Thread: "Did you learn bellydance to dance for your man?"

i hate the question too..no way did i learn to bellydance for that loser..I did it because I was intrigued by it

now I did take POLE dance and STRIPPER class to dance for my man but i keep bellydancing and dancing for 'man' separate

Well, you can always play to the stereotype and their worst fears and say "No, I learned bellydance for YOUR man".....XD

(BTW, I do not recommend this course of action with strangers or acquaintances, they might believe you!)

Originally Posted by DianaNour

Well, you can always play to the stereotype and their worst fears and say "No, I learned bellydance for YOUR man".....XD

(BTW, I do not recommend this course of action with strangers or acquaintances, they might believe you!)

..l;, Best comeback yet!

Or you learnt it while having an affair with Tiger Woods because he likes kinky stuff!

Originally Posted by DianaNour

Well, you can always play to the stereotype and their worst fears and say "No, I learned bellydance for YOUR man".....XD

(BTW, I do not recommend this course of action with strangers or acquaintances, they might believe you!)

..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,

Originally Posted by HubicRuzz

Or you learnt it while having an affair with Tiger Woods because he likes kinky stuff!

With the amount of mistresses he has, you never know!

Know what else I hate? Off subject, but...
"OOOOO! You belly dance? Show me!!!"
WTF do I look like?!? A circus freak? NO I will not show you here in Meijer...pay to take my classes, or hire me for a performance!!!

Originally Posted by harmoney76

Know what else I hate? Off subject, but...
"OOOOO! You belly dance? Show me!!!"
WTF do I look like?!? A circus freak? NO I will not show you here in Meijer...pay to take my classes, or hire me for a performance!!!

I only get this one from strangers... right before shows at art/Renaissance festivals when I'm in my cover-up. I tell them that we'll be performing at the Blah-Blah stage at X o'clock, but they want to see the show right now in front of the bathrooms.

Originally Posted by harmoney76

Know what else I hate? Off subject, but...
"OOOOO! You belly dance? Show me!!!"
WTF do I look like?!? A circus freak? NO I will not show you here in Meijer...pay to take my classes, or hire me for a performance!!!

in one of my classes we were doing an exercise where we were talking about things that frustrate us. mine was suzzy-nipple tassels so i had to explain that i'm a bellydancer and the undercutter(in rates and image) problem etc. one of my classmates, who is an older professional that's been getting her masters one class per semester, said "did you say ballet or belly?" i replied "belly" and did a few belly rolls, just being funny.
so a couple weeks later she turns to me after class and says "do that thing with your stomach" which i did, just because i was so confused by the request, and she laughed and said "oh that cracks me up".
thank you, im so happy that after a reflective listening exercise where i spelled out how much i love the art form and how frustrating it is to have people view it via those stereotypes that what you took away from it is "my classmate is a party trick robot" T_T

Re: "Can you make it clap"

Originally Posted by MakedaMaysa

I can . . . but I didn't learn it by bellydancing...g.:..l;,

Off-topic: HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! I'm dying to learn how to do that, and I just can't find a good non-porno explanation on you-tube (I haven't read the thread to see if you already revealed this, I got too excited)

Originally Posted by raqFariha

said "did you say ballet or belly?" i replied "belly"

Seriously, I have no idea how many times I have heard that very question! I wonder if dancers in other styles get reactions like the one you had, Fariha...and I'm never sure how people are going to react when I enunciate 'belly' for them.

Originally Posted by BreaMorgiane

Seriously, I have no idea how many times I have heard that very question! I wonder if dancers in other styles get reactions like the one you had, Fariha...and I'm never sure how people are going to react when I enunciate 'belly' for them.

I also get that every time...

