Thread: Being heckled by Middle Schoolers at Street Festival....Advice? (Sorry, rant!)

So, yesterday I belly danced at my first street festival (as a favor for my shop-owner friend.) Everything was going great--I was making decent tips, people were smiling and enjoying my performances, etc.

THEN, all of a sudden, these groups of middle school kids started showing up and watching me. First, they were asking me questions non-stop, like, "OMG, IS THAT SWORD REAL? HAVE YOU EVER CUT YOURSELF? IS THIS HOW YOU MAKE MONEY? DO YOU DO THIS FOR A LIVING?" I just kind of politely smiled, answered a couple of their questions with very brief answers, and continued with what I was doing. THEN, this group of attention-hungry middle school females started trying to mimic EVERY move that I did, with uproarious laughter and while constantly questioning me, "OMG, AM I DOING THIS RIGHT? TEACH ME, TEACH ME!" In a matter of seconds, I was positively SWARMED by middle school kids, all from the same school, boys and girls. They were heckling me, touching my things, yelling rude things at me, imitating my dance moves, pretending to take money from my tip basket, and scaring off all of the sensible folks that may have enjoyed my show or tipped me. I continuously had to stop what I was doing and tell them to back off, to step away from my stuff, to move along and go do something else, and they would--for about three seconds. Then, they'd be right back where they started, making my life difficult.

It finally just got so out of hand that I went berserk. I stopped what I was doing, paused my music, and shouted, "Okay, you guys, seriously, you can't be here anymore. PLEASE GO DO SOMETHING ELSE! You are being rude and disrespectful to me and everyone else out here, and I don't appreciate it! If you don't leave right now, I'm going to get the store owner, and she will call the police and have you escorted off the property! GO DO SOMETHING ELSE! LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE!" The kids looked at me with a mixture of hurt, annoyance, disdain, and smirks. FINALLY, they dispersed in various directions, looking for further amusement wherever they could find it.

I can honestly say, in all my years of belly dancing for crowds large and small, young and old, in a variety of settings, I have NEVER been treated with such blatant disrespect. I have NEVER had so many people, at ONE TIME, treating me so poorly and openly mocking me as I did my best to entertain the masses. WHO DO THESE KIDS THINK THEY ARE? Where do these kids get off thinking that it's okay, nay, encouraged, to heckle, mock, annoy, and aggravate an adult?

LOL, sorry, I guess I just had to get that off my chest! Have any of you ladies dealt with a similar situation? How do you deal with hecklers, especially hecklers who are CHILDREN? I'd love to hear some advice....I'm tempted to not return to the street festival next month just because of this....

My band and several dancers once did a show at a local festival in a park and we had middle-school-aged hecklers, but not as bad as you are describing. We still refer to it as the gig from hell, but there were other factors besides the hecklers that made it a bad gig.

The positive side - a young teenager who was in the audience became a student of one of our dancers and now has an international dance career! And a man who lived nearby came running out of his house when he heard our music, to tell us how much he loved it.

I think you handled it fine, they were completely out of line and with so many of them, what a pain in the a**.

You don't have to be dancing to deal with kids like this- and yes, it seems to be more pervasive than it was a few years ago. How is the festival organized? For street fairs I've been in (where the downtown assoc. or something similar was organizing it) there was always someone I would feel comfortable with backing me up- not so much security, but at least an authority who could call security if necessary. shop owner, in this case?

I think you did great, especially if they actually heeded you & left! I would have left out the please & told them I would report them for harassment & theft.

Oh my goodness. I really feel for you right now. Kids can be such a-holes when they are trying to impress their friends. I honestly think that some of those girls really did want to know the answers to their questions but weren't sure how the others in the group felt about them asking you. Thus, they went about it all wrong and at 'your' expense. So sorry you had to deal with that situation and big hugs to you!

