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Thread: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?




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    Established BHUZzer Aesera's Avatar
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    Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    It is not uncommon I know, but certain attitudes bring me down although the joy of performing for people who really do value and understand that belly dance is an art, makes up for any uncomfortable situations that may arise. I had a guy asked if I can scratch his back with my hips and then he said "seriously, I have three handsome sons." I said "nice, I have a beautiful daughter..." he said "oh, nice," then I said "and a wonderful husband too." He then said he respected that and I danced away. I have not really had issues with my night gig. I love the environment and the audiences' attitude. It is during my day time gig that I get people with various attitudes and wrong perceptions. Perhaps because it is at such an odd time to have a belly dance show and most people there don't expect it and don't understand it. I heard a young woman say "that's awkward" once. Some don't expect to see a belly dancer in the bright day light when having lunch. Some love it. Never have that issue at night.

    If you want to share, what's your horror story with a rude customer/audience member?


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    Master BHUZzer shems's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    I have way too many...I suppose that is why I stopped doing club work overall, here are some highlights:


    The basketball style guarding shuffle that shields you from the audiences view no matter how fast you try to dance away and shake this guy, and this as soon as you come out for the opening number.

    The sneak up behind you and try to grind you customer, who then proceeds to chase you around the restaurant until staff intervenes.

    The lesbian sneak attack, where she uses the veil you've graciously lent her to capture you and feel you up.

    The customer who slaps you on the butt as you dance by.

    The customer who comes and talks with you after your show where he proceeds to insult your husband for letting you dance and then forcibly sits you down when you try and leave.

    The customers who corner you by your dressing room and offer you a couple of twenties for a special private party.

    Those customers who think it is sexy to stare at you down their noses with a look of disdain all night ore even more lovely the customer who points at his crotch as though you should do something about it.

    The customer who stands up in the middle of the dance floor in the middle of your show, tells you that you are a bad dancer and tells you to get off the stage, with a reprise of screaming "that's enough" when your finale music starts.

    The audience who doesn't notice you exist as you dance your heart out, no matter what you do.

    The audience members who intentionally turn their chairs around and stair blankly at the wall when they see you coming.

    The woman who gets up in the middle of your entrance to show off how her sexy dancing is so much better than yours (at least mine didn't start taking her shirt off, which happened to a friend of mine.)

    The audience members who post your photo on facebook and then go on to insult you even when you are obviously tagged and can read everything they write.

    You should ask sometime about the venue owner/musician/client horror stories, those are really fun too.


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    Just Starting! TaliaD's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Ive had a horror story with a manager of a restaurant that I dare not remember, never mind tell. But with customers I have been quite lucky. There have been a few females that are cold with me in the beginning, but I find with a few gestures and smiles you can usually get them on side, Then they relax and enjoy themselves.


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    Established BHUZzer Aesera's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Wow Shems, all of that? I just started dancing professionally this year and don't have that many but certainly need to be prepared as it seems that more than I had imagined can happen. I think I read a similar thread here on bhuz and a dancer mentioned that a guy picked her up and kissed her forehead or something like that. So outrageous.
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    Master BHUZzer shems's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aesera View Post
    Wow Shems, all of that? I just started dancing professionally this year and don't have that many but certainly need to be prepared as it seems that more than I had imagined can happen. I think I read a similar thread here on bhuz and a dancer mentioned that a guy picked her up and kissed her forehead or something like that. So outrageous.
    One of my teachers had a patron grab her bra and she had to smack him with her zills until he let go. Yea, people can be scary....but most are good or at least benign. It is alway good to have your guard up (those were just the highlights, there were many lesser offenders, Grandmas always want to tip you in your bra cups for example, but I tolerate them because they are Grandmas.)

    :-)
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    Established BHUZzer Anthea Kawakib Poole's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by shems View Post
    One of my teachers had a patron grab her bra and she had to smack him with her zills until he let go. Yea, people can be scary....but most are good or at least benign. It is alway good to have your guard up (those were just the highlights, there were many lesser offenders, Grandmas always want to tip you in your bra cups for example, but I tolerate them because they are Grandmas.)

    :-)


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    Established BHUZzer Anthea Kawakib Poole's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    I must have a much higher tolerance for people's awkward & foolish behaviour.

    anyway, the only one that I consider a remarkably unpleasant experience is the guy who just didn't want any part of a damn bellydancer no how, no way. I was just telling this at a coaching session last week, as I considered most bellygram & restaurant audiences just fine. I let that stupid stuff roll off like water off a ducks back.

