Thread: Do people approach you at parties about your bellydancing?

I wasn't sure what category to ask this question, but after people find out you're a bellydancer, has anyone asked you to do a demonstration right then and there at a party? It may seem silly, but how do you politely turn them down? How would you handle that without sounding snobby or rude? Has this happened to you? I've been asked by people things like "oh show us something", lol and I'm thinking in my head, of course, what is this? I'm not a monkey LOL

I have a friend that has an awesome come-back. She smiles sweetly and as she walks away she states 'Surgeons, Judges, Dentists, Teachers, Attorneys and moi share our craft only when appropriate. But thank you so much for asking. Contact me via my website for my performance fee'. I enjoy watching the expressions as she walks away.

Sometimes I don't mind spending 5 mins showing a hip drop or a shimmy, but if you don't want to you could say "I would love to. I have to go straight on to another performance now, but here's my card. I'd love to see you at one of my classes/drop me an email and I'll send you about my private tuition rates."

I used to get this fairly often, but it hasn't happened in a while. But usually I will just give them a very sweet smile and say something like "Well it's just not the same without the music, but it is really fun. You should try it sometime!" then direct them to my website or some other online way they can see me dance.

I know it's annoying, but I think most people don't realize that it's a bit rude to ask you to give them a dance demonstration when you're out in your normal clothes and relaxing. I think people are just so struck by how unique it is, and their interest is peeked, so they want to see it RIGHT THERE without really thinking about it.

Unless it was like me when I started dancing in high school and girls would ask you to dance just so they could sneer and tell you Shakira is better. So glad that's over.

You can get away with a lot in your late 50s. I ask them their first name and spell it with my chest in cursive. No one can see except the person I am standing in front of. I really hope for an i or a t.

I was really caught off guard once while at a birthday party at a Mexican restaurant, someone I vaguely knew came up to me and said she had heard I was a bellydancer and demanded that I show her some moves. I told her it was the wrong context to just start randomly bellydancing, but she was really insistent that I teach her something. I thought, well what's the harm in giving her a little hip circle, but as soon as I started showing her some people turned around and asked what I was doing, and as I did not want to make a spectacle out of myself I just laughed and said "nothing" and cut out with the excuse of needing a fresh drink. If it were to happen again I would be more firm about not doing it right then and there, and if they really insisted, I'd recommend a teacher.

If there is music playing I will show them, but without music I don't, I'd just feel like an idiot dancing in public with no music. It also depends on how many people are around, I don't like drawing attention to myself.

In some contexts it's embarrassing, at the firm's last holiday party they pushed me onto the floor to show them some moves so at that point I'd look like as much of an idiot by walking off as I would by dancing, since everyone was dancing anyway... but it was really not very good music and my clothes were completely not right for belly dance (a loose dress, pretty much any articulation gets lost in that), but they liked it anyway.

I've had this request many, many times over the years. My response depends on my mood at the moment, who else is at the party, what kind of party it is, whether the request seems to be hostile aggression or friendly interest, etc.

This past week I was at a corporate trade show for my day job, and one of the evenings I went to dinner with a group of 12 people that I work closely with. All of these people have interacted with me A LOT in a professional capacity, and I've firmly established my reputation with them as a valuable colleague who brings them sales leads. We were in a private dining room at the restaurant. Several of them already knew about my dancing, and one of them asked me what dance-related projects I've been up to lately. Of course, those that didn't already know immediately started trying to reconcile the "me" that they knew as a high-tech sales/marketing professional against the idea of "belly dancing".

So when the waitress came in and momentarily distracted everyone with a question, I quietly put a glass of water on my head. She left, and everyone's attention returned to the table, and their reactions to my glass of water were pretty funny. One of the men said, "So, let's see you get up and shake with that on your head." I laughed, got up, and proceeded to do a variety of dance moves including shimmies, all with the water glass on my head. The guy who said that was speechless, and everyone else was quite impressed. I smiled, removed the water glass, and sat down again. It actually sparked a great conversation, where we went around the table and everyone talked about what they do for fun outside of our jobs.

Usually, though, instead of actually doing a demo, I just laugh and say, "I'll let you know the next time I'm doing a performance and you can come watch!"

OK, I can't beat Shira's story , but - if the question was good natured, I usually do a hand ripple. It's too small to create any kind of a spectacle, it can't possibly feed the "sexy bellydancer" stereotype, and almost inevitably the asker tries to do one and discovers it's actually hard. Pushy or rude requests I turn down with a smile and "I'm off duty - come to one of my shows."

years ago a student of mine got "stuck" at a dinner party..the other ladies asked her about her classes...she took them and their cocktails into another room, and she showed um all right..floor work
she could not walk the next day.

Thank you all so much, this really helps; I guess the questions I've been asked are mostly good- natured, not meaning any harm in any way. Now I know better how to handle it the next time I get requests lol. Thank you!

It used to happen ALL THE TIME when my boyfriend and I started dating, until I told him that I don't always like it when he "outs" me at social events. I'm not really into drawing attention to myself on a night off. Now, he knows better than to say, "Have you met my girlfriend? She's a belly dancer!"

I still get the request from time to time, and usually my response is, "Let me show you how to do a shimmy!" If you get somebody to join you in the spectacle, it feels less like a spectacle and more like a team effort. And they get a feel for how hard belly dance is, which is pretty cool.

Or if they get really obnoxious, say, "My private party rate is $250. I take cash or credit cards."

Shira, that is amazing, I'll have to remember it!

Unfortunately as I run a theatre company now, *all* of our parties are demands for everyone to sing/dance/act/breakdance/gymnastics of all kinds. We ended up making an entire show out if it.

Shira's response was awesome. LOL. And I agree that context is everything. I've sometimes indulged the requests and sometimes avoided them. Sometimes it annoys me, sometimes it doesn't. I can totally relate to the "I'm not a monkey" sentiment.

I once ran into the (off-kilter) yoga instructor who also taught at the same gym I did at Home Depot - she was with her husband, and she's all "here's THE BELLYDANCER! Show him some moves!" I said sure, if she wanted to demonstrate a downward dog for my husband as well ;)

No more problems after that.