ^_~

Originally Posted by raqFariha

..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,



i've had classmates say "why are we all single? WE'RE BELLYDANCERS!" it always comes from the ones with low self esteem.
although you did clue me into what i've been doing wrong that kept me single all these years! ^_~

I'm single. I'm a bellydancer.


Its because I'm saving myself for Karim Nagi. ;) lol

I get this from women who want to sign up for my classes: "ooh, I'll take your class, then dance for my man!"

To which I usually reply "You can do whatever you want at home, but you will learn, in my class, that belly dancing is an art form, and you will learn about the music and the culture that it comes from, not how to seduce your man." I'm only that snarky with people i know. I usually don't get that from strangers who are interested. :)

Well, I actually started dancing to get over a man....so there ya go!

Originally Posted by yasmindiab

...

Its because I'm saving myself for Karim Nagi. ;) lol

...

LMAO! ..l;,..l;,..l;,

Originally Posted by TexasRuya

... 'Hot Sexxxy Girls Girls Girls' during my veil number?

This reminds me of something one of my dance instructors said:

"You have to say something THREE times to get a man's attention: 'GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! ALL NUDE! ALL NUDE! ALL NUDE!'" ..l;,..l;,

But more on topic, I was once in a class where a middle aged woman came in, wanting to learn a brief Belly Dance routine for her husband. She told me that she "needed to keep his interest..." I felt sorry for her.

Originally Posted by Qamar60

LMAO! ..l;,..l;,..l;,

tee hee!

Originally Posted by dancingstar

I haven't gotten this question, but if I did, I'd go with a simple "no." Oh, and:



Urban Dictionary: Booty clap

Oh my, I didn't realise that was humanly possible.

Originally Posted by Samira_dncr

I don't think she meant her question as a bashing of hip hop. I think it's just an observation of the different perspectives surrounding different dance forms. You don't hear people ask "Did you learn to hip hop for your man?"

...nope....but that doesn't mean that hip-hop dancers don't have to deal with a whole 'nother set of sexual assumptions and dumb#uck questions.

Originally Posted by yasmindiab

Its because I'm saving myself for Karim Nagi. ;) lol

You'll have to pry him from my cold, dead, zill-attached hands.,m::

..l;,

Originally Posted by artemisia_danst

i do make mine watch my new sets. usually i just get a "that's nice honey" ;-)

LOL same here.. poor guy. ..l;,

He also sings or hums along with the classics.. but made me promise to drag him to only one event a year.

Originally Posted by ejaghana

Well, I actually started dancing to get over a man....so there ya go!

Me too. And I don't have one right now. So who could I possibly be dancing for? MYSELF!!!

How about, "Actually, he learned to bellydance for me!"

I don't have a partner but I'm still surprised so many of yours aren't that interested! Or maybe they were till you guys set them straight, lol. I had a wanna-be-boyfriend who would keep asking me to dance for him after he found out I took classes (of course I never did) and I wouldn't be surprised if he'd come up with one of those comments from this thread. I don't think he necessarily thinks that's all BD is about, but he thinks it's part of it and it's the only part he cares about.

I think that most of us who have been single during our dancing careers tend to respond to any 'Phwoar, I bet you are a real goer' or 'Will you do a private dance for me?' crap as an automatic disqualification on any prospective mates.

One of the attractions for me of Mr Khadiya was that he was always 'Wow, so how does that relate to Islamic culture?' and 'How does the music work then?'. He is completely supportive of my dance (and an intelligent critic) but doesn't find it a turn-on and like many other dancers' partners on this thread rolls his eyes when he has to come and watch my new routine again, when he'd rather be watching the telly or playing Dawn of War.

I've never found the perfect respons to this question (not queen of the snappy come-back, me) but I've always found saying 'No', while looking bewildered about why anyone would ask, seems to do the trick.

Originally Posted by LeylaFahada

"How do you not feel stupid asking a question like that?"

Exactly! that was not even close the reason why I started.

Originally Posted by Khalilah

And hey, there is nothing wrong with the obvious - that there is a sensual side to this dance. It's just a weeeee bit obnoxious when someone thinks it's funny or original to point that out in the form of an incredibly personal question. I suppose the next time they go to the ballet they ask the Prima Ballerina if she began dancing to improve flexibilty for her husband.

Some audience members are just silly and ask silly questions. Again, I answer plainly "No" when asked this. Whether it's true or not. I think it's better to not feed into it - if they follow up with "Well why DID you start dancing?" (a very reasonable question), I will give them a mroe thoughtful and reasonable answer.

The above is true, I did not start dancing for my SO but after a few months I did "give him a show" and whether he like it or not is "forgotten".