    To continue: this one gram recipient was such a bad sport he made everyone at the party uncomfortable, cussed, told me to stop and leave, kept leaving the room etc. I told him I'd been hired to perform and I'd be done in a few minutes, then pretty much ignored him. I didn't want the rest of the party to feel bad about it so just continued for them, got my check & left. What an ass he was!
    This was my most unpleasant experience in performing.
    Otherwise, all that other stuff is par for the course and just not worth paying attention to.
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    Established BHUZzer Aesera's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Anthea and Shems- Unbelievable!

    Talia- Sorry you had to go through a bad experience with a manager.
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    Advanced BHUZzer kozmique's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Shems! I am not tough enough to accept such behavior as par for the course. That's why I dance so rarely. Sometimes it is too emotionally exhausting! The first time I ever danced in front of an audience was for a small group in a private setting - friends, relatives, and a couple of neighbors. I thought I had done well, and everyone in the audience enjoyed it, except this one lady from next door who got raging mad. When I was done, everyone else started trying on my hipscarves and laughing, but when one of them tried to put one on this lady she jumped like she was stung by a bee. She grabbed my arm and marched me out the door to her apartment, dragged me in, and made me look at this giant, faded, framed photo of four guys circa 1973. I seriously thought it was Lynyrd Skynyrd or something and I had no idea what she was getting at, but she was fuming. I thought maybe one of them was her husband? So I asked, is one of them yours? She shouted, "All of them!" and then proceeded to tell me their names, which were all Biblical, and I realized they were her sons, and thought Oh $#!% what is this about??? My brother saved me by coming in just then to ask if I wanted to go take some pictures, and then the woman practically started crying, and shouted "Go! Go take your sexy pictures!" and we ran out of there! I really had NO idea what that was all about, because I wore a modest costume and did not dance in an overtly sexy way, but according to my brother, it was this lady's husband's reaction that provoked her ire. I seriously had not even noticed him at all while dancing, I mean it was my first time ever and everything was a blur! But later I saw a pic of me with him sitting behind me, and he was beet red and looked very sweaty and embarrassed. Ew!!! Luckily I never saw that couple again. But it was an unexpected lesson about the powerful emotional reactions this dance can bring up in people. Another time I was banned from practicing inside a house I was staying in in Georgia. The owner didn't want that "terrorist stuff" in his house I was allowed to do it outside in the garden though, which was nicer anyway, and there were fireflies!
    Last edited by kozmique; 12-24-2011 at 07:43 PM.
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    I could get used to this! Mora's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    My daughter recently did a gig where two drunk girls in the audience jumped up on the stage, grabbed the snake basket and tried to take off with it while my daughter was waiting off stage for the music to start. Luckily she caught them and took her snake basket back, but both she and her snake were very shaken up by the experience (the snake because they dropped the basket). As she said, she could have replaced gear, but not her pet.


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    Ultimate BHUZzer MahiraRaqs's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    I had a gig recently where I was hired for a party for a bunch of wealthy people. One of the wives (obviously drunk) stumbled in when I was waiting to make my entrance and stared at me and said rudely, who are you? I introduced myself kindly and smiled as she walked away. During my first song right after my entrance she grabbed my arm (hard) and dragged me out of the room and told me I had to stop because there were happily married people here. I said I was as well and pointed to my husband (since he came to the gig with me) and she didn't care. She stood there insulting me until the person that hired me came up and apologized and paid me. He then tried to lighten the mood by saying, well at least you get to leave early and still get paid. I was almost in tears and in shock. I took my money and left quickly. I was so upset. It took me the entire evening to calm down. I was wearing a fully covered velvet dress. No mesh, no skin. I don't know what else I could have done or worn to be more modest.


