I was afraid. What would you have done? Long story

gothique · 05-14-2008, 04:03 PM

de-let-ed

acmcgraw · 05-14-2008, 04:09 PM

HUGS!!!!! try to remember as much as you can, write it all out and give it to the detectives. they don't expect everyone to remember every detail at the time, it's why they give (or should give) their contact info.

More {{{HUGS}}}

Lauren_ · 05-14-2008, 04:11 PM

Delete the thread. This isn't something you should be posting online. I'm sorry, I wish we could help, but this feels like something you should be talking only to very close friends/family about, in person. Even if you delete the thread, it can be retrieved later by some programs.

BreaMorgiane · 05-14-2008, 04:12 PM

Wow, that is awful. Don't blame yourself. Do what you can now to help out. I understand your situation. You could not have known. You will be in my thoughts.

Lesgemini_Zafirah · 05-14-2008, 04:23 PM

Gothique, I agree with Lauren: Please delete this thread & consider getting some legal counsel. You might also want to consider if you and your fiance can stay elsewhere for some time or move away altogether...?

Linnyg · 05-14-2008, 05:15 PM

Sweetie, talking things out does help but please, seek help not only from a legal pro but perhaps a therapist if you are not already seeing one for the PTSD. They can help you sort out your feelings, deal with the guilt you obviously feel and give you a safe place to talk. Not comming out right away was not an act of cowarice, it was self preservation. No one knows what the ulitmate results of their actions will be so it is not necessarily true that if you had done X instead of Y the result would have been better. You have since done what you can and that is all you can be expected to do.

Please find a trusted professional so that this does not have to consume your life so much that you miss living yourself. I will be praying for you.

As a side note, since you have a camera watching your house can you tape the activites going on so that you have proof?

mehndidancer · 05-14-2008, 08:26 PM

I am sorry this stuff is happening to you but I agree with Lauren and delete the thread. this is not the place for it. I also would suggest as well a lawyer it will be worth the money.I'd also give the videotape of that night to the police and you should have called 911. 911 dispatchers like my hubby are trained to talk and keep you calm when there is an emergency until proper help arrives. and please tell the truth. no one can fault you for telling the truth.Never feel guilty for that. I also think you should seek therapy to your feelings out. I wish you all the luck.

Alrana

jasani · 05-14-2008, 08:28 PM

What would I have done? Are you buying or renting? If I were renting - I would leave... sounds like your neighbor had the right idea of leaving too. So your Husband was friends with the missing Woman's Husband? Is he still?

Really, the best thing to do is get all the Psychological and Legal help you can find, and delete this thread. Don't get wrapped up in that - which is something hellish and you don't need that kind of hell.

jesennia · 05-14-2008, 09:22 PM

awww kiddo you've been thru so much lately :( big hugs

khalida777 · 05-14-2008, 10:05 PM

Lighting a healing candle for you tonight :)

Khalida

Zana · 05-14-2008, 10:14 PM

Gothique, you need help. What you are feeling is too much to carry alone. Please delete your posts for your own protection, and contact both a therapist and an attorney. You may have a condition that requires medication, but if your doctors are not also offering you talk therapy in your situation, you need new doctors. I know how difficult it is to force yourself out of the house when you're in crisis, but you need to do this for your health. Your fiancé must help you. Either of you can call your local hospital or mental health center for referrals to treatment -- drugs alone are not the answer for PTSD and the other things you're experiencing, and a good doctor will know that and will see to it that you get the care you need. But they will not come to you if they don't know you're out there and you need them: you have to take the steps to find them.

The husband in this case has been convicted of murder and is going to prison for a long time. You are no threat to the friend -- with the husband incarcerated, they are not going to come after her, so there is no reason for her to fear or harass you. The couple's poor children are being reunited with their grandmother and beginning the hard work of rebuilding their lives. You must do the same, for yourself and for the people who love you. These events happened years ago, and you must learn to stop reliving them or you will not be able to move forward and have the life you deserve. There is help for this pain you are feeling -- please, please do all you can to get it. Please take care of yourself. Like everyone here, I wish you well and hope you can find the strength to start healing.