Conservative Costumes...

miriamgamal · 10-18-2007, 11:09 AM

So this restaurant I'm possibly going to be dancing at doesn't want its dancers to wear bra-style tops. The owner was in business with another restaurant a time back and customers stopped coming because one of the $35/night with no training belly bunnies they hired had her boobs busting out of the "costume" she was wearing. The whole "what you pay is what you get" was lost on them, obviously. But anyway, the point is that now he wants all dancers to be in more conservative costumes. I have a beledi dress and I'm going to order a new saiidi dress from Sharifwear (shipping is pretty quick).

He printed some photos of those velvet top/chiffon skirt beginner-style costumes. What are other suggestions you have for more conservative costumes that doen't look like something a beginner would wear? If I have to buy new costumes, I at least want them to be something I'd enjoy dancing in.

It's not that I believe in showing as much skin as possible, but I need options if he's even banning standard fare from the "usual" designers. Thanks!

Adishakti · 10-18-2007, 11:19 AM

What about an LRose mermaid skirt paired with a matching UTop? You'd still be wearing a bra with it, I realize... but maybe you could show him some pictures to see if he goes for it?

What about a cute Fifi style galabeya? Or one of those little crocheted dresses?
http://www.dahlal.com/default.aspx?n...cheted%20dress

King of the Nile has some really cute ones...
http://www.kingofthenile.com/proddetail.asp?prod=6122

latriamou · 10-18-2007, 11:20 AM

wow hm..... that's a hard one
i'm not saying these costumes exactly but do u think something along these styles
http://bellydancestore.biz/gallery.p...d=1374&no=126&
http://bellydancestore.biz/gallery.p...d=2035&no=144&
http://bellydancestore.biz/gallery.p...d=1562&no=223&

Lauren_ · 10-18-2007, 11:24 AM

Maybe over time he'll come to trust you and be less strict in this policy. Definitely show him the U-top look, that would allow you to wear things you already own and would be a great transition to bring him around over time -- first a U-top with sleeves, then a sleeveless one....

lotus · 10-18-2007, 11:24 AM

I would throw on an opaque bodystocking and wear a vest with regular costume, and then go from there. Starting with some mini-investments and go from there. Esp since you may not yet know if it will be a long term gig. Did the pages he printed out have prices showing? Did it dawn on him that someone would have to pay that money?

If this guy is only paying $35 a night, its not reasonable that he expects you to be shelling out hundreds of dollars for costumes to meet his tastes.

lotus · 10-18-2007, 11:26 AM

also, and this wil sound very cynical, I would be keeping an eye out for any employer who started off by suggesting that I might do something to bring shame through my demeanor/behavior/etc. I have noticed that usually it's a setup for unpleasant power dynamics, and a possible giant red flag for pervy nonsense.

rakgirl · 10-18-2007, 11:31 AM

how about something like the dress i'm wearing on my profile picture? a one piece dress without cutouts.

http://www.dahlal.com/default.aspx?n=1&c=1&s1=1153&s2=0

http://www.dahlal.com/default.aspx?n=1&c=1&s1=1153&s2=0

lizajuk · 10-18-2007, 11:31 AM

Turkish style vest tops with chiffon drapes or lrose outfits that often come with Sim and legend and Bella costumes.
he's gonna kit you out

then or pay a proper wage?

miriamgamal · 10-18-2007, 11:31 AM

Adishakti ~ I didn't even think of L. Rose! I think that since that looks more covered, it'll be okay. Thank you!

Latriamou ~ Thanks for the links! I do like some of those costumes and will definately poke around that site more. The black costume was actually similar to the only costume photo he printed that I thought was nice-ish. I think he's just trying to avoid the Dina-boobs.

Lauren ~ I think a transition like that would be good. He's concerned about the conservative patrons not returning who complained and stopped coming because of the other girl.

Lotus ~ There are no prices... he listed a few sites and an e-bay store. Judging from the photos though, these aren't the kind of costumes that would cost hundreds. They're also not the kind to last more than one or two good performances, if that.

Oh, and he's not paying ME only $35/night... I know I'm in a small town, but the area can support a higher rate than that. That was what another girl is being paid somewhere else by an owner who makes fun of her behind her back for being so cheap.

miriamgamal · 10-18-2007, 11:35 AM

Lotus ~ If he starts with any nonsense, I'm leaving.

Rakgirl ~ I'm thinking the dresses should be okay... the one in your profile is lovely! I already have one I'm going to wear, but I'll definately look into one without cutouts (or just tiny ones).

Lizajuk ~ I'll have to look at more Turkish style costumes... I don't think I've seen a turkish vest with chiffon drapes.

lotus · 10-18-2007, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miriamgamal

Lotus ~ There are no prices... he listed a few sites and an e-bay store. Judging from the photos though, these aren't the kind of costumes that would cost hundreds. They're also not the kind to last more than one or two good performances, if that.

Oh, and he's not paying ME only $35/night... I know I'm in a small town, but the area can support a higher rate than that. That was what another girl is being paid somewhere else by an owner who makes fun of her behind her back for being so cheap.