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    Ultimate BHUZzer dunyah's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs View Post
    I had a gig recently where I was hired for a party for a bunch of wealthy people. One of the wives (obviously drunk) stumbled in when I was waiting to make my entrance and stared at me and said rudely, who are you? I introduced myself kindly and smiled as she walked away. During my first song right after my entrance she grabbed my arm (hard) and dragged me out of the room and told me I had to stop because there were happily married people here. I said I was as well and pointed to my husband (since he came to the gig with me) and she didn't care. She stood there insulting me until the person that hired me came up and apologized and paid me. He then tried to lighten the mood by saying, well at least you get to leave early and still get paid. I was almost in tears and in shock. I took my money and left quickly. I was so upset. It took me the entire evening to calm down. I was wearing a fully covered velvet dress. No mesh, no skin. I don't know what else I could have done or worn to be more modest.
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    Official BHUZzer Kat144's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs View Post
    I had a gig recently where I was hired for a party for a bunch of wealthy people. One of the wives (obviously drunk) stumbled in when I was waiting to make my entrance and stared at me and said rudely, who are you? I introduced myself kindly and smiled as she walked away. During my first song right after my entrance she grabbed my arm (hard) and dragged me out of the room and told me I had to stop because there were happily married people here. I said I was as well and pointed to my husband (since he came to the gig with me) and she didn't care. She stood there insulting me until the person that hired me came up and apologized and paid me. He then tried to lighten the mood by saying, well at least you get to leave early and still get paid. I was almost in tears and in shock. I took my money and left quickly. I was so upset. It took me the entire evening to calm down. I was wearing a fully covered velvet dress. No mesh, no skin. I don't know what else I could have done or worn to be more modest.
    WOW. If I had a party and one of my guests behaved like that toward a performer of any sort that I had asked to be there, it would NOT be the performer I'd be sending home...
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    Ultimate BHUZzer MahiraRaqs's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Thank you Dunyah & Kat. It really bothered me. That was a first for me. I have dealt with many jerks and rude women at clubs and restaurants but I usually have good experiences at parties. I don't do restaurants/clubs anymore, just parties and I hope I will not have this experience repeat. Although, if it does, I think I would handle it a little better without getting so upset. I was caught off guard so I really didn't know what to do or say. But nobody should be treated the way she treated me.


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    Established BHUZzer Aesera's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    [The owner didn't want that "terrorist stuff" in his house I was allowed to do it outside in the garden though, which was nicer anyway, and there were fireflies![/QUOTE]

    My first reaction was to laugh when I read this about the "terrorist stuff" but it's sad because it is so stereotypical.

    And that is another crazy story about the lady. Showing that picture and then crying? How could you even guess what she really was upset about anyway?
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    Established BHUZzer Aesera's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    [QUOTE=Although, if it does, I think I would handle it a little better without getting so upset. I was caught off guard so I really didn't know what to do or say. But nobody should be treated the way she treated me.[/QUOTE]

    Oh, it is so normal to get upset. I don't think my reaction would of been different. I know we are supposed to not show those kind of feelings but it is difficult not to. But at the end, she is the one who made an @$s out of herself. She should feel very very embarrassed because educated and polite people (or really just people with common sense) don't do that. You were the victim and reacted in the most normal way.
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    Ultimate BHUZzer *Shira*'s Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    With professional gigs, about all we can do is talk with the person hiring us to understand what the audience will be like and what they expect, and then choose music/costume/dance appropriate to the occasion. We do have a responsibility to understand the gig and make appropriate choices, which is part of being a professional, but assuming we've done that, there's still always the risk of a random audience member or two who may behave badly.

    I'm NOT saying anyone on this thread made bad choices, I'm assuming your choices were fine and you just ran into some random people with "issues".

    For non-professional gigs, such as dancing as a favor to my mom or in-laws at their nursing homes, I usually offer a mini-lecture as part of the presentation when the situation allows for it. While wearing my cover-up, I'll offer a bit of historical or cultural background before I dance.

    For example, my mom asked me to perform at her assisted living Christmas party. She's at a facility run by the Lutheran church in a small rural Iowa community. It's NOT the sort of place where a Dina-esque skimpy costume would be welcome. Since this was a Christmas party, and "the Christmas story" centers around Bethlehem, which is in Palestine, I decided to bring a bit of Palestinian folk knowledge into my presentation. Instead of a typical belly dance costume, I wore a Palestinian embroidered dress, talked about the history of that garment, and pointed out the intricate counted cross-stitch on it. I spoke of how the shepherd women in the Christmas story were probably wearing something very similar to it.

    Then I talked about how a very typical dance from the region is the debke. I recruited three "victims" from the audience (two employees, plus the son of one resident) to come up as my "assistants", and taught them a simple one which we then proceeded to do, snaking in a line around the residents.

    Finally, I introduced belly dancing, and offered a bit of background about that. I mentioned that I personally think it was likely that the shepherd women of the Christmas story may have done a bit of belly dancing as part of the whole shepherd celebration thing. I then tied on a hip scarf over my Palestinian thobe, and did a short belly dance performance to a folkloric piece.

