Thread: My First Restuarant Gig- A Bust! Need Advice...

It's Friday morning and I'm at work, cheffing if up, as we chefs do. I get a text message from a local dancer I've seen at a couple places (never at any hafla's though, strange enough...)
Anyhow, the message says: Are you available tonight? I need a replacement dancer at Acropolis in Ybor. 120$ plus tips. Two shows one at 8:30 one at 10:30. Please, it would really help me out!
So I call. We chat. I ask how the place is, what's the band like, ect.
She says "It's really laid back..."
So I agree, sounds cool. I've done birthday parties, a wedding, a ton of haflas, and a couple staged shows, so I think I'm ready for a restuarant. I call the place, talk to the manager, confirm all the details. The manager seemed really nice...

I'm not sure what went wrong. I walk into the place (which is packed btw) costume suitcase in tow, feeling jitterish and excited. Smiling, I greet the host, who call the manager over. With a stern look, he says follow me. Leads me into the office, where he sits down (a small filthy office), and proceeds to interview me, totally knocking me off my guard. This is the same manager I spoke to on the phone. "How long you been dancing" "About 3 years" "Where you dance before" "Parties, Functions, Hafla's in St. Pete. My troupe often performs across the street, at the Intl. Bazaar" "Hmm" "Well, you see, here at Acropolis we have the very best bellydancers" "Ok, Carmen did reccomend me right?" "Personally, I cannot let you out on my floor until I see you in costume" "Isn't the dance measured by how well you dance" "Well yes, and your body" "I'm standing right here, and I assure you my costume is quite nice, being well over 300$" "Just change into your coctume, come back in here, and we'll decide if you can dance here"
Alot of swearing on my part insued as I was walking out, and quite loudly I might add.

So I'm thinking either I'm too fat for his preference, or I was just about to get sexually harrased. Or was it a power play, him trying to show me who's in charge here? Either way, I'm wondering weither or not I should send out emails to all the local dancers here in Tampa, and post on the meetup groups. Or was this a one time experience? What went wrong? How do you reason with Restuarant owners? I really want to swear off all restuarant gigs after this...

OMG! So you walked out and didn't do the gig? I am so impressed! You have done your fellow bellydancers a great service. The whole situation sounds totally wierd. Perhaps by 'the best dancers' he wasmeaning that you had to look a certain way...or it was just plain harrassment. Either way, it totally stinks and you were right not to put up with it.

Before you tell the whole bellydance community, perhaps you should speak to the woman who referred you - if it's a regular gig of her's she may not want you to trash it publicly, and it could create a rift between you. But perhaps together you can confront the manager for an explanation. Hopefully he will have learnt something already from this experience, about what not to do.

I also feel that it's easier to just steer clear of restaurant gigs...

Holy geez. That is incredibly RUDE!

Did you dance? Or was he too preoccupied with the perfect body shape?

No, I left. I was so angry everything was going red.
I refused to parade around in front of this creep so he could make sure my waist was small enough and my boobs were big enough before he would "let" me dance in his restuarant.
The only thing I regret is storming out cursing, everyone must have heard. I have a bit of a temper.

Originally Posted by midnight_star56

No, I left. I was so angry everything was going red.
I refused to parade around in front of this creep so he could make sure my waist was small enough and my boobs were big enough before he would "let" me dance in his restuarant.
The only thing I regret is storming out cursing, everyone must have heard. I have a bit of a temper.

Well, the swearing wasn't exactly the thing to do, no... but GOOD FOR YOU for leaving!

The scum bag...

Originally Posted by midnight_star56

No, I left. I was so angry everything was going red.
I refused to parade around in front of this creep so he could make sure my waist was small enough and my boobs were big enough before he would "let" me dance in his restuarant.
The only thing I regret is storming out cursing, everyone must have heard. I have a bit of a temper.

good for you.

I've danced at restaurants my entire career, and there are some I just refuse to step foot in. if the owners and management are a$$holes, don't bother. it's not worth it.
I would *never* parade in front of *anyone* for approval.

It does sound iffy BUT if I'm paying someone $120 of my money and my restaurants reputation is on the line, I want to make sure she isn't dancing in a hip scarf and broom skirt. Asking to see the costume is one thing but to want to see the costume ON is a different situation. I would say he was an ******* and I'd ask the lady who reccomended you if this is his normal behavior.

