Thread: What do you make of this writeup? Tone?

I'm very happy to be participating in the Shimmy 4 Critters event this Sunday. This new writeup has me questioning the tone of the author. It seems condescending and dismissive of all the hard work the organizers have put into trying to help the animal shelter. What do you think?

Daily Dose - Gay marriage student lawsuit, belly dancing for animals and Sasha Baron Cohen takes on Freddie Mercury | 89.3 KPCC
Is this worthy of contacting Alex Cohen re: tone and respect? WWBD?

OK, I couldn't wait. This is what I wrote to the author:

ATTN: ALEX COHEN

Thank you for your coverage of our upcoming Shimmy 4 Critters event.
Daily Dose - Gay marriage student lawsuit, belly dancing for animals and Sasha Baron Cohen takes on Freddie Mercury | 89.3 KPCC

I am concerned about the tone in which your coverage was written. Belly dance is a cultural art form. I have always believed your organization to be sensitive and respectful of the arts of every nation. However, the use of the term "shaking their thang" seems demeaning, pejorative and uncomplimentary at best.

I have studied for 18 year to perfect my craft. I have been honored with many competition awards, international teaching tours and command performances for royal families of the Middle East. I have held teaching positions at accredited colleges, teaching belly dance. These are not achievements that can be accomplished merely by shaking one's "thang".

I'd like to invite you to attend Shimmy 4 Critters. Perhaps you can see past your preconceptions and enjoy some art.

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

OK, I couldn't wait. This is what I wrote to the author:

ATTN: ALEX COHEN

Thank you for your coverage of our upcoming Shimmy 4 Critters event.
Daily Dose - Gay marriage student lawsuit, belly dancing for animals and Sasha Baron Cohen takes on Freddie Mercury | 89.3 KPCC

I am concerned about the tone in which your coverage was written. Belly dance is a cultural art form. I have always believed your organization to be sensitive and respectful of the arts of every nation. However, the use of the term "shaking their thang" seems demeaning, pejorative and uncomplimentary at best.

I have studied for 18 year to perfect my craft. I have been honored with many competition awards, international teaching tours and command performances for royal families of the Middle East. I have held teaching positions at accredited colleges, teaching belly dance. These are not achievements that can be accomplished merely by shaking one's "thang".

I'd like to invite you to attend Shimmy 4 Critters. Perhaps you can see past your preconceptions and enjoy some art.

I would not send it. If you do send it, change "term" to "phrase" in the second paragraph, and "year" to "years" in the third paragraph.

Maybe a softer message would be better, highlighting your accomplishments and years of study without calling him out so sharply?

Honestly, I would not send the last sentence as is, unless you know all 3 dozen dancers well, and know that they will be presenting our art form in its best light possible. The last thing you need is for someone to do a negative write-up after the fact.

I don't think it is condescending or dismissive. I think they have tried to present it in a lighthearted manner, as they have with all three briefs. I cringe at "shaking their thang" and would have changed it if I'd gotten hold of it, but most people would not. That's the only part of it that is kind of naff to me. They're upfront about what it is and what it's for.

You called the event Shimmy 4 Critters. So you used the term "shimmy" (which most people would translate as "shaking their thang"), the numeral 4 instead of a word, and "critters" which is like a sort of baby-talk, folksy cutesy word for animals.

You didn't call it An Evening of Raqs Sharqi for the Benefit of Animals Rendered Homeless. You didn't sell it as a serious art form. You sold it as cutesy shaking. What do you expect?

Typical. The writer decided to try to make the article more interesting by inserting some slang. On the premise of 'you get more of what you pay attention to' I'd write a letter thanking the writer for including the fact that you are an award-winning dancer in the article and that you hope that her article both aids the charity and helps improve public perception of your chosen art form.

Scolding him/her about her wording might make her reluctant to cover another belly dance event in the future.

You also get what you pay for. That's a free advertisement and a lot of equally worthy events did not get that slot. If you want to control the wording of an ad, you need to pay for it.

Its not my event. I didn't name it. I was just "underwhelmed" by the "shaking their thang" comment.

It makes me sad that the author poked fun at the event, which is a group of local artists trying to help the animals. The producers have worked very hard on this event and we are all hoping it will be framed in a positive light and raise the necessary money.

It also makes me sad that yet another author thought the best they could do is write about bellydance in the lowest common denominator of stereotypes. No good deed goes unpunished I guess.

What did I expect? Nothing. I didn't do the publicity.
What did I hope? That the event would be written about in a respectful manner.

Apart from "shaking their thang", what's disrespectful about it? I seriously want to know. I see no poking fun. At all. Lowest common denominator? Where? Where's "belly dancers will be whoring it up for their sultans"?

And I reiterate, if people give their events cutesy silly names they can't expect the GP to respond to them as anything else. It's one thing marketing to BDers. It's another thing marketing to the GP.

