Thread: May/30/11 - So sad

Belly Dance Costume Gold Metallic bra and skirt | eBay

This is one of about ten listings from a vendor who states, "I am slowly getting out of the belly dancing business because I am getting married." This is where I start hearing the sound track of "Jaws."

OMG I thought we lived in the 21st century. ("I am getting married so I am giving up something that I love, that I have invested some of the best years of my life in, to please a man.") Nothing like conditional love, huh?

But then maybe marriage isn't about love. I guess it's a business contract and thus should have conditions. Hope she gets to put in some good ones herself.

That is sad!

How do you know this is sad? You're assuming this remark means, "My husband does not approve of the idea of his wife being a dancer, so I will discontinue doing this thing I love and diminish myself in order to please him." It could mean that when she made the decision to marry this guy, she knew that her new married life was going to take her somewhere where she wouldn't have the luxury of spending time or money on this particular activity, and she still thought it was the better choice. What if being with her future husband means she's going with him to Afghanistan to teach school? Just saying that she "hates to part with it..." doesn't mean much--lots of people on eBay post sob stories about the heartbreaking sacrifices behind parting with such wonderful stuff. What if the rest of the story is, "...So he told me we couldn't afford to keep both my samba costumes and my belly dance costumes, and I like samba better"? Not everybody who goes into this dance adores it with every fiber of their being for the rest of their lives. Some people do it a while, sell their costumes, and move on to other things, whether they get married or not.

You are right, Tourbeau, I did jump to this conclusion. Any number of scenarios is possible. The seller may indeed be moving on to something that is more important to her.

Could it be that my conclusion is base on knowing multiple dancers who did go through the scenario I envisioned? (The cynic in me wondered if she was upgrading to better costumes.)