This is why I think it's important that a restaurant have a head dancer.
I'm the head dancer at the one I dance at, and I would only send him dancers I know are professional and they would like.
Professional: good dancer, good entertainer, professional elegant classy costumes, professional in demeanor - (not late, acts like it's a business, not a party, etc.)
The owner and family make the final decision -
If suzy nippletassel 6 week wonder wants to be on the schedule, I would politely say no....

If the other dancer there recommended you, and they trust her, they should have taken her advice.

They should have just asked you to see your costume, not have you parade around in front of them like some kind of Ms. America contest.

I would have told him where to stick the costume in no uncertain terms.

Story: Restaurant in town, LONG STORY short, but basically, he called me and wanted me to send him cute young girls in costumes, and I said,
"I am NOT YOUR PIMP"
click.

really, he can go bite me - then he tried to make nice to me because he found out how well known I am in town through my work and event management work,

tough luck, buddy......

What a creep!

What makes him the sole arbiter of dancer physique? Oh and let me guess...HE was an absolute Adonis to look at, right?

Keep us posted as to what transpires...


Larry

Originally Posted by LarryH

What a creep!

What makes him the sole arbiter of dancer physique? Oh and let me guess...HE was an absolute Adonis to look at, right?

Keep us posted as to what transpires...


Larry

yeah, i'm sure he was Mr. Brad Pitt....

Ohhh, this story is pissing me off big time......

To be honest, my first impression was that he might have been gay. Either that, or what you might call a metrosexual. He had really pretty eyebrows. He was hard to read. Older guy too.
The idea of a head dancer is a good one. I wish they had one there. The funny thing is, the dancer who is normally there wears mass produced turkish costumes. She is about the size of my leg though...
Thanks for your support everyone. I wasn't sure if I had been right in leaving.

Oh brother, I'm glad you RAN from that place.....

You were 1 million gazillion times right in leaving.

It's about time bellydancers grow some ba&&s.

Good for you. I think you should get a medal......

LOL- Does a Bella count as a medal?

That is just terrible, and good for you for walking out of there! If he had wanted an interview/audition before deciding if you could dance, he should have said that on the phone - not sandbagged you as you walked in the door. To me, it utterly *reeks* of a power play.

I would definately talk to the dancer who referred you, because if she's never gotten this treatment from them, she should know what kind of jerks she's really working for. I agree with jewelbellydance that you may want to hold off temporarily on sounding the alarm until you speak to her, so you have her side of the story too.

yes, definitely speak to the other dancer and let her know what happened.

yesterday a local MED restaurant called wanting "a bunch o bellydancers" to dance for 2 hours at a grand opening. i quoted him a price per set, X amount of sets for one dancer. i explained it would be more for more dancers. he choked. said he was surprised it was THAT much. i actually quote pretty low. then he tried the ol "what's your experience?" thing. he just wanted to make me sweat and beg to dance for free. i told him and repeated my price. he said he had to talk to to his wife. i'm not waiting by the phone. this is the 2nd MED restaurant to do this to me in 8 months. tina

tina, guaranteed he find someone to dance for cheap, real cheap.....

that's the problem here in colorado, there will always be someone to dance for cheap and willing to undercut and all the crap-ola.

I love how they are "shocked" just "shocked" by the cost. I bet they wanted to pay no more than $50......

good for you for not waiting by the phone.

signed, '
maria,
who is beginning to get very very annoyed with the bs we put up with

off to start a new thread.

Originally Posted by tattood1

yesterday a local MED restaurant called wanting "a bunch o bellydancers" to dance for 2 hours at a grand opening. i quoted him a price per set, X amount of sets for one dancer. i explained it would be more for more dancers. he choked. said he was surprised it was THAT much. i actually quote pretty low. then he tried the ol "what's your experience?" thing. he just wanted to make me sweat and beg to dance for free. i told him and repeated my price. he said he had to talk to to his wife. i'm not waiting by the phone. this is the 2nd MED restaurant to do this to me in 8 months. tina

That's crazy. I was talking to the gals I used to dance with who were post performance at a restaurant in galabeyas. Apparently the owner thought they should have belly dancers perform there....

for mocktails.