Welcome to the world of Junior High Schoolers, or Middle Schoolers, as some say. Kids are cruel, especially en masse. I was the victim of much teasing (not a strong enough word, IMO), heckling, and bullying then, and It's hard to say if one can ever fully recover from the emotional scars that sort of scene can leave. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I would have stopped dancing/stopped the music and told them they needed to move back and watch the show and then at that time I would answer questions - when I was finished. And if they tried to be smart asses and didn't leave me alone I would have just walked off. end of show. I just don't take stuff like that anymore.

Kids are real jerks... sorry you had to experience this :(

Next time maybe try to alert someone who is working at the festival before your performance and ask them to keep an eye on the crowd for this sort of thing.

I do a lot of wedding shows, and my biggest pet peeve are little kids running around the dance floor and the parents doing nothing OR even encouraging it (I'm talking about during an entrance with Veil or Shamadan, not the actual audience participation part). Its happened enough times that now I just take control - I swoop at the children with my veil and tell them they need to sit down, or I take their hands and drag them over to an adult/the parent. It takes about 20 seconds, but then I have control over the show again and the audience knows I'm a professional artist, not a circus monkey.

I'm so sorry! Middle schoolers can be awful. I recommend next time you alert someone in chagre before you perform. Explain what happened before and find someone who looks intimdating there to tell them to leave.

Oh, wow, ladies! Thank you for your informative and heartfelt responses!

Dunyah- Girl, I am so sorry! That DOES sound like the "gig from hell!" It's amazing that the little brats managed to heckle OVER the sound of the band! What little jerks! I'm glad that there were some VERY positive parts to the experience, though! Thank goodness for nice, polite people, eh?

Lara- Thank you, and yes, I agree--next time, I need to make sure that both the shop owners/employees as well as a the security are aware of what problems may arise, so that they may deal with them accordingly. I believe, also, that in that particular county, anyone under the age of 16 is not allowed to be out and about later than 9:00 PM. I need to point that out to security as well! I'll definitely contact the "powers that be" of the festival and make them aware of the problem, ESPECIALLY because I talked to a flute player down the street who was
annoyed and heckled by the same kids! This needs to stop!

Azaleah- I agree, chica! And I'm sure that some of those kids (the girls in particular) would be perfectly fine one-on-one, but you're right--once they get that "pack mentality" and feel the need to outdo one another in assclown-ery, things can get out of hand really quick. At least now I know exactly what to expect, and have a good idea how I can deal with little brats in the future!

Nabila and KelsNasim- Thanks for responding, ladies! You're absolutely right in that middle school kids are holy terrors! A friend of my family has been a teacher/substitute teacher for 50 years, and one day he had to come down HARD on a middle school boy who was being super disruptive and disrespectful. The boy went from haughty to close-to-tears in a split second, and demanded to know why the sub "didn't like him." Our family friend looked at him, serious as a heart attack, and said, "You are the lowest form of life that I have to deal with on a daily basis." He was being party facetious...but only partly!

Melly- Girl, I HEAR you on that one! I cannot tell you how many times I've had little kids FOLLOW me around in restaurants when I've got something dangerous on my head, while the parents just chat it up OR think it's funny/cute! One little girl actually followed me AND would grab ahold of the fringe on my belt and tug at it! A female customer of no relation to this little girl grabbed her arm, loudly scolded her, and sent her crying back to her parents. THANK GOD for people who still believe in disciplining children! "It takes a village", eh?

Also, I love the whole veil swooping at the kids! I will SOOO use that in the future!

LOL, circus monkey! Perfect analogy!

Hey, I know exactly where your coming from.

So this is what you do:
Find the longest thinnest child, pick them up from the hands, and start swinging the kid around in a circle so that their feet will slap the faces of their comrads.

.w.: Did I just say that?

