Thread: All you want is a $25 donation and I can PERFORM? Gee....

Seriously. I just need to vent. Can I share this e-mail exchange & get a witness?

First, I got this e-mail about a month ago from a local Boy Scout troop organizer:

Hi Lauren - I had contacted you about a year ago to see if you would be interested in helping us with one of our Quarter Auction Fundraisers. Well, this year we are doing a All you can eat Pancake Breakfast at the Moose Lodge and I would like to ask you if you would be interested in attending by advertising your Studio and a possible couple of performances !! It is October 1st from 8:00 am to 11:00 am -- Please think about it and let me know, we would love to have you and we are only asking for a $25.00 donation.

After I had cooled down a bit, I wrote her back and said:

Hi, Ronda!

Thanks for thinking of us again! I don't think I can donate both a performance AND a cash donation. But how about a gift certificate good for a free six-week session of classes? That's a $60-75 value and you're welcome to auction it, use it as a door prize, etc.

Never heard another word, until TODAY, less than 48 hours before her event:

Hi Lauren,

I had sent you an email back about a month ago to see if you had any interest in being a Vendor at our "Chris Cakes" Fundraiser on Saturday from 8:00 am to 11:00 am -- Please let me know if you would be interested in representing your Studio and maybe having yourself and some of your girls walking around and doing the belly dancing -- We would love to have you and all we are asking in return is a $25 donation.

If you could let me know either way of your interest.

This time I was a little firmer and may have let some of my irritation show:

I did receive your e-mail on 8/23 and replied on 8/24. I wonder why you didn't receive my e-mail?

Usually my troupe and I are paid to perform. If we donated a troupe performance it would be a value of somewhere in the neighborhood of $600. I have never been asked before to donate a troupe performance AND make a cash donation. Feels very strange! Regardless, we're booked through the end of the year.

I originally offered to donate a gift certificate for a session of classes at my studio, but I'm afraid now there isn't time to get that to you as I'm teaching tonight and in the morning and leaving town tomorrow.

Hopefully we can connect on something in the future!

I think I was still mighty nice.

We've donated performances to charities before and I don't usually mind being asked, even when I have to say no. But twice she's suggested we pay THEM to perform and I can't seem to keep my cool on this one.

I also don't mind paying to vend at events where I can reach my target market for classes. Vending means sitting in a comfy chair in comfy clothes handing out literature. That's totally different from getting in costume and putting on a show for people!

Hi Ronda,
My dance troupe is having a fundraiser. I'd like you to have every boyscout and all of their parents stand on the sidewalk with signs for a car wash. When cars come in, you all will wash their cars. We will take the money. All we are asking is a $600 donation. Please bring your own buckets, bottles of soap, rags, etc . We need new Bellas. I need you tomorrow. KTHXBYE

Seems like SOMEONE lacks comprehension skills... or is just trying her luck again.

All I can say is she is probably fortunate she sent the emails to you. You were indeed much more gracious than she deserved - IMO.

Oh, please, can I pay you to bring my beautiful costumes to a syrup-laden event? After all, syrup is so easy to remove from silk, satin, and rhinestones! I just can't wait to perform a serious art in front of a bunch of little boys and their parents, who will probably fail to view it in the proper light. Of course, the pancakes will help in elevating the mood of the event. Working for free will be the whipped cream on top!

Lauren, i think both of your emails were restrained and appropriate. The offer of the 6-week voucher was very nice!

I suspect this woman thought she was doing you a big favor by inviting you to perform.

She probably thought you love to dance so much that you do it anywhere and everywhere people will let you. And, to be fair, there are many belly dancers, especially student troupes, who would do exactly that.

The public often doesn't realize that professional dancers view what we do as a JOB. And of course, they don't realize the amount of effort it takes to prepare for a gig and do it.

WORD. What everyone said. I think your offer of a class session voucher was way too nice but way too generous.

As my grandmother would've said, "give 'em what Paddy shot."

This was fun to read....And i mean that in the most mocking way possible...

I also think that your offer of a door prize was much too generous. I think one free class would have sufficed....it's not even your target audience....she obviously just got very confused about it all....I think it is obnoxious to ask you to perform AND give a donation. That is just ridiculous....I can't believe you would even be asked to do both. I don't know if that is normal in other parts of the country but you would be laughed out the door around these parts....i wouldn't even bother responding a second time...

congrats on keeping your cool...