Zumarrad: I hear what you are saying and understand your points. I'm just going to agree to disagree on how we see this one.

When I first read it, I thought it sounded like the author was talking to a radio audience, and was trying to add personality to the ad.
I just went back and re-read it, and noticed it WAS from a radio site.

It did read a bit condesending, but if you think about listening to this on a radio, he/she might grab more of the audiences attention.

I hope the event raises a lot of money, and everyone has a good time.

I wish I could go!!!
(((Hugs)))

I agree with Zum..this is the attitude of many of the GP..a lighthearted one. It's not that offensive just frivolous and expectant of a fun event. You can't expect everyone to be serious about forms of entertainment of any kind. I'd go with a good heart, dance your socks off and know you are performing for a good cause.
You know if you put a serious arty slant on the event and you may get less support.

Yes, I think that was harmless, and no harm intended on the writer's part. You just never know what you'll get from newspaper writers - they're under deadline & don't second guess anything. You're lucky if they get the info right! Don't take him to task on it, in fact I'd write & thank them for including it.

I think it reads like an example of why humor doesn't always come across in writing. The whole piece is a lame attempt to be sarcastically hip. This is one case where I'm not entirely convinced that if we compared ourselves to ballet, we might not get an even treatment. I could see him writing, "Gotta love this one--Ballet dancers will be tiptoein' in tutus for terriers!"

I'm afraid someone like this (and his editors) would find the strident response you're proposing as evidence of how self-serious and out of touch with the public's perception we are, and we don't need more snark from this clown the next time an event requiring their publicity rolls around. Personally, I'd say this calls for a softer touch, and if you want to invite someone to enlighten the public, I'd suggest finding a better target than this guy, because I'm not sure he's capable of, or has any intention of, taking us (or anyone else) seriously. Surely there must be a reporter who covers arts or human interest stories who has their head on a littler straighter.

The opening line, "Gotta love this one--belly dancing for homeless animals!" is kind of rude, but I am not offended by "shaking their thang", because that's a fairly accurate description of what's going on when I do a hip shimmy, and "shimmy" is right there in the name.

If it were my event, I would hope it was covered in a lighthearted & entertaining way. After all, it's called "Shimmy 4 Critters", not "Tarab: an Exploration of Middle Eastern Dance and Culture".

The writer is just being smug. I wouldn't worry about it. At least you guys got a write up! That in itself is a victory.
You never know what the media will say.
My annual Xmas with Bessie show which is a huge deal every year in LA got pick of the week in the LA weekly. It's a blues event celebrating the life of Bessie Smith and this is what the dude at the LA Weekly wrote:
"Hate kids and don’t give a crap about their future? Same with blues/jazz legend Bessie Smith. Not really, but you can still enjoy Christmas With Bessie. A variety of spelunking musicians, pay tribute to Smith in a “modern vaudeville” atmosphere (I think that means there will be arty types people there)."

What the hell does that mean? Hating kids? Spelunking musicians? It has absolutely NOTHING to do with our press release and suggests that we are lost in a cave.
Weird, weird, weird weird.
Don't take it personally.
Your writer at SoCal public radio seems to think a little too highly of his quirky writing skills.

i think it sounds like they think only crack pots are in the event...

There is a lot to signal a fun, lighthearted tone in this blurb.

I know that "shake their thang" is not very elegant, but it's meant to be playful. The writer tried to make the event sound fun, but he meant no disrespect. That doesn't mean you have to like it, but it does change things.

I'm sure he has no idea just how much work we put into this, just like the amount of work performers put into their arts was unknown to me until I started dancing.

Also, he takes a serious turn in the end: "Animal Services has been hard hit by county budget cuts. Several cities dropped contracts with the department earlier this year over frustrations with increasing fees and service." That signals that he's treating this event as something more than frivolous.

I say send a thank you note to the author. Thank him for the writeup, tell him about your training and hard work in an informative way, and then invite him to come learn a few moves at the event.

Maybe he'll write a follow up that conveys a message closer to your vision.

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

What did I expect? Nothing. I didn't do the publicity.
What did I hope? That the event would be written about in a respectful manner.

A thread about publicity that DID touch all the bases would be a very short thread :)

We had a thread on Tribe about this. Sometimes no help is preferable... - The Biz of Belly Dance - tribe.net . Anthea I think won the 'most odd interview' award -- there was no interview at all!

As a member of the filthy Fifth I should stay out of this, but it cracks me up that all these belly dancers are sneering dismissively at how bad they think the writing is, and making assumptions about who the writer is and what he/she knows, when they clearly have *no idea* about the processes involved, how many people might have been involved in the production of those three briefs, how tight the deadlines were, whether s/he even wrote those exact words, and so on and so forth.

Think about that next time someone says "hur hur belly dance I got the belly for it shake shake wiggle". Because EVERYONE's a journalist, right. ANYONE can do it, right? It takes no training, no commitment, no thought, no skill, no passion, and no, they don't care at all if their audience doesn't get them or a piece falls flat.