Anyway, I was performing at an outside festival and two teens in the front row quite audibly picked on my weight. I just kept on thinking that when they turn middle aged there likely to be twice my size and I'm going to be the softly toned, gorgeously voluptuous dancer with confidence.,r:; They were probably doing it because I was almost as young as they were.
At the same event on my second number a father carrying his toddler while talking on his cell decided that THE SPACE WHERE THE DANCERS WERE would be the BEST spot to pace while he chats( we had the street to perform in). I swear, if he wasn't carry his kid I would have gone after him with my Isis wings!..l;,

Originally Posted by DarkestDesert

At the same event on my second number a father carrying his toddler while talking on his cell decided that THE SPACE WHERE THE DANCERS WERE would be the BEST spot to pace while he chats( we had the street to perform in). I swear, if he wasn't carry his kid I would have gone after him with my Isis wings!..l;,

I can't even begin to tell you how much this peeves me. I've just plowed into people (without kids, of course) and then said (... gosh, I'm EVIL!) "oh sorry!" I recently had to tell someone to get out of my performance space as it was a safety issue. I was doing a really athletic style of dancing with a lot of kicks, spins, and head-swinging movements while playing loud clangy zills, but this person was just plain unaware of her surroundings and was miffed that I told her to get off the stage.

Don't be on the street alone. Always have an escort / friend. This is not the only unpleasant thing that can happen, and kids are not the only unpleasant people who may decide to make your show THEIR show. IMO.

I work with middle school kids and dance! Welcome to my world. But just a note - they probably loved watching you and didn't want to say!

Kids need to be beat more. A lot of parents do too.

For starters, when you do street fairs, it's always a good idea to have someone with you because you never know what may come your way (crazy drunks, animals who think your costume is a sparkly toy, whatever). Having an additional body to run interference and help keep the crowd in line is invaluable--bonus points if your additional body looks like he could be moonlighting from his regular job as a nightclub bouncer, but even if your companion is less imposing, no crowd of kids want to see you stage whisper for your assistant to call the police to disperse the troublemakers.

I am sorry this happened to you. There isn't much worse than bratty, bullying kids, but I am going to disagree with the others and say that they got the better of you this time. Their goal was to upset you, and they pushed you to the point where you stopped your show, lost your composure, and yelled at them. I'd even go so far as to speculate that some of them may have been disappointed that they weren't able to make you cry (e.g., the smirking ones). They're the ones who may not feel any remorse for the way they behaved yesterday until years from now, and maybe not even then. Some people are unbelievable, immature jerks their whole lives.

If you are working with an unpredictable crowd it is helpful to have a backup plan, and preferably one that embarrasses them into submission. When they were taunting you to teach them, why didn't you? Why didn't you stop the show right then, pull a few of them in front of the crowd and ask them to do something you know takes hours of practice to learn? Maybe that would have been a good time to grab the ringleader by the hand and teach a little debke. Or you could have pulled a diva, refused to continue dancing, and held an impromptu Q&A. The point is to keep the situation on your terms, not theirs, and to float placidly above their nonsense. If they sense your weakness, they will only keep pushing to see how much they can upset you. I know--easy to say, hard to do in the moment.

What's up with kids these days??? Back when my peers and I were in middle school, we were a group of well behaved kids who wouldn't dream of doing something like this...and this was around ten years ago.

Originally Posted by marsbar

What's up with kids these days??? Back when my peers and I were in middle school, we were a group of well behaved kids who wouldn't dream of doing something like this...and this was around ten years ago.

Yeah - this upsets me.

My "company" and I used to perform at City events all over the place including really poor neighborhoods and really upscale neighborhoods and we were always treated well regardless.

People got into the act sometimes but it wasn't meant to put us down - rather they wanted to dance too, which is great.

Occasionally one runs into individual jerks but this actually sounds scary...c::

As a frequent performer in Artwalk/Streetfair events, I think I've seen it all. Last year, I DID actually have a group of middle school kids come by - and they were watching intently, a few giggles...

Realize too I am a parent of a middle schooler. I will tell you it wouldn't even occur to her to act like that, even if with friends. Not ALL of them are bad. I think the sensuality of belly dance just makes kids that age nervous - they're in puberty and they don't know how to process it. It comes out as nervous giggles.