I have to admit my troupe did once donate not only a performance but a good chunk of money as well to a fundraiser once. Of course the fundraiser was for an arts scholorship and the arts are slightly near and dear to all of us and we weren't asked for anything other than the donated performance. It was our choice to donate cash to the fundraiser as well *grin*

Sad thing is the gal probably got some other group or dancer to perform with that same pitch at some point. I know of several out here who would jump at an offer like this

Originally Posted by Viv

Sad thing is the gal probably got some other group or dancer to perform with that same pitch at some point. I know of several out here who would jump at an offer like this

Yeah me too, and that's EXACTLY why we continue to get these kinds of requests. It's hard to work up too much of a mad against the requestor, because I know in my region there are a handful of groups that would not only dance for free, but would probably pay to be there.

Wow. I'm sure we've all been asked to perform at charity events for free, but PAYING to donate your performance? What was this person thinking? To me it seems an odd event to invite a belly dancer to in the first place. Not that I think it's inappropriate, it's just that when I think of a boy scouts fund raiser with a pancake breakfast I don't think "oh a bellydancer would be great for that!" My guess is this person was justifying it in their head by saying "well she will probably get some students out of it" but a boy scouts event, I am assuming, is mostly young boys and male counselors? And even the women who do come probably aren't in the head space to think to themselves "gee I'd really like to spend money on bellydance classes" or maybe I'm wrong, but to me it just seems a weird setup.

Anyway, good on ya for keeping your cool. I would be very perturbed as well!

Yes, congratulations on keeping your cool. It's not always people's fault that they're clueless, and you did the right thing by declining the "opportunity." I also think it was good of you to be very diplomatic and polite; coming off as snooty and offended would not do anything good for any of us in the long run.

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

Hi Ronda,
My dance troupe is having a fundraiser. I'd like you to have every boyscout and all of their parents stand on the sidewalk with signs for a car wash. When cars come in, you all will wash their cars. We will take the money. All we are asking is a $600 donation. Please bring your own buckets, bottles of soap, rags, etc . We need new Bellas. I need you tomorrow. KTHXBYE

falling over with laughter !!!

When I think pancakes, boy scouts and early Saturday mornings, bellydance is obviously the next thing that leaps to mind!

It sounds like someone who is truly clueless about what performance entails. I was once on the organizing committee for a women's arts festival/public radio fundraiser and one of the chairs said that the following year, she wanted to charge the performers because, after all, the vendors who are selling stuff have paid for their booth spaces and isn't the performance excellent publicity. I shot that down as quickly and politely as I could, explaining that the performance IS the donation. Not sure I could keep the steam from coming out of my ears, though.

Is anyone else cracking up over having her "girls walk around and doing the belly dancing"?
That strikes me as so funny.

As a scout leader, let me tell you that the last thing I would do is ask for a belly dancer at an event. The next to last thing I would do is to ask a professional to donate both time and money to my event that they care nothing about.

You sure are nice, though!

Oh my lord. How ridiculous! Enjoyed reading everyone's responses. :)

Originally Posted by EternalStudent

WORD. What everyone said. I think your offer of a class session voucher was way too nice but way too generous.

As my grandmother would've said, "give 'em what Paddy shot."

Haven't been on Bhuz for a while but I can relate so much to this post. My first ever teacher was shockingly desperate for attention and possible validity that she would put herself forward to any M.E type event going (basically if it was slightly ethnic sounding she volunteered us!). Then she would require us to not only donate a performance but buy tickets to the event and get our family and friends to do the same. Problem was that we were not allowed to sit down afterwards and enjoy the evening, because you know that wasn't professional. So sometimes each troupe member would pay $25 EACH for 'the honour' of performing! I was young at the time and my mum put her foot down on that when my teacher got her to buy a full priced ticket then told her she had to work in the kitchen! We didn't even know these people and treating us like that is not showing belly dancing or us as individuals any respect. It was one of these 'performances' that I totally lost it and had to dance behind a potted palm (with a cane no less!) and I couldn't keep the fury off of my face. I walked out on that teacher and nearly left dancing all together but saw the teacher I am with now (and have been for over 13 years) dance and her troupe and how happy they were and gave classes there a go. Yeah I have done charity work with this group, but have NEVER been used or treated like my performance wasn't worth anything. Makes all the difference when you time and effort is appreciated and respected :)

I haven't been on Bhuz in awhile either but after re-reading this, I am dying with laughter just at the sheer audacity. Once the (justfied) anger dissipates, it's really funny because it's so unbelievable.

Good for you for giving a dignified answer and keeping your cool!