    Now, the above stuff wouldn't make me immune to bad audience behavior, but it does help adjust people's preconceptions. Since audience members often see what they expect to see, regardless of what you actually DO, I find that the mini-lectures often change those expectations, at least a little.
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    Advanced BHUZzer yameyameyame's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Wow... some of these are really really awful. This sort of thing is the reason I am not overly eager about professional performing.

    Since I take pro gigs only occasionally (although that may change this year), I don't have that many bad experiences to tell. The occasional dead audience, or a few people in the audience who look like they really don't want to be there, I think is something we all go through at some point or another and although it kind of sucks, I don't take it personally.

    The worst I've had happen to me was at this gig where, for the audience participation section, the people were already so drunk and having so much fun that everyone ended up getting up, and they were taking turns taking photos with me... then this guy comes up with his son to take a picture of him with me. His son must have been 15-18... he stood next to me and smiled for the photo... then the father comes to him and takes his arm and puts it around me. I felt awful. What does he think I am? Worst of all, I didn't even do anything about it. If it had been the father who had put his own arm around me, I would have taken it off and told him not to touch me, but I felt bad about doing that to the boy, since it was not he himself that did it. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have let him anyway, but it really caught me off guard and I didn't know what to do. Well, it could have been worse.

    Actually, after that gig, I got a call from a blocked number, it was a guy who was at that party, asking me how much I charge. I started inquiring about the gig, only to realize this guy had no actual party planned out where he wanted to hire a dancer. He would not tell me his name, his phone number, where the party would be, who would be there... anything! He tried to evade my questions, and when I finally confronted him about it by saying that he was giving me nothing to work with, that if I am being hired for a belly dance gig I need to understand the nature of the gig, he responded; "you have the most beautiful body I've ever seen." No joke. Everything about that phone call was a huge red flag. Clearly he completely misunderstood who it is that I am and what it is that I do.

    I don't even understand how. My costumes are not overly revealing, and I don't dance provocatively (neither in body language nor facial expression). How could someone think this is what I do?
    Last edited by yameyameyame; 12-29-2011 at 02:39 PM.


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    Ultimate BHUZzer MahiraRaqs's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by yameyameyame View Post

    I don't even understand how. My costumes are not overly revealing, and I don't dance provocatively (neither in body language nor facial expression). How could someone think this is what I do?
    I know the feeling. For most (if not all) gigs I wear either an L Rose dress with a bra/belt or at the very least a belly cover (usually in a color that matches my costume) so I am not really showing skin. I don't wear anything with cutouts and I don't even do shoulder shimmies in certain gigs. I guess it doesn't really matter to some people. They have it in there head that you are "something else".


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    Ultimate BHUZzer *Shira*'s Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by yameyameyame View Post
    I don't even understand how. My costumes are not overly revealing, and I don't dance provocatively (neither in body language nor facial expression). How could someone think this is what I do?
    It's because of people's preconceptions about what a "belly dancer" is. He didn't see the reality of how you danced or what you wore, he saw you through his personal filters.
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    A journey of ten thousand miles begins with a single post. Lauren_'s Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    In case anyone reading this thread is new to gigging, or considering it, I want to say that 99% of my gigs — restaurant, club and private party — have been absolutely delightful & a pleasure to do. My customers & audiences are either actively engaged & appreciative or at least polite.

    It's good to talk about the things that can go wrong, though.

    Let's see...

    I used to dance at a restaurant that was a popular place for first dates. It made new couples nervous when a bellydancer came out. The men, to be on the safe side, wouldn't look at me at all. and often the women seemed uncomfortable as well. Some nights it seemed like no one wanted to watch me at all, so I would dance mainly for myself & the staff (who always came out of the kitchen to watch my shows, bless their hearts!)

    Once an acquaintance, an Arab woman, invited me to her party -- as a guest, I thought. She knew I was headed to a hafla after the party, so she knew I would have a costume in the car. She asked me to bring it in & show it to her, made a fuss, wanted to see it on me.. then proceeded to manipulate me into basically giving her guests a free show! I'm not usually so gullible, I felt like a real heel when I realized what was happening.

