Thread: bios - the bane of my belly dance existence

I've probably written over a 100 short biographies for myself in the time I've been working as a belly dancer and I have to admit. They all suck.

I'm about to launch a new site design (professionally done by Rebecca Clayton of Utah - oh she rocks it!) and I'm fixing and updating stuff and I hate my bio. I want it to sound awesome and really reflect where I came from and who I am as a dancer and artist, but I struggle! oh how I struggle.

Please advise me, help me, offer to write it for me for pay! I've about had it.

yours in dance always - Shems

What you have on our website seems more like a comprehensive (and quite impressive!) CV. For a website, IMO shorter would be better. E.g., a selected list of performances, with a link to a full list. Same for the prose. A tighter version would be more effective. With increasing age, my attention span and memory are shrinking, and the text feels overwhelmingly long for my brain; I tend do better with short, concise abstracts that allow me to follow a link to the full text.

And, to commiserate, I always hated it when I was given that kind of advice about my own writing. It's a sucky task.

No fabulous suggestions or help. Sorry... I hate writing bios, too. They're hideous!

I just had to giggle though. Look down at the bottom of the screen in the "Similar Threads". Just a little over 3 years ago you wrote "I hate bios". Does that mean they never get any easier?

EVERYONE hates bios, I think. Part of my technique classes includes writing bios. The students do a rough draft, then bring them to class and we brainstorm to rewrite. They even rewrote mine, and it sounds much better! Your students would probably be thrilled to help you....

What don't you like about the existing biography on your web site? I could maybe see a little minor editing to smooth the transitions between some of the paragraphs, but the content is solid, and it's not filled with florid, self-aggrandizing nonsense. There's only so much you can do with a biography (you're the subject of nearly every sentence), and this is essentially advertising copy--but you don't give the impression that you're making claims about yourself that anyone who knew you (or knew of you) wouldn't have faith you could live up to.

I also hate bios. I don't have anything objective to put on them (never danced at a special place, never competed for any awards, etc). I've trained with some great teachers but it might be misleading to name them because even the ones I've studied from for long enough, I don't really dance like them, or they aren't necessarily known. In addition, I haven't been dancing all my life and have very little background in other dances.

I don't think these things necessarily make me a bad dancer, and I think I've accomplished a lot. From when I started to today, I've improved so much and I am constantly getting better. But these are things that I see. And whether I am good, or okay, or bad, well, that will be in the eye of the beholder. So these subjective accomplishments seem like useless things to list. If someone wants to see how good I am, they can watch me and judge me.

Thankfully for you, you have objective accomplishments you can list in your bio. So you should be able to write a perfectly decent bio, or have someone else write one for you.

Originally Posted by bintbeled

EVERYONE hates bios, I think. Part of my technique classes includes writing bios. The students do a rough draft, then bring them to class and we brainstorm to rewrite. They even rewrote mine, and it sounds much better! Your students would probably be thrilled to help you....

hoho! now that's an idea...and I mask it under the guise of helping them. :-) hehehehe..l;,

Originally Posted by yameyameyame

I also hate bios. I don't have anything objective to put on them (never danced at a special place, never competed for any awards, etc). I've trained with some great teachers but it might be misleading to name them because even the ones I've studied from for long enough, I don't really dance like them, or they aren't necessarily known. In addition, I haven't been dancing all my life and have very little background in other dances.

I don't think these things necessarily make me a bad dancer, and I think I've accomplished a lot. From when I started to today, I've improved so much and I am constantly getting better. But these are things that I see. And whether I am good, or okay, or bad, well, that will be in the eye of the beholder. So these subjective accomplishments seem like useless things to list. If someone wants to see how good I am, they can watch me and judge me.

Thankfully for you, you have objective accomplishments you can list in your bio. So you should be able to write a perfectly decent bio, or have someone else write one for you.

I feel like you though, I don't know what of the things I've done will be appropriately impressive, it all just seems like some crazy journey. The journey of dance.

Originally Posted by steffib

What you have on our website seems more like a comprehensive (and quite impressive!) CV. For a website, IMO shorter would be better. E.g., a selected list of performances, with a link to a full list. Same for the prose. A tighter version would be more effective. With increasing age, my attention span and memory are shrinking, and the text feels overwhelmingly long for my brain; I tend do better with short, concise abstracts that allow me to follow a link to the full text.

And, to commiserate, I always hated it when I was given that kind of advice about my own writing. It's a sucky task.

okay, this is helpful, tighten it up....

Originally Posted by rscramer

No fabulous suggestions or help. Sorry... I hate writing bios, too. They're hideous!

I just had to giggle though. Look down at the bottom of the screen in the "Similar Threads". Just a little over 3 years ago you wrote "I hate bios". Does that mean they never get any easier?

That is hilarious...I had forgotten about that. I searched "bio" before I posted this and nothing came up. I guess I should have put "bios".

And in answer to your question. Apparently not for me.

I've generally found it easiest to steal what other people have already said about me!

