Sunshine,
that we're popular is cute! I think it's some weird cosmic thing that goes out from us when we're dieting and says "here, come challenge me!"
I do try to do things without food or alcohol and I can turn down both at an event, as long as it's not every week. I just don't have the willpower to go out night after night and resist.
My job requires me to be social. I have two after work events next week so far and it's really really hard.
I think what I've learned is that I have to protect my weekends - from Friday to Sunday - for down time. it's the only chance I really have to catch up on things for myself. I am now officially in the "no" mode to commitments. I think what I have to do is just be honest up front, with "sounds fun, I might join you, but if it's okay, I need to be able to say yes at the last minute."
Somehow I have to figure this all out.