Originally Posted by UmEnis

Re: "Can you make it clap"



Off-topic: HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! I'm dying to learn how to do that, and I just can't find a good non-porno explanation on you-tube (I haven't read the thread to see if you already revealed this, I got too excited)

It's going to be really hard to describe over the computer. It's easy for me, but maybe it's because I have a big booty...l;, Bend forward at the waist ... not in half, just enough to pooch your butt out. Feet hip-width apart, maybe a little wider. Plant your feet. Now, don't concentrate on your butt ... concentrate on your thighs. Move your legs so that your thighs are doing an in-out movement ... it's sort of like a shimmy, but instead of your thighs moving back and forth, they are moving in and out. (God, this is hard to explain.) If you're doing it right, your "cheeks" will go along for the ride and they will flap ... hence the "clapping."

Originally Posted by yameyameyame

I also get that every time...

Me, too. I forgot that I was in my Makeda Facebook account when I commented on a college picture. A guy I went to college with called me and said, "Um, there's a girl named Makeda on Facebook who looks just like you, only with less clothes and more make-up. Has your identity been stolen or are you schizophrenic?",r:; I explained to him that Makeda is my dance name and when he asked what kind of dance, I said "bellydance". To which he replied, "Ballet dance?" "Um, no. And who calls it that? If I meant 'ballet', I'd just have said 'ballet'. BELLY, man!"

Originally Posted by MakedaMaysa

"Um, no. And who calls it that? If I meant 'ballet', I'd just have said 'ballet'. BELLY, man!"

i know!!!!..c:: people are so not ready to hear "bellydance" that they seem to subconsciously twist speech conventions to suit their expectations! T_T,m::

you all crack me up, this is a great thread!

I can't quote her directly, but Aunt Rocky once said something along the lines of 'if I can't communicate what I want within (x amount of time- 30 seconds?) at the bar, it's not worth more effort than that. Why would I exert as much energy as I do to dance just to flirt?' very, very loosely paraphrased!

I started when I was 12, so short answer, no. during the first years of marriage, my husband mentioned a couple times that he hadn't seen me dance yet. This was back when we were in an itty bitty remote village & I had to practice on my own 'cause there weren't any other bders withing a 300 mile radius. So I decided to dance in the evenings when he got home from work. & he just sat there & read his National Geographics. after a while I asked why he never paid any attention. "Oh, I thought that was just practice- I didn't know you were dancing."

He faithfully attends shows & is supportive, but I know he'd be happier if I didn't dance 'cause he doesn't like crowds. I haven't gotten this question directly, but he has fielded it a few times and it really frustrates HIM. the whole nudge, nudge- so that's why you married her comment just infuriates him. But I think it's par for the course if you do anything in public. When reviewing dresses for a singing performance, there are a couple I tried on (long sleeve, long hemline, modest neckline but well fitting & sparkly fabric) & his comment was something like 'it's a beautiful dress, honey. & it's almost modest. As long as you don't move all.' The way many guys think about the feminine form still just baffles me at times & I will never ever understand, nor do I really want to understand, just exactly what turns certain people on.

Most of my students are hobbyists, & some do start classes (theoretically) for their partner- I don't have a problem with that, I just don't get it.

Originally Posted by MakedaMaysa

It's going to be really hard to describe over the computer. It's easy for me, but maybe it's because I have a big booty...l;, Bend forward at the waist ... not in half, just enough to pooch your butt out. Feet hip-width apart, maybe a little wider. Plant your feet. Now, don't concentrate on your butt ... concentrate on your thighs. Move your legs so that your thighs are doing an in-out movement ... it's sort of like a shimmy, but instead of your thighs moving back and forth, they are moving in and out. (God, this is hard to explain.) If you're doing it right, your "cheeks" will go along for the ride and they will flap ... hence the "clapping."

Ok, if I have to ask another one I'll PM you instead of keeping detouring this thread ;)

Just straight-linear in and out like a shimmy is just back and forth or more around from in to out in a curve? Sounds to easy to be true!

Would you believe that people I have known for over ten years have stopped communicating with me when they find out I bellydance? They looked at me like I'm standing there naked and found the fastest exit. Makes me wonder if they ever really knew me - it sure makes me realize that I never knew them.