    Once I danced at a party where the guest of honor had gotten quite sloppy drunk. Generally I try NOT to dance after 10pm at parties where I know alcohol will be served, and this gig was at 11pm in a private room at a local bar & grill, so I knew it was risky, but I had two other gigs that night & couldn't get there any earlier. Everything was going OK until the part of the show where I got him up to dance with me. I noticed just then that one of the hooks on my belt had come undone so I tried to fix it discretely while dancing with him... he noticed what I was doing and took it as a cue to undo his pants! He dropped them before I knew what was happening and wagged his butt at me. Luckily, two relatives (including the one who booked me) intervened. I danced off to entertain the better-behaved guests while they got the GOH into his pants & sat him back down. After that he behaved. (believe me, if no one had intervened I would have left the party that instant). They were sooo apologetic & apparently this behavior was totally out of character for him. Too bad there were hundred cel phone cameras on him when he did it. (to make matters worse, this was the first gig I ever let my boyfriend accompany me to).

    Only one ever felt truly sinister to me, and it also involved alcohol. The GOH was a scary, soulless man who kept following me around trying to touch me. I ended my set early & demanded payment. My customer tried to stuff my payment into the front of my bra. I still want to cry when I think about that gig, but it was years ago and nothing like that has ever happened to me again.


  22. #22
    Established BHUZzer Aesera's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by yameyameyame View Post
    I don't even understand how. My costumes are not overly revealing, and I don't dance provocatively (neither in body language nor facial expression). How could someone think this is what I do?
    Like Shira and Mahira said, you did nothing wrong. It is just very sad that some people percieve belly dance in the wrong way and make assumptions about us regardless of how we dress for a gig. Like that guy who asked if I can scratch his back with my hips. What was he thinking??? And I also avoid costumes that are too revealing because showing my belly and cleavage is enough. I am even thinking of getting rid of all my mermaid skirts or skirts that fit too tight just in case that's seen as too sexy. I prefer full circle skirts anyway. But at the end, some people's minds are already set about us and our dance in a very ignorant way.
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  23. #23
    I could get used to this! PassionWarfare's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Goodness, this thread is quite an eye-opener!

    Shems: as we say in the South, bless your heart! I can't for the LIFE of me understand why anyone would ignore your performance, look at you with "death eyes", or freakin' HECKLE you and tell you to get off the stage! I've always been enthralled by your performances (those that I've seen online, never had the pleasure of seeing you in person) You are so lovely, talented, and engaging! Just goes to show that some people are quite happy to make an a$$ of themselves anytime, anyplace, for any reason.

    Kozmique: What a truly bizarre story! That lady is straight crazy! (I loved your line about looking at a picture of Led Zepplin!) Gosh, I think that trumps all other bizarre audience behavior stories. It is pretty funny, though! A good story to tell students, and for students to pass on to the next generation of dancers

    Mahira: WOWZA! I'm so sorry that woman did that to you! I know this is probably cold comfort, but I can guarantee that the lady embarrassed HERSELF with her ridiculous, jealous behavior far more than she embarrassed you. Shame on the event organizer for giving in to her drunken rudeness and telling you to leave! I'm sure the rest of the non-crazy audience would have loved your show. But sadly, as my Aunt Dawn says, "You can't mess with crazy. Crazy always wins....in the short run, anyway!"

    Yame: Oh, gross!!!!! That is way icky. There are a lot of creepers who fetishize belly dancers. I've gotten a couple of calls myself of the "I'm having a 'party'....me, with two friends. Can you come 'dance' for us?" Guys are the same everywhere, unfortunately. Good for you for standing up to him and hanging up!


  24. #24
    I could get used to this! PassionWarfare's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Well, I've had some unsavory experiences in my years of dancing professionally. Here are a few:

    - I danced at a Lebanese wedding recently, and the father of the groom (the one who hired me), warned me SEVERAL times before my performance that his nephew's wife was INSANELY jealous, and that she might try and "outshine" me (???) I had a lovely time, and the audience was a lot of fun (and tipping me quite well), but all of a sudden I looked over and dancing a few feet away was a bottle blonde with LARGE fake breasts wearing a low-cut dress. Shoved into her ample cleavage was a VERY visible $100 bill, as if to say "Everyone's tipping the belly dancer, but here's MY tip!" I tried to get her to dance with me, but she pretended to ignore me, and was perfectly pleased to dance with herself. Priceless.

    -Lately, I've been noticing a trend in the "party" atmosphere restaurants/night clubs I've been performing in. A LOT of college/high school age girls bring their OWN hip scarves to the restaurant, and when my music comes on, they put on the hip scarves and start wiggling and gyrating, sometimes on top of the tables or chairs, while their college/high school age friends cheer, take photos/videos, and usually tip them. Many of these girls actually roll their shirts up so you can see their tummies (!!!) Sometimes these girls want to dance WITH me, and sometimes they want to be the "star of the show" and refuse to have anything to do with me, as if to say, "Step aside...I'M the real entertainment!" Either way, I usually don't get a single dollar in tips from these "Hip Scarf Divas" or their friends, and I often have to deal with them wanting to gyrate and grind against me while I'm dancing. Classy!

