Thread: Dancing too close .. where to look?

What's the general consensus about belly dancers staying very close to tables in restaurants while performing so-called sexy moves? Is there a "space" that should be respected for the comfort of the audience? I saw a dancer get 2 feet away from a couple and just stand there doing belly rolls. Do you feel strange staring at a dancer's belly that long, and that close? Or does it not bother you?

Just wondering if anyone else has an opinion on this

I think there are several factors to take in consideration.
*The venue and the audience.
*The lighting. Bright, disco, dark?
*Proximity feels different if one is standing straight on (more confrontational), 3/4, side, or looking over shoulder.
*Eye contact and facial expression make a difference.
*What kind of move is she making? A tummy roll straight on vs a little one shoulder nudge forward facing 3/4 feel very different.
*How long she stays close makes a difference.
A dancer has to know what is appropriate with all these things and work with them according to each venue and each audience.

What Samira said. Know your audience and know how to read each one. There have been times I've danced "right there" while looking 'em in the eye - there have been other times when I haven't even approached a given table.

Bear in mind that if you're physically close to a table, odds are that other restaurant patrons can't see you. You can use focus and expression to "have a moment" with one table from quite a ways away, and others can watch and enjoy.

Originally Posted by bintbeled

Bear in mind that if you're physically close to a table, odds are that other restaurant patrons can't see you. You can use focus and expression to "have a moment" with one table from quite a ways away, and others can watch and enjoy.

Yep. Whenever I woud go out into the audience I'd always go out for a few minutes, return to the stage for a few then go out again. If people can't see you, your show loses momentum. That's why sometimes, in a big room, I would stand on chair and dance so other patrons can see me. But never dance on a table. They could tip over!

I'd say a dancer is too close when her audience are uncomfortable. Having had a dancer's sweat land in my main course, I feel for those who do not enjoy certain performances in restaurants.

I don't really have restaurant gigs but I've tried and my teacher told us to not look at the people you are dancing very close to. Look at those sitting at the other side of the table f ex.

It is also possible that this scenario represents a situation where the dancer is taking customers hostage for tips, as in, "I'm just going to stand here and keep dancing right in your face until you give me money to leave." That's a pretty sad basis for a performing career, and it's indicative of poor training on the part of the dancer and shortsighted standards on the part of the restaurant, but there are some awfully crazy, desperate, misinformed belly dancers out there, laboring under the delusions that they deserve professional careers.

i look you in the eye !...haveing been a house dancer for 9 years, you just know by the peoples body language when to move on.you also learn when to pass by a table with a smile as well.

..hmm, i do not understand "sexy move"....what is that?

As everyone else has said, I only approach a table if they're receptive to being approached, and I tend to not face them straight on, but rather at a 45degree angle. Often, even with a receptive audience, people get awkward and don't know where to look, or what to do - so I usually break the ice by saying something, "Everybody gets so quiet!" or "Hello my name is Q'alysha - I'll be your server this evening!"

Granted, part of my performance leans to comedy because that's what I do when I'm not dancing, but if it works for you, then run with it. I think a lot of "white people" audiences really enjoy belly dancing, but they're just not sure what to do - as you mention, where to look. By keeping it "light" I find that it makes everyone more comfortable, and when you're comfortable, you're having a good time!

Also, I tend to approach in stages:

1. Is the table approachable? Are they going to be receptive?
2. Did they respond positively to my verbal cues? Are they smiling? Are they relaxed and comfortable?
3. Invite (or tug!) someone up to dance with me.
4. Thank you, and a pause opportunity for tipping.

Generally speaking, I do hip-work and shimmies with the fellas, and save the shoulder-work and chest circles for the ladies (because their fellas enjoy watching them do it!). This takes the attention of their man off me, and puts it back on them (where it should be!)... and results, usually, in more tips. Just in my experience.

Sometimes dancing close is inevitable. Especially if you are in a small restaurant or are dodging hot hookah coals from the many waitresses in your path. I once got stuck between two tables for a song and a half. I didn't stop dancing but I had to make my movements smaller. People know what is going on and a little shrug and giggle lets them know it's weird for you too. A lot of time people will strike up a conversation with you. I can't imagine why anyone would do repeated belly rolls though. A good show needs variety. You should always pay attention to your audience though and you can tell if they want you there or not. However, when I get to that slow part in the music, I usually look down or close my eyes, for some reason I touch my face to sort of cover an eye, and become emotionally connected to the music and myself. I think it is uncomfortable to look at someone else during that part. But it don't go on for an amount of time that would result in weirdness.

