things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm

[Nisima]

Originally Posted by vilia

Maybe that's why some of us began performing in the first place! I'm not the flirtacious/charismatic type in real life .... but get me in a costume with a set of zills in my hands and things feel like they change dramatically (or at least they used to when I did it regularly). That's what I've always said about myself .... I take on a different personna, that part of me that doesn't usually come out due to shyness.

Yeah, whenever the wolf whistles started with the laborers, my head would go down and I couldn't get away fast enough (even though I needed that "feedback"). How screwed up is that?

No, it isn't screwed up at all, about half the population suffers from shyness and it is apparently very instinctive on a biological level - human beings share a reflex that is very instinctive protection animals have - shyness, hiding, running, is their protection against getting killed and eaten by predators - it's the basic biological reason for "stage fright" or "fear of speaking in public" - we are afraid the audience is going to eat us alive (and sometimes it does feel a bit like that ). Getting back to basis of thread, a lot of dancers have serious stage fright/shyness. I certainly did because I am inherently shy - over time it gets so much better and given enough time, dancers start to incorporate a bit of the belly dance persona into regular life. Just a dab - like wearing chandelier earrings instead of prim pearl studs to day job - as long as attire isn't risque, it's just letting some personality in. I've been belly dancing for over 20 years and cannot imagine not being involved - it is part of my overall lifestyle - I wear caftans instead of sweats to lounge in, and so forth. Even though I am not "regular paid professional dancer" anymore - I'm still performing fairly regularly and very involved in classes and workshops and have my own regular student (yaaay!).
When I tell students the true story that when I auditioned to work at the Casbah in S.F. Fadil hired me but told me, "you are really shy". Well, it was sink or swim and I worked their regularly for years until they closed so I got over it, the shyness just evaporated.
But what I'm saying is that it's very normal and common for people to have the whole shyness thing - attention that is surprising (like the wolf whistles of day laborers) can easily trigger the shy, hurry away but secretly pleased reaction. Hey, at least you got the wolf whistles, good for you!

[AuntieCrazy]

Back to the OP - Kina, I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't normally say such things to other women, but you ARE beautiful! Inside, and out. Believe it!

TrACy

[Lisa Michelle]

Kina,

What a great partner you have! There is something very special about someone who knows you just about inside and out giving you a compliment because they see all of you, not just your physical appearance at that moment. They not only love how you look but also who you are, faults and all.

Now having said that, I guess we all need that boost now and then about our physical appearance and sometimes that comes from a stranger. They do not know us inside and out or our faults but just our looks at that moment. And it is always nice to know we can "turn a head" in our direction.

Lisa

[kina]

Originally Posted by Surida

I recently had a guy who said he was 27 hit on me. After a while of listening to him go on and on about himself I said "You said you are 27? I've been married 27 years!" Believe it or not after he picked his chin off the floor, he didn't just leave. I found the fact that he still wanted to talk to me even more of a compliment.

Kina - you are beautiful!

You're seet! And I've met you in person, you are lovely as well as being a very nice person.

Somethin' about the young un's

My partner and I were talking aobut this last, sadly i was too tired to be coherent. He however, was very eloquetn, or so he tells me

I likened it to an energy drink. I eat everyday and it gets me through my days. When I need a quick boost, I drink an energy drink and it gives me what I need to get through the next couple of hours.

While it's not a good analogy I think it helps to explain how I see it.

His compliments and caring are important to me in a long term sense, not random guy's. But every one in a while, I need a random guy compliment as a boost.

What can I say? i was exhausted!

[kina]

Originally Posted by AuntieCrazy

Back to the OP - Kina, I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't normally say such things to other women, but you ARE beautiful! Inside, and out. Believe it!

TrACy

Oh, you're sweet! thanks!