..l;, ..l;, ..l;, ..l;,

Needless to say, he's about to get a reality check!

Originally Posted by tattood1

yesterday a local MED restaurant called wanting "a bunch o bellydancers" to dance for 2 hours at a grand opening. i quoted him a price per set, X amount of sets for one dancer. i explained it would be more for more dancers. he choked. said he was surprised it was THAT much. i actually quote pretty low. then he tried the ol "what's your experience?" thing. he just wanted to make me sweat and beg to dance for free. i told him and repeated my price. he said he had to talk to to his wife. i'm not waiting by the phone. this is the 2nd MED restaurant to do this to me in 8 months. tina

Thats intresting. I wonder if this guy was using the same tactic. He definitly threw me when he started asking me interview questions. I didn't have anything prepared, I could have brought in a portfolio of pictures and places I've danced at plus reccomendations. I even forgot to add featured dancer at Busch Gardens to the list of places I've danced at...

Do alot of dancers find themselves swindled by owners, or an attempt at swindeling?

ya but the others will have a another restaurant "job" to put on their resume. it's becoming a vicious cycle for me. i don't work, i ask for money to work, i get asked where have you worked??, i don't work.... not happy. tina

Originally Posted by tattood1

ya but the others will have a another restaurant "job" to put on their resume. it's becoming a vicious cycle for me. i don't work, i ask for money to work, i get asked where have you worked??, i don't work.... not happy. tina

*sigh*

You can say maybe something to the effect:

"I'm good at what I do, that is why I charge $x. How about having me dance - you pay me - and if you don't like me, no problem, I'll leave"

i've done interviews with every possible thing. resume, references, head shot, full shot, cossie in a bag etc. & it's never enough. my fav was when i had a list of props i do on my resume & they guy asked me to define shamadan??!!. they just want you to crack & say "ok, mister i'll do whatever you want for free just let me DANCE!!" tina

Originally Posted by midnight_star56

He definitely threw me when he started asking me interview questions. I didn't have anything prepared, I could have brought in a portfolio of pictures and places I've danced at plus recommendations. I even forgot to add featured dancer at Busch Gardens to the list of places I've danced at...

I think it's fair for a restaurant owner/manager to ask interview questions about how long you've been dancing, where you have performed, etc. I also think it's fair for them to want to see the costume, to ensure that it is indeed professional quality. After all, $120 is pretty good pay for 2 sets compared to certain other parts of the U.S., and I can see why he'd want to be sure he'll get his money's worth.

But it certainly would have been nice if the dancer who had called you to ask you to sub would have warned you to expect the interview so that, as you said, you could have brought items to prove your credentials. And I don't blame you for being offended at the demand that you parade back and forth for him in costume before being "allowed" to perform.

It makes me wonder whether unqualified subs have been sent to him in the past?

Originally Posted by *maria*

*sigh*

You can say maybe something to the effect:

"I'm good at what I do, that is why I charge . How about having me dance - you pay me - and if you don't like me, no problem, I'll leave"

hell i usually don't get to a dicker phase they just get huffy. tina

Well, just jump the gun.....

say something like,
"I know that sounds expensive to you. but I am a quality dancer. GIve me an opportunity to dance for you, pay me my price, and then you can make your decision as the whether or not it was worth paying my price. "

The worst they can do is say no...

Then, when you dance, make sure you get friends and hubby to come to the restaurant, cheer you on, put on the best show ever.....

chances are - they'll have you back.

midnight-star, I just awarded you the first ever annual BRASS CYMBALS award, check the other thread, "Why do bd's put up with...."
and let us know if you accept your award.

Just spoke to another dancer who subbed there a couple of times. (She is an extraordinary dancer, so not unqualified by any means), and she said she had to change in the office, meanwhile manager kept trying to come in because he needed "this" or "that".... hmmmm

Originally Posted by midnight_star56

Just spoke to another dancer who subbed there a couple of times. (She is an extraordinary dancer, so not unqualified by any means), and she said she had to change in the office, meanwhile manager kept trying to come in because he needed "this" or "that".... hmmmm

EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's a dirty old perv.....

glad you ran....

Sorry about the experience, but Good for you for holding your head up.