Oh wait, do you mean where the audience should look? If a dancer is moving it, then they can watch it lol a frame usually puts everyone at ease. It is nice having an engaged audience that makes eye contact and smiles or reacts. I always hate when the audience closes themselves off.

Most restaurants pack their diners in like sardines; the more folks they can (legally) squeeze into the building, the more $$$ they make!

This makes dance space often a bit awkward for a turn through the audience. Often, two or three feet is the absolute maximum you have between tables, so I just use all the available space. As a couple of folks mentioned upthread, you can dance for a table from half-way across a room, too, and then dance closer to them -- briefly -- for tips.

It all works. One just needs to know how to read one's audience! Not everybody possesses that skill -- and most that don't have it, don't even know they should possess it!

Deborah

Perhaps sexy was the wrong word .. BOLD? I guess what I'm saying is being at very close range performing certain movements may be interpreted as sexuality instead of sensuality. I think this has to do with the audience's relative discomfort of gazing at a dancer from so close a view, particularly because they are at waist level.

See comment from user 'vorpal' at this URL for one audience member's perspective:
chowhound DOT chow DOT com / topics / 679792

Originally Posted by zamora

..hmm, i do not understand "sexy move"....what is that?

I can't see a problem with the word "sexy" applied to belly dance..it is a sexy dance but of course there are degrees of comfort with sexy behaviours. As has been seen the dance overlaid with humour can forestalll embrassment. Young dancers being coy and flirty can take the edge off and older dancers do the" knowing been-there,done that, we are in it together,girls" can easily avoid the sleaze facor.
British audiences are not always ready for the in-yer-face and dancers able to put some distance (I don't mean just physically),stay a little aloof,not seem too serious about themselves and most of all being able to quickly asess their diners will be more successful.

I think that if you only have three feet to dance between tables then instead of dancing for the table dirictley infront of you it would be better to dance facing the table on the other side of the isle and then to the left or right of that table.

How many times have we casually shown our freinds and family members what we do and their response is a flabergasted "I don't know where to look!" while wearing an uncomfortable expression. How many time have we invited them to our stage shows and reciveed aproval and comments such as "That wasn't anything like I thought it would be, I loved it!"

Distance is important. At a workshop I went to the instructer told us that for tips you do not have to stand two feet from them. If the patrons want to tip you they can reach their arm out, bend at their waist, and half get up out of their seats all at once if they must.

Originally Posted by allthebears

Perhaps sexy was the wrong word .. BOLD? I guess what I'm saying is being at very close range performing certain movements may be interpreted as sexuality instead of sensuality. I think this has to do with the audience's relative discomfort of gazing at a dancer from so close a view, particularly because they are at waist level.

See comment from user 'vorpal' at this URL for one audience member's perspective:
chowhound DOT chow DOT com / topics / 679792

ok, thank you..

Dancers are there to be watched and appreciated. (Staring is another thing, of course.) I was a bit puzzled at first, myself, the first time I experienced a dancer quite close to us. I'm not a restaurant dancer, but like the others said, being able to read people in the audience and their comfort level is a skill.

Some of us have almost no choice about being very close to tables. You learn to find ways to make people comfortable via where you look, how you smile, how to make movements smaller...but the same holds for my daily life in Tokyo trains and such. It's a culture where we are used to making adjustment to pretend there is physical space.

This is one of the three branches of one of the restaurants I regularly dance at. You might think the picture on the far left promises some space...but it's wishful thinking. It's a u shaped tight runway the whole time. You are always inches away.

GINZA BRANCH | ?????????? ??????? Turkish Dining ISTANBUL???????????????

Originally Posted by ozma

Some of us have almost no choice about being very close to tables. You learn to find ways to make people comfortable via where you look, how you smile, how to make movements smaller...but the same holds for my daily life in Tokyo trains and such. It's a culture where we are used to making adjustment to pretend there is physical space.

This is one of the three branches of one of the restaurants I regularly dance at. You might think the picture on the far left promises some space...but it's wishful thinking. It's a u shaped tight runway the whole time. You are always inches away.

GINZA BRANCH | ?????????? ??????? Turkish Dining ISTANBUL???????????????

Wow! You're not kidding!!!

Originally Posted by carpediem

Wow! You're not kidding!!!

Nope!

A couple years ago I danced here every darned friday night for a year and a half. 20 minute set....IMAGINE.

????????????????:?????

Those picture were taken of a dancer on a night when the chairs could be pushed to the walls...I had a couple nights when it was so full people couldn7t move to the walls to provide more space.

Still. I can't imagine being right up against a table if I didn't have to be

Thanks for the fab responses! I guess in the end it's about correctly interpreting the audience's response and expectation for personal space.