Also to stress the things that I'm passionate about, just in the way of Truth In Advertising. In my classes you WILL learn Egyptian style, because that's what I love, and you WILL have fun, because otherwise I will beat you with my great big Stick!

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

What don't you like about the existing biography on your web site? I could maybe see a little minor editing to smooth the transitions between some of the paragraphs, but the content is solid, and it's not filled with florid, self-aggrandizing nonsense. There's only so much you can do with a biography (you're the subject of nearly every sentence), and this is essentially advertising copy--but you don't give the impression that you're making claims about yourself that anyone who knew you (or knew of you) wouldn't have faith you could live up to.

Thanks Tourbeau...perhaps there is some hope.

Originally Posted by beafarhana

I've generally found it easiest to steal what other people have already said about me!

Also to stress the things that I'm passionate about, just in the way of Truth In Advertising. In my classes you WILL learn Egyptian style, because that's what I love, and you WILL have fun, because otherwise I will beat you with my great big Stick!

you put beating people with a stick in your bio? I'm impressed.

I helped someone write her bio about 2 months ago. It was a rather interesting thing to do, because at that time, I had never seen her dance or taken a class from her.

What helped me immensely is that she pointed to several bios online that she liked. IIRC, we discussed what she liked about those bios and what she wanted people to know about herself as a dancer and teacher. She provided me with some compliments she remembered and liked that I integrated in. The whole process was sort of done as a questionnaire/interview type thing.

Originally Posted by indigostars

I helped someone write her bio about 2 months ago. It was a rather interesting thing to do, because at that time, I had never seen her dance or taken a class from her.

What helped me immensely is that she pointed to several bios online that she liked. IIRC, we discussed what she liked about those bios and what she wanted people to know about herself as a dancer and teacher. She provided me with some compliments she remembered and liked that I integrated in. The whole process was sort of done as a questionnaire/interview type thing.

that would be me. The process was not an easy one, because I actually had to think about what I wanted the world to know about me, not always as easy as it sounds. I like Bea's big stick though!

The interview process worked to help tease out what I wanted to do, and indigostars was very good at forming questions that helped me to articulate my thoughts.

I would recommend her services to anyone interested in having this done.

Please feel free to post the bio (and or ad) if you like, indigostars.

Just for an experiment, what happens if you rewrite your bio in first person? If you want to give your readers a sense of the dancer you are and what this journey has meant to you, then writing as if you are introducing yourself to someone might give the piece a different tone. Even if you don't want to use what you come up with on your web site, it may give you some insights into how to capture what you feel is currently lacking.

Originally Posted by indigostars

I helped someone write her bio about 2 months ago. It was a rather interesting thing to do, because at that time, I had never seen her dance or taken a class from her.

What helped me immensely is that she pointed to several bios online that she liked. IIRC, we discussed what she liked about those bios and what she wanted people to know about herself as a dancer and teacher. She provided me with some compliments she remembered and liked that I integrated in. The whole process was sort of done as a questionnaire/interview type thing.

yes...while we're at it let's skip the bio and just post the interview. :-)

Sent you a PM. Edna

Originally Posted by shems

you put beating people with a stick in your bio? I'm impressed.

LOL! No, I spring that upon them later *mwahahahaha*

But I do tell them they will have fun!

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

Just for an experiment, what happens if you rewrite your bio in first person? If you want to give your readers a sense of the dancer you are and what this journey has meant to you, then writing as if you are introducing yourself to someone might give the piece a different tone. Even if you don't want to use what you come up with on your web site, it may give you some insights into how to capture what you feel is currently lacking.

I like this idea. A few weeks ago I was actually thinking of something along those lines... I don't have a website right now, but I will probably make one in the near future, and I was thinking that when I do, I would like my "bio," or "about me" page to be written in the first person. There are pros and cons to this option.

What I like about it is that it seems more honest. We all know most of the bio pages out there were written by the dancers themselves, anyway. There is something that seems a little fake, to me, about writing about myself in the third person. Maybe it's just me... but in any case, first person seems less detached. I also like that it's unique. Very few dancers have their bio page written in first person.

On the other hand, talking about your own accomplishments in first person might seem like tooting your own horn. If you are a very accomplished dancer, you can write the same bio in first and in third person, and the one in third person will probably be more effective, because the one in first person will seem immodest. People like modesty, and when it's "someone else" talking about you, you can have all your accomplishments cited without seeming overly conceited.

Originally Posted by shems

yes...while we're at it let's skip the bio and just post the interview. :-)

I cannot find exactly what I asked Kina, but here are a few questions that I recall or seem to think I must have asked:

-What have people complimented you on in the past as a teacher and/or dancer?
-How would you (or someone familiar with you) describe your style?
-What do you provide your students/customers with?
-What do you hope that your students will learn/gain from your classes?
- What do you hope that your clients will take away from one of your performances?
-What style(s) do you perform? Teach? Are learning?
-Who have been your influential instructors?

I'm pretty sure there were other questions, but it was mixed bag of pretty straightforward questions (like when did you begin dancing) and things that may be a little harder to ask.