Originally Posted by UmEnis

Ok, if I have to ask another one I'll PM you instead of keeping detouring this thread ;)

Just straight-linear in and out like a shimmy is just back and forth or more around from in to out in a curve? Sounds to easy to be true!

mIt's like your thighs are doing the "washing machine" move - like twisting in and out. I'n trying to think of a better way to describe it in writing, but I really kind of have to show you!

Originally Posted by Fotia

Would you believe that people I have known for over ten years have stopped communicating with me when they find out I bellydance? They looked at me like I'm standing there naked and found the fastest exit. Makes me wonder if they ever really knew me - it sure makes me realize that I never knew them.

indeed! you're better off without them!

Originally Posted by Fotia

Would you believe that people I have known for over ten years have stopped communicating with me when they find out I bellydance? They looked at me like I'm standing there naked and found the fastest exit. Makes me wonder if they ever really knew me - it sure makes me realize that I never knew them.

Don't feel bad. This is not abut you, it's about them and their judgments. And they would have to work too hard to realign those judgments. Most people would rather be right than happy. Their lose. And yes, I have had this happen as well. I just had a discussion with my Sgt. Mjr. Bro who spent 18 months in Iraq. All he can talk about is how harem belly dance is and how you won't see it in public, etc. Even in Cairo. I have quietly disputed this, but know that I haven't changed his mind.

{{{HUGS}}}

My now standard answer (thanks to my husband's reply once when asked the question): "No more than he paints walls & ceilings or builds cabinets & shelves for my pleasure."

What can I say? He doesn't like me in makeup. Won't kiss me if I have lipstick on. Won't hug me if I'm in costume (hey, the armour hurts to hug). Dislikes M.E. music (refers to it as that "ying yang" music). Occasionally sings that Algerian song that became the standard campy BD song (oh the girls in France, they don't wear no under pants...) when he's teasing me.

So you don't get the wrong impression: He unfailing assists me with any color choices - not just the costumes, but costumes on skin coloration (gives me pointers for the whole troupe sometimes). He's accurately critical of costumes and costume elements (knows his fabrics, heck, he also sews - just not for me). He's got a great artistic eye for many aspects of the dance. Also critiques the dance/performances. He serves as the foreman of my tech crew (comprised of husband, son, daughter, one of our best friends, and what ever others get pulled into putting on a show). He's my videographer/filmographer and post-production video editor. He's even taken up the tabla (though in all honesty, he was a main stream drummer to begin with).

What can I say? We're both lucky to have the other.

With a slight variation on that question: one day at work, the snooty administrative assistant to the company president and I had a conversation that went like this:

Snooty admin: Do you dance for your husband [snicker snicker]?
Me: Why, of course! He’s a very good dance critic, so when I have a new choreography that I’m trying out, he watches it and tells me what I need to work on.
Snooty admin: Oh [with a crestfallen look on her face like “That’s not the reaction I had hoped for”].

She never asked me about bellydancing again. ..g.:

Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

I know, but some people actually think this is true. Sad, I know. I recently met someone and he asked what I do and when I said I'm a bellydancer. I teach and perform. He said oh yeah, do women do that so they can dance for their men? I rolled my eyes and took a deep breathe and said NO. I'm not a stripper or exotic dancer. It's a fun, ancient dance form from the Middle East and it's good exercise. I could tell he was a little embarrassed for asking that.

Sigh, I just wish one day I could say that I'm a bellydancer without having to follow it up with an explanation, like I have to defend it.

Yes, some people are really ignorant! But the problem is that some women DO learn bellydance to dance for their men...
Once a girl came to my class (actually, she attended a few) and after a while she said she was getting married and she wanted to dance for her husband. I got surprised, because she was a good student, very graceful and with a great feeling for the music. I answered that for the purpose she wanted this was not the right study. I explained (once again) was bellydance was, but she was still saying she loved it and she found it very sensual. I said it was ok, but she had to distinguish the aim of her study: one thing is doing a fantasy (could be bellydance or not) for her husband (because everyone is free to do it), and another thing is studying to perform or just to learn this dance. I think she understood, but after her marriage she didn't come back to class.
She didn't want to be a dancer. She just wanted to dance for her husband and do it the best she could...