In my case, I did what Tourbeau suggested as a back up plan. I was readily armed with veils and scarves and started handing them out. You should have seen these girls eyes light up! Even one of the boys was wearing a scarf (much to the amusement of the girls!) I had them all shimmying and a few doing snake arms, and I was very encouraging. Yes, there were some giggly moments - but they clearly were having fun, and a few girls were doing really good for a first try.

It seems like your little group was wanting attention. I'd have turned it back to them on the 'imitations.' I might have gone up to the ringleader and said "Here YOU try this." And put the sword on her head and monitor. That shuts em up! Then you ask her to try to add a few basic movements and encourage her. Her friends will giggle, and you encourage them to try it.

I know-it won't work all the time and some kids these days are not pleasant no matter what.

I am always hoping someone's little bellydance fire was lit because I took a moment out to shift gears and show them something I love to do. If the ten of them walked off laughing, hey I tried, but if the eleventh girl walked home thinking "When I grow up, I want to be a bellydancer."

Then a teacher might have a future student or the world might see a new little star. I will always hope for that. :)

Originally Posted by Nabila-Nazem

I can't even begin to tell you how much this peeves me. I've just plowed into people (without kids, of course) and then said (... gosh, I'm EVIL!) "oh sorry!" I recently had to tell someone to get out of my performance space as it was a safety issue. I was doing a really athletic style of dancing with a lot of kicks, spins, and head-swinging movements while playing loud clangy zills, but this person was just plain unaware of her surroundings and was miffed that I told her to get off the stage.

hahaha YES this too! I've done the same thing... some people are just plain rude and need a good smack to wake them up :P

Wow! What a PITA!! Yes, this is where a gig assistant comes in handy. Especially a 6'5" tall assistant with sunglasses and arm folded over his chest, glaring down at the offending audience members. With a coil in his ear. ;)

Originally Posted by PassionWarfare

Melly- Girl, I HEAR you on that one! I cannot tell you how many times I've had little kids FOLLOW me around in restaurants when I've got something dangerous on my head, while the parents just chat it up OR think it's funny/cute! One little girl actually followed me AND would grab ahold of the fringe on my belt and tug at it! A female customer of no relation to this little girl grabbed her arm, loudly scolded her, and sent her crying back to her parents. THANK GOD for people who still believe in disciplining children! "It takes a village", eh?

Also, I love the whole veil swooping at the kids! I will SOOO use that in the future!

LOL, circus monkey! Perfect analogy!

Hahaha!

yup, just swoop at them like a mama bird bringing her babies back to the nest (a.k.a the irresponsible parents!)

I am always shocked these days when parents don't discipline their children for rude or inappropriate behavior. It baffles me really...

The advice of including them in the act, I think is great! They want attention, fine. Put them in the spotlight....it changes the young bullies attitude quick. Do NOT show fear or that they're bothering you! Once you do, they'll pounce and never let up. They can be animals!!!! Most kids will be fine,but there's always one or two that stupid jerks. I know. I've been so involved with my kids classes and friends. But I'm honest with them and I've gotten in a few faces....but I'm the mom they come to....I punish/correct,because I CARE!

I'm surprised the fair didn't have some sort of security....but yes, I would have a man be your protector.

AND YOU BETTER GO BACK!.p:: That way the kids know that YOU won, not them.....
Love!

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

Wow! What a PITA!! Yes, this is where a gig assistant comes in handy. Especially a 6'5" tall assistant with sunglasses and arm folded over his chest, glaring down at the offending audience members. With a coil in his ear. ;)

Or if you're Jim Boz.

Or you're with a friend who is channeling her Inner Hag.

Originally Posted by dunyah

My band and several dancers once did a show at a local festival in a park and we had middle-school-aged hecklers, but not as bad as you are describing. We still refer to it as the gig from hell, but there were other factors besides the hecklers that made it a bad gig.

The positive side - a young teenager who was in the audience became a student of one of our dancers and now has an international dance career! And a man who lived nearby came running out of his house when he heard our music, to tell us how much he loved it.

I think you handled it fine, they were completely out of line and with so many of them, what a pain in the a**.

