Thread: Tips or Lack Thereof and Rate Negotiations

My area has a very limited market, and I've enjoyed an on-again off-again gig at a local restaurant. The owner is respectful and runs the business with integrity. After a year or two w/no dancers at the restaurant he brought me back in on a monthly basis. I'm the only dancer since he's only doing it 1x/month. The going restaurant rate in my area is $100 + $25 guaranteed tip minimum for 3 10-minute sets in a 2hr shift, or $50/hr with a 2hr minimum booking. In other words with the tip minimum, if I don't make $25 in tips each night, the owner covers the difference.
I *never* make that minimum, partially b/c I have to split tips with the band but mostly because there is little effort to get people tipping. Now, to be clear the restaurant is named after a Greek, and has spanikopita on the menu the nights I'm there, but is otherwise a 'brick oven pizzeria and pub"; so you know, its not really a place that screams "belly dancer! throw money!"
I stuff a couple bills in my belt and put a tip jar with a big sign and a few $5s in it at the beginning of the night so I feel like I'm doing my part. I've talked with the owner about some ways he can cue the audience to tip like a money shower or having the MC say something or a little blurb on the menu or table-toppers about tipping, but he hasn't really followed through. I'd like more tips, who wouldn't but as long as I get my minimum, I'm content.
He asked me to book a second dancer for later this month for Greek Independence Day and he originally wanted 1 dancer at each location (there are 2 locations btw). Cool.
Wait for it...
So when I emailed him this week to confirm, he said he wants both dancers at 1 location and will pay $200. Now something is clearly wrong with his math, because if each dancer is $125, the total for the night should be $250. Right? Right. Well sort of. The tip minimum is the catch. If we made our tip minimum he would only pay $200, but I doubt we will--
So my question is how do I finesse this to a) keep the wage we settled on previously b) use the opportunity to get him to push tips more, and c) not run the risk of loosing the gig altogether.
I know all the arguments in favor of establishing my ground rules and knowing my worth, I just need some ideas for wording.
Oh and I'm not interested in "calling out" the owner either, so I've intentionally left the name out although you could easily find it by going to my website if you need to put this in more context but otherwise..you know, lets keep the conversation broad and more general

My answer would be, "Forget about the tip minimum. Assume tips will be zero. Charge the amount you can feel good about charging regardless of whether you get any tips or not."

Why pressure him to urge his customers to tip? The fact that he hasn't followed through suggests to me that he doesn't WANT to take the actions you've urged him to take. Maybe the customers simply don't want to tip. And if they don't want to, why should he risk his relationship with them just to please the belly dancer who comes in only once a month?

One thought - if YOU create the tabletop cards encouraging tipping, would the owner let YOU place them on the tables? Since you're the person who would benefit most from generating higher tipping activity, doesn't it make sense for you to be the one to create and distribute these cards?

Maybe the owner is not too enthusiastic about helping your tipping situation because customers have given him negative feedback about what's already happening. If I went to a restaurant and felt the wait staff had been aggressively soliciting tips, I'm not sure I would go back, and I already understand that tips are an important part of a waiter's total income. The audience might not know that the dancer is expecting tips the same way the waiter is, or that her tips are being split with the band, or even that she isn't already getting a chunk of what's left on the table (the same way that waiters sometimes split tips with busboys). It just might look, well, sorry...greedy.

I'm not sure what the 2-for-$200 deal is about. Maybe since you are splitting the gig, he expects you to do shorter sets or something. What I would be more concerned about is if he might be transitioning the other dancer into your job. If he has been receiving comments from the customers about feeling panhandled (albeit perhaps unjustifiably because they don't understand the role of tipping in restaurant dancing), or if he feels that you've become "difficult" about the tipping situation, this would be a way of easing you out the door in favor of someone else. This other dancer may be willing to undercut you (and it wouldn't be the first time an owner made that choice), or she may naturally attract better tips. Personally, I'd say if you want to make an issue of it, you could ask about a small increase in base pay, but I'd back off the tipping issue for a while.