There are some appalling writers out there, I know, I sub them. But give them some credit - most of them are JUST as professional and JUST as misunderstood as you, and they don't get to wear pretty costumes.

I understand that belly dancers - and people holding cake stalls, and librarians, and Rotarians and glee clubs and philatelists - get upset because the thing they love more than anything in the world doesn't get the weight they think it deserves in a piece of free advertising. But it's free.

I apologise for my grumpy "tone" - there's been a lot going on.
But I do get so tired of my profession being denigrated, and it frustrates me when people who do a misunderstood dance form unleash the same kind of unthinking negativity towards us as they complain about receiving themselves.

I've been working alongside people whose homes are sunk in mud who've put getting the news out to their community ahead of their own wellbeing. People who aren't sleeping, people with stressed families etc who have been out there getting information to people.

Just tonight my colleague was saying that once in his career, just once - and it was the middle of the night, when normal people are asleep - he got on the phone and used the words "stop the presses", and that was September 12 2001, September 11 to most of you, so that people got the news of something very important in the world. People got out of bed and raced into work to put out a special edition. They didn't lie there going "oh well, who cares", and they didn't do that on September 4 either. They got the stories and they made sure everyone else did too.

[QUOTE=zumarrad;752548]I apologise for my grumpy "tone" - there's been a lot going on.


I've been working alongside people whose homes are sunk in mud who've put getting the news out to their community ahead of their own wellbeing. People who aren't sleeping, people with stressed families etc who have been out there getting information to people.

How are things down under? I'm afraid the Pope's visit has rather eclipsed the news of disasters around the world at the moment. Hope things are slowly getting better.

It's actually pretty good - the aftershocks are abating, and I'm lucky because I sleep through them at night anyway, but there are a lot of people whose homes are severely damaged or destroyed, a lot of people I know who are still in limbo. Some have very stressed kids. One friend is sad because her newfound bossa nova accompanist is moving back to Brazil because of this. A lot of our favourite buildings are coming down. Most of the fallout is emotional at this point, and financial obviously. But nobody died, and we're all really grateful for that.

Originally Posted by zumarrad

I apologise for my grumpy "tone" - there's been a lot going on.
But I do get so tired of my profession being denigrated, and it frustrates me when people who do a misunderstood dance form unleash the same kind of unthinking negativity towards us as they complain about receiving themselves.

You are not being grumpy, you are being opinionated :) However, as you have said, it IS free publicity

Originally Posted by maurazebra

You are not being grumpy, you are being opinionated :) However, as you have said, it IS free publicity

Hmm, I'm not sure opinionated is better than grumpy!

I do think the tone was smug and condescending. The "Gotta love this one," combined with the "Shake their thang" and the "so-called" all added up to a literary smirk, to me.

The second and third paragraphs seemed very nice to me. It was a strange shift of tone from the first paragraph.

Originally Posted by maurazebra

You are not being grumpy, you are being opinionated :) However, as you have said, it IS free publicity

Maurazebra, please don't tell me how I feel. You don't know how I feel and if I say I am grumpy - and I have reason to be - then I am grumpy.

I have to agree that this is great free publicity and not offensive, it's typical for mainstream media coverage. This blurb will help, not hurt your event. I wish they hadn't said "shake their thang" but that's the only part that is questionable, the rest is straightforward information about the event. If you would like to invite the reporter, that's fine, but I don't think you should reprimand him or her. Be happy that your event got mentioned.

I cringe at phrases like that -- of course ("shake your thang, etc." )-- but there is so much suffering that animals are going through that I would let this one go just to get the funds rolling in to help our beloved "critters". Bottom line, at least in this situation, is getting the funds rollling in. And most people, I think, would open their (increasingly lighter) wallets more if they perceived an event as light-hearted and fun. I honestly feel as though I love animals more than most people, lol -- human behavior puzzles me on a daily basis -- however, I think that being too defensive, sensitive, or "activist" hurts most causes. Might be best to just say, "well, at least we got the publicity we needed in order to raise funds for a really good cause." (Really using the "pick your battles" argument here. There are other situations in which, of course, phrasing like this should not be tolerated, e.g., "Dancer X will be performing at Y Restaurant tonight. Come and see her "shake her thang." Free or not, I wouldn't want that publicity!

Originally Posted by zumarrad

Maurazebra, please don't tell me how I feel. You don't know how I feel and if I say I am grumpy - and I have reason to be - then I am grumpy.

My sincere apologies. You are absolutely right. I should have said: I do not perceive you being grumpy; your observations appear to be very reasonable; and kept it on MY side of the perceptional fence.

at my 20th high school reunion i danced. a school mate who was a stand up comic announced i was coming out and "skaking my ass all over the dance floor".next a school mate who had become a minister said i was coming out with the comics head on a platter. yeah, i guess we got to take what we get sometimes with a lighter look.