Oh lord, I remember that- totally the gig from hell for you guys!

This is terrible! I once had to supervise (i.e. babysit) middle school students at a basketball game. Apparently the parents in my community just drop their children off for 2 back-to-back basketball games and let them run free. Middle school age students can be horrible when allowed to roam in packs without parental supervision. Then again, many of them behave terribly when their parents are around anyway.

Passionwarfare, I still bear the scars of being a middle school outcast always on the run from the narcissistic jerks that were my peer group , so I am sorry the little runts did that to you. Probably one on one, they are not too bad (although you do get the "lost boy" types that never grow up, girls and boys alike) but packs ... augh. They remind me of nature shows about hyenas. The humor is about the same too. ,f::

Zorba, I do agree with you about the parents.., and beating of same. Some of them...argh. Even in a doctor's office, where I work, they will let lil' timmy jr. run unguided, turning up the radio to as high as it will go "oh look, lil tim is dancing, so cute" - not so much for the poor staff who can't hear a blessed thing), harassing other patients, sitting directly in front of the main door (which is solid, so people coming in do assume - no one is going to be behind it - more than one child has gotten smacked already by a swinging door...), running into another doctor's office to "visit", upsetting big shiny trays of glass ware, heading straight for the jolly looking yellow sharps container - drives me nuts to see the parents with backs turned, expecting me to babysit while they text or whatever. Funny, some of these women bring a friend to watch lil' timmy, and she is about as useful as a chocolate tea pot too, sigh. The problem with calling them on it, too, is then they go into the doc's office all teary and complain about "Your horrible staff who hate children" so all you can do is damage control, sigh.

People getting in the way - we were dancing in a very small space (a rehearsal, first real time in front of an audience). We weren't used to a small space, but made due. One young lady (who was the exception to the rule about rotten little mid schoolers, very nice girl) had someone decide to walk behind her - again, the space was the size of a postage stamp, we as a group were cutting our steps like mad to compensate, but momentum is a hard thing to ignore. She warned the woman, I do turns and I may end up hitting you if you do not keep clear. The woman did not take her seriously - until she was smacked in the face by accident. Well, she was warned... <insert evil laugh icon. We need an evil laugh icon...>

kids...sigh. I'm sorry this happend to you.

Originally Posted by quamar

Passionwarfare, I still bear the scars of being a middle school outcast always on the run from the narcissistic jerks that were my peer group , so I am sorry the little runts did that to you. Probably one on one, they are not too bad (although you do get the "lost boy" types that never grow up, girls and boys alike) but packs ... augh. They remind me of nature shows about hyenas. The humor is about the same too. ,f::

Zorba, I do agree with you about the parents.., and beating of same. Some of them...argh. Even in a doctor's office, where I work, they will let lil' timmy jr. run unguided, turning up the radio to as high as it will go "oh look, lil tim is dancing, so cute" - not so much for the poor staff who can't hear a blessed thing), harassing other patients, sitting directly in front of the main door (which is solid, so people coming in do assume - no one is going to be behind it - more than one child has gotten smacked already by a swinging door...), running into another doctor's office to "visit", upsetting big shiny trays of glass ware, heading straight for the jolly looking yellow sharps container - drives me nuts to see the parents with backs turned, expecting me to babysit while they text or whatever. Funny, some of these women bring a friend to watch lil' timmy, and she is about as useful as a chocolate tea pot too, sigh. The problem with calling them on it, too, is then they go into the doc's office all teary and complain about "Your horrible staff who hate children" so all you can do is damage control, sigh.

I hope your doctor understands Quamar! I agree with Zorba about both parents and kids! Sadly I know a few people who fit the parent profile. Including one couple who let their children swing on the curtains at a restaurant. Told my husband I'd never go out with them again! I wanted to tell the wife if you can't take care of them, you shouldn't have them.

But yes Passionwarfare, you should go back next month! Take re-enforcements with you this time! ..l;,

Originally Posted by zorba

Kids need to be beat more. A lot of parents do too.

Uh-huh. Yup.