First, if you come out with your planted tips showing, the audience might be insulted. What I suggest is to fold the bill lengthwise on a slight diagonal, so the denomination is showing from both sides. Tuck it in your belt, THEN fold it down AGAIN, so it's not showing when you enter. At some point during your first or second song, discreetly untuck the bill, voila, they think someone ELSE tipped you.
AND, that tip plant. Make it a $20. Why stifle their tipping creativity. ;)
Beyond that, you only have the upper hand in negotiation if you are willing to say "no." I would gently remind him of the $125 minimum... see what he says.

These are all great suggestions. I would say that I'm not aggressively soliciting tips. I don't walk around with a tip basket or only dance for tables that wave money. I just do what I think are the 2 most common ways of letting an audience know that tipping is ok, and even welcome-- a bill in the belt and one in the basket. If they don't tip, they don't tip.

He also hasn't gotten negative feedback from me about the situation. I don't initiate the conversation about increasing tips, I set my minimum and as long as I get paid what we agreed on I'm happy. He's the one who has brought it up in the past. I've known him for years and every time we work together he asks why people aren't tipping more and has given me the impression he is hoping my tips will offset his costs and IMO if that's the case we do have to agree on a strategy for making that happen. I've offered constructive feedback about ways we can encourage tipping and he doesn't really respond with action or alternatives.

I just went back and reread my OP and I do see that I asked b) use the opportunity to get him to push tips more,--which is probably what gave the impression that I spend my nights haggling for tips
What I meant was how do I keep the wage we settled on and since that includes a tip minimum what more can I do to ensure that gets met because I agree that people don't want to feel squeezed at every turn--pay for this, pay for that...now pay for this, oh that costs extra.

Let me ask this, since we have enjoyed a long, mutually beneficial relationship can't I cut him some slack? I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I'm following the minimum rate in my area and if I don't follow the minimum rate I'm undercutting, but its my business and if I want want to give a good customer a discount for buying in volume why shouldn't I? And I think this is the rub for me; I want to do this for him--he's been loyal and fair and I don't want to nickle and dime him. This is an extra week, on top of my regular gig with him and I appreciate that and want to work with him. What do others do for long standing, loyal clients--do you ever flex on your rate or do you insist on your minimum always no matter what?

Hi, I am not a performer, but reading that he is asking why people don't tip more makes me wonder if he is thinking they aren't enjoying it enough. Or is it worth having a dancer. Just a thought. Good luck.

IMO, You should NOT cut him a deal for a second dancer. If he was booking you for extra sets on a big night, then I can see cutting him a small discount since you are already there, in costume and ready to perform. That I can see as "buying in volume" as you put it.

Booking a second dancer does not qualify for a discount. You both deserve to get paid the minimum rate. Booking two dancers is not buying in volume. Neither one of you should have to take a hit because he wants two difference dancers that night. Plus he is assigning you the task of booking the second dancer, which is extra work on your part.

I would say something along the lines of,

"I would be willing to take on the work of finding and booking a good dancer who has can put on a quality show for the customers. The price will be $100 plus $25 guaranteed tip minimum per dancer, as per usual. I would be willing to bring along some small cards for the tables to encourage tipping which might help reduce your costs, if you like."

You might also offer him a small discount if he wants to skip the second dancer and have you do the extra sets yourself.

Good luck and stick to your guns!

Originally Posted by Bollygirl

Hi, I am not a performer, but reading that he is asking why people don't tip more makes me wonder if he is thinking they aren't enjoying it enough. Or is it worth having a dancer. Just a thought. Good luck.

I wonder that too. I think its a valid question. It is a brick oven pizzeria and pub, and I think that's what many people go there for. Its a nice family restaurant, its a nice place to work but maybe its just not something that can sustain a dancer long term.

Asra this is a really helpful perspective. I like your reply wording and your suggestion to offer him a small discount on extra sets with me. This is good food for thought.

You should NOT cut him a deal for a second dancer. If he was booking you for extra sets on a big night, then I can see cutting him a small discount since you are already there, in costume and ready to perform. That I can see as "buying in volume" as you put it.

Booking a second dancer does not qualify for a discount. You both deserve to get paid the minimum rate. Booking two dancers is not buying in volume. Neither one of you should have to take a hit because he wants two difference dancers that night. Plus he is assigning you the task of booking the second dancer, which is extra work on your part.

No problem, I hope it helps :)