    I suppose the advent of the "Hip Scarf Diva" has something to do with this whole Facebook-Era, "I must be the center of attention, Look at me! ME-ME-ME!" culture that is becoming the norm among high school and college-age kids. Frankly, even if someone offered me $100 to do it, I would NEVER put on a hip scarf, stand on a chair, and gyrate in front of a whole restaurant. To me, that would be EMBARRASSING, WEIRD, and and a great way of screaming "I'M AN ATTENTION (PROSTITUTE)!" to an entire room full of people who didn't know me. Let the professionals do the work, honey--and spend a few more hours playing "Belly Dance Hero" or watching "Shimmy" on the exercise channel.


  25. #25
    Ultimate BHUZzer *Shira*'s Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by PassionWarfare View Post
    Lately, I've been noticing a trend in the "party" atmosphere restaurants/night clubs I've been performing in. A LOT of college/high school age girls bring their OWN hip scarves to the restaurant, and when my music comes on, they put on the hip scarves and start wiggling and gyrating.
    Sounds like too many hours spent watching Shakira music videos, particularly to Ojos Asi and Hips Don't Lie.
    MahiraRaqs and PassionWarfare like this.


  26. #26
    Established BHUZzer Aesera's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren_ View Post
    I ended my set early & demanded payment. My customer tried to stuff my payment into the front of my bra. I still want to cry when I think about that gig, but it was years ago and nothing like that has ever happened to me again.
    One of my few bad experiences also includes people trying to stuff money in my bra. I also don't have too many horror stories and there are so many worse than mine here but if that made me feel horrible I can just imagine how it would be if something like what happened to the other dancers here happened to me. It is good to know that there are all kinds of crazy people out there to be prepared. My husband always wants to go with me to gigs and I worry that it will look weird. But it doesn't matter how it looks or how the client sees it (they shouldn't care otherwise it is a red flag to begin with), it is better safe than sorry.


  27. #27
    Ultimate BHUZzer *Shira*'s Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    To all who have experienced horrible customer/audience/club-owner situations, here's a silver lining... after you've recovered from the stress of it, you'll have a great story to tell for years to come!
    kozmique and MahiraRaqs like this.


  28. #28
    Ultimate BHUZzer MahiraRaqs's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren_ View Post
    My customer tried to stuff my payment into the front of my bra.

    That reminds me. I used to dance at a popular restaurant a few years ago. There was a party in the lounge that the manager had asked me to "pay special attention to" during my second set. So I did, and they were tipping well. However they also had lots to drink. The lady got up to dance with me and leaned forward and said with her drunken speech "you are sooo beautiful" and attempted to put money in the cup of my bra. I stepped back and she fell flat on her face. It was kibd of funny. Like something you'd see on SNL or something. Well she was so drunk, she got up and laughed it off ans handed me the tip.

    That's more like it. ;-) lol


  29. #29
    I could get used to this! RachelNicole's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    People are so ridiculous! Apart from the rude customers at restaurant gigs, I've only had one gig-gone-bad.

    Me and two other girls in my company got hired to perform for an Estee Lauder promotional event in Dillard's. We did our first number, were waiting to do our second, and we see a lady with her daughter screaming at the EL manager. Turns out we couldn't dance again but still got paid, of course. The lady was saying we were soliciting sex to teenagers and it is appalling that she can't even bring her daughter to a department store. (Like the posters of models in lingerie aren't soliciting sex?)

    OMG!


  30. #30
    I could get used to this! Saraia's Avatar
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    Re: Do you have any customer/audience horror stories? Has anyone been disrespectful to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shira View Post
    It's because of people's preconceptions about what a "belly dancer" is. He didn't see the reality of how you danced or what you wore, he saw you through his personal filters.
    This is true. Also, some people just have a fetish for bellydancers. If someone wants to harass you they'll do it no matter what you wear (even if it's a nun's habit) and no matter how you behave. No one should ever blame themselves for this!

    Also, even if a dancer was wearing a more revealing costume (two-piece/with cut-outs) there is nothing inherently wrong with that, and it's certainly no excuse for the kind of behaviour cited in this thread!
    Aesera likes this.


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