Thread: Charity or teaching for free?

Spinning off from the thread about undercutting & Yasmina Ramzy's article in GS (which I read the other day & is very good) & where teaching for free vs. charity was touched on, because this week I was asked if I'd possibly be willing to donate my time teaching - duration & frequency would be at my discretion.

It'd be for women with military spouses who have PTSD and/or other physical injuries, many of whom are awaiting medical discharge. Supporting wounded Vets is a cause I support and feel strongly about, because my husband is one and I know the caregiver mindset, very simply put: spouse comes first always & caregiver is last, always, in every way.

The idea behind it is to offer an opportunity for women to get away for one hour, even if only once a month, to have "me" time doing something for themselves. I would not receive pay for this at all. There is no budget or hidden money anywhere for it, just as there is no reimbursement or compensation for other people who chose to donate things such as concert tickets, excursions, restaurant meals, etc.

I do see this as a charity opportunity and would be willing to try it & see how things go. However, where does charity end and teaching for free territory begin? I see a chance to do something potentially good here, however I don't want the belly police coming for me, either.

If I do it, I'm caught between offering/donating: one or two lessons per month (for x number of months?) where whoever shows up can show up & jump in as their schedule allows (i.e., Sally cant make it this month but next month she can), or, a couple times per year donate a full 8wk beginner session & have them sign up ahead of time & then it's closed to everyone except just for those who signed up.

Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?

Active duty military spouse here (with a husband who is healthy and at home right now, thank goodness). I don’t really have advice regarding how the dance community and how they might view it, as I’m not a professional performer or professional teacher. But I really like the idea of this.

You ask:

However, where does charity end and teaching for free territory begin? I see a chance to do something potentially good here, however I don't want the belly police coming for me, either.

You’re not committing yourself to teaching for free continuously. If these women decide that they want to continue that one hour of “me” time, then obviously they will have to do so in a class that they pay for. I’m guessing these are classes offered on post. How many other teachers are able to teach belly dance classes on post? This class is meant to be offered only to a select group of women, not just anyone can walk in off the street and take it. Class participation is limited to those women who have sacrificed months of separation from their loved ones in service to our country and their loved ones were harmed in the process. From your description of the situation and the women it is meant to serve, it doesn’t seem likely that they would be contemplating taking belly dance classes otherwise.

On the other thread, Ravenadesigns said:

There is a teacher here in the DC that teaches in an area that is underprivileged. The ladies there would never be able to afford a true dance class, let alone any class. This amazing teacher volunteers her time to these ladies to give them the gift of dance. What she does is amazing for the community and the ladies there.

This is a similar situation IMO. Whether or not the women in your situation could monetarily afford a class, the caregiver role is likely to keep them from seeking out such classes because they are dedicated to the care of their loved ones (as well as any other obligations that might keep them from it). They might even feel guilty for taking time away UNLESS, there is a program in place that lets the caregivers of these wounded warriors know that it’s okay to take time out for themselves, that they deserve “me time,” and that the military supports their efforts to support their spouses by providing opportunities for them to take that time.

As for when/how often? I’m not sure what would work best. Once a month stretches the time between classes so far apart that the women might not recall much, but you might see a wider variety of women. I would be inclined to say once a week for eight weeks, but then if they are very busy they might not be able to make it every week. Every other week is still stretching time between classes, but may be easier for them to commit to (as well as have something to look forward to over a longer period of time.) There are pros and cons to scheduling situations, I guess.

Teaching for charity falls in the same category as performing for charity. It's at your discretion and as long as your not doing it for every Tom, Dick, and Pan-handler that asks, I see nothing wrong with it.

When does it stop being charity and start being undercutting? Since you're asking this question, you're already sensitive to the issues; I would guess the line gets crossed about the time you start feeling taken advantage of. If it's hurting you, it's probably also hurting the community.

Originally Posted by jenniona

Whether or not the women in your situation could monetarily afford a class, the caregiver role is likely to keep them from seeking out such classes because they are dedicated to the care of their loved ones (as well as any other obligations that might keep them from it). They might even feel guilty for taking time away UNLESS, there is a program in place that lets the caregivers of these wounded warriors know that it’s okay to take time out for themselves, that they deserve “me time,” and that the military supports their efforts to support their spouses by providing opportunities for them to take that time.

For someone who isn't a caretaker, you've hit the nail on the head exactly.

aazura, no, I'm not inclined to do gobs of charity work so no worries there. More talking is needed to iron out details but everything has pretty much been left to me as even though I was asked (by people I know, otherwise they wouldnt have asked) if I would consider it, it's still considered a donation & entirely on my terms. Coordinating with higher up the chain of command would still need to happen as well.

Thank you both for your input.

For someone who isn't a caretaker, you've hit the nail on the head exactly.

My grandmother cared for my bedridden grandfather for several years until he passed away. I can’t recall that she ever really took time out for herself during those years.

I totally agree with what Aazura said:

I would guess the line gets crossed about the time you start feeling taken advantage of. If it's hurting you, it's probably also hurting the community.

I think this is a good test of whether you are no longer providing a charitable service and are entering the realm of teaching for free.

Originally Posted by TexasRuya

I know the caregiver mindset, very simply put: spouse comes first always & caregiver is last, always, in every way. The idea behind it is to offer an opportunity for women to get away for one hour, even if only once a month, to have "me" time doing something for themselves.

If you suspect that your students won't be able to make it for several weeks out of eight then maybe a one-up approach would work better.

Perhaps a socializing - educational - dance class event once a month would suit. You could introduce them to music, genres, costumes plus do some dance instruction plus some follow-me, and fine tune it as it goes along.

It sounds like these students will land feeling frazzled and disoriented. A softer pace might be just the thing.

That would also allow you to gracefully disengage at the point you decide you cannot continue.