If you have a mentor, perhaps s/he would be an excellent person to write something up about you. I think the bio writing is tricky, because it's a huge balancing act of promotion without arrogance, truth but with style, and short but informative.

Originally Posted by yameyameyame

On the other hand, talking about your own accomplishments in first person might seem like tooting your own horn. If you are a very accomplished dancer, you can write the same bio in first and in third person, and the one in third person will probably be more effective, because the one in first person will seem immodest. People like modesty, and when it's "someone else" talking about you, you can have all your accomplishments cited without seeming overly conceited.

If you have actual complimentary quotes from other people, you can work them in with a folksy, conversational vibe when you are writing in first person. "Many of my students have said that my annual performance at the local Pickle Festival was what encouraged them to take up belly dancing..." or "Mr. Hassan, the owner of the Falafel Hut, once told me, 'Out of all the dancers I've hired since I opened my restaurant, you are the customers' favorite. They always tell me you remind them of home...' " followed by something more modest and centering. You really can't call attention to someone complimenting you or awarding you an honor without looking a little egotistical no matter how you do it, so I guess I lean toward at least trying to seem sincere and down-to-earth about it. The object of the game is to hit that Don Draper sweet spot, where you're still selling your product/service/image, but you're doing it in a way that resonates with your potential customers because it feels like something they'd like to be a part of.

I hate writing biographies too. One time, this is what was read before I performed: Karnak put off writing her introduction until the last minute, and that’s why it’s so bad.

Personally I hate bios. A little background is okay but I have read some bios that just totally blew me away. They sound so awesome and fantastic like the dancer is the next best thing to sliced bread. Then I meet the dancer in person or see a video and I'm like "WTF? This person couldn't dance their way out of a hat!"

I'm sure you have all come across bios like that.

It's okay to toot your own horn but be honest and humble. First person can work well for that. "I'm so grateful I've had the opportunity to...."

Personally, to me, the proof is in the pudding and I'd rather see a few video clips then a long bio of gobbly gook. Especially if your target audience is the GP and not dancers. They aren't going to know one teacher or workshop from the next.

ok heres my question....( i have just written mine), why is it that bios cant be in the first person? Everywhere i look its in second person but i just feel like talking to my audience, why is it so widely unused? Am I just going crazy lol!

Originally Posted by jordonezbellydance

ok heres my question....( i have just written mine), why is it that bios cant be in the first person? Everywhere i look its in second person but i just feel like talking to my audience, why is it so widely unused? Am I just going crazy lol!

Mostly because it is considered weird to change voice throughout a website. If you were to write the bio in the first person then I would give it a byline. That way it was clear to the audience that you were changing narrative voice. Like, The story behind the dancer by Andalee.

Slightly off topic, I wonder if any dancers have written all of their website copy in the first person?

What about second person? .w.: ..l;,

Originally Posted by andalee-oriental

Mostly because it is considered weird to change voice throughout a website. If you were to write the bio in the first person then I would give it a byline. That way it was clear to the audience that you were changing narrative voice. Like, The story behind the dancer by Andalee.

Slightly off topic, I wonder if any dancers have written all of their website copy in the first person?

What about second person? .w.: ..l;,

great advice.. byline it is (if i am up to writing again). And i wonder that too. i have searched and havent found any in first person yet.

Originally Posted by jordonezbellydance

great advice.. byline it is (if i am up to writing again). And i wonder that too. i have searched and havent found any in first person yet.

I think the reason it isn't done more is because it is really hard to do it well. Even in my other business, where we try to take a very kitchen table approach, we use we instead of I as a bit of a buffer. I, I, I can sound like you are desperate for attention, or immodest (as mentioned previously) or trying to justify something. If you really want to go for it, look up the websites of a few nutritionists & personal trainers & other folks in that line- the only other place I have seen it is with business writers- and that is a lot less about past accomplishments of the person speaking and more about what they can do for you. So, instead of "I studied for a bazillion years with Faboo Dancer" it would be something like "During the course of study, I will apply my bazillion years of study with Faboo to your personal dance development." Not that you have to write that way, it's just what I've seen when there is 1st person narrative on websites. It can come off as homey & personal, or it can come off as a mega ad campaign.


I really like the idea of actually having someone else write your bio- this was suggested to me some years ago, but I haven't rewritten my bio since then (& I probably should!)
If I did this, my priority would be to find a good writer, and maybe even one who doesn't dance right now. If my appeal is to the GP, I think that would be a better way to find something that would actually interest that target market. If your market is existing dancers, my approach would be a little different, but I am gradually learning that I just have way too much info out there in the first place, a lot of it irrelevant to the folks I am trying to reach.

Sorry- double post!

Originally Posted by andalee-oriental

Mostly because it is considered weird to change voice throughout a website.

I don't know about that. I mean, personally, I'd want consistency so I'd write the whole thing in first person, but I've seen plenty of dancer sites that have a few sections in first person but the bio section is in third person, probably for the reasons I stated in one of my above posts.