LOL! only one or 2 performances, that's cracking me up. I am imagining a scenario. "We have some good news and soem bad news. The good news is that the dancer's costume was very modest! the bad news is that it wasn't sewn very well, and her dress disintegrated by the end of the show..."

tahiradancer · 10-18-2007, 11:37 AM

I am going to agree with turkish style vests. Or the other option is costumes with Choli style tops. Now that having been said, is his real objection the bedlah or the past problems with boob oze? do you have photos of yourself in costume which clearly shows that you are NOT overflowing? Or underflowing as the case may be?

{{{HUGS}}}

latriamou · 10-18-2007, 11:49 AM

you're welcome miriam. good luck.
as others have stated.. i would try to figure out if it's just the "girls" or if it's more than that.. just the "girls" would be taken care of easily with some sort of choli top. if it's other things, then a full dress may be the way to go.

tamrahennatx · 10-18-2007, 11:55 AM

You can also add stretch sequin trim to the top edge of bra cups you already own to add more coverage and reduce cleavage. The added advantage of this is that it can be easily removed later.

Combine that with body stockings or vests and the overall effect is that of less skin showing.

Once he gets to know you and trusts that you are not cheap and in-your-face, he may relax his rules. But you know, there's nothing wrong with a more conservative look, especially for a family restaurant!

ssipes · 10-18-2007, 12:04 PM

The problem is this guy probably has no idea what exactly it is he is opposed to. It might be as simple as just choosing bedlah that don't create loads of cleavage, and wearing sleeves/gauntlets or a U-top.

Those velvet beginner sets can also show cleavage and can look quite tacky if they aren't fitted properly and with a correct bra underneath. They also aren't very flattering on most people.

Sedonia

bintbeled · 10-18-2007, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ssipes

The problem is this guy probably has no idea what exactly it is he is opposed to. ...
Sedonia

Yeah, like the street festival my troupe danced at recently that had a "volume policy" for sound systems. "And please keep in mind that the volume
must be contained enough that vendors are able to hear their customers. We
do have a volume policy." So I asked what the maximum decibel level was, and the organizer didn't know -- "just not too loud." Luckily, my hubby is our sound guy and he always has a decibel meter with him, so we were fine.

I think it's the same with your restaurant guy -- he wants costuming that will keep his customers happy, but has no idea what that is.

Please keep us posted on what costuming you choose, and how it works.

Souzan · 10-18-2007, 12:50 PM

What about one of the LRose beledi dresses. You can get them with the deluxe trumpet skirt and wear a bra and belt set with it. That way your middle is covered too but you have all the flash of the sequins and beads. I have one in dark purple that looks fabulous with the Neckelmann's set in my profile picture.

Souzan

sabrinabellydancer · 10-18-2007, 01:38 PM

i totally agree with lotus.

on the other hand, this may be the perfect excuse to buy a fab. assuit dress...

ssipes · 10-18-2007, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bintbeled

So I asked what the maximum decibel level was, and the organizer didn't know -- "just not too loud."

I went to the Optometrist clinic to order some more contacts. The Optician pulled my chart and said oh sorry, you can't order contacts unless you have had an exam within the last year.

I said when was my last exam.

She said Oct. 10th 2006

I said today's the 4th; its less than a year.

She said yes, but its too close to a year. If you had come in last month (last month being 4 days ago) we could have ordered them.

I said, so the prescription is really just good for 11 months, not a year.

She says no, the prescription is good for a year, you just can't order contacts this close to the year mark.

kashmir · 10-18-2007, 04:01 PM

I've never been one for bare bellies - except is Hen's Parties - if it wasn't a body stocking it could be:

http://www.raqs.co.nz/gallery.html

(I don't suggest you use the Nubian for a restaurant gig though!)

miriamgamal · 10-18-2007, 08:49 PM

Thanks for all your input! I really appreciate it.

I definately planned on having a more "covered" look in general because of the families at the restaurant (and I don't feel comfortable in the really revealing costumes yet), so the policy isn't too big of a deal.

Sedonia ~ I really think that's the case... he's against something in the costuming, but he doesn't know exactly what. HE didn't seem to have an issue with the beledi dress on my cards (the one in my photo) which shows some cleavage, but definately nothing over-much, so I'm taking that as a good sign?

Of course, I still *need* to buy a wide variety of dresses and costumes over the next few months... you know, just to be sure. :-p

alcrea · 10-19-2007, 12:48 AM

That Red allure on Dahlal is gorgeous!

dunyah · 10-19-2007, 01:15 PM

If I were in your situation I think I would try inexpensive things like adding body stockings and shrugs or sleeves to existing costumes. Tamrahenna's idea about adding sequin trim to your bras is brilliant. That way you wouldn't have to spend a lot of money for a gig that may or may not pan out in the long run.

Of course, if you WANT an excuse to go shopping..... go for it.

luvnafctn · 10-25-2007, 12:37 PM

I'm currently working on a gwahazee coat-ish kinda thing that goes down to the hip. I'll be wearing it over a Madame X Fabulous Fishtail skirt. I got some inspiration at
Ghawazee Coats by Velvet Peacock Designs.
I purchased rhinestone clasps to go down the front of the coat, but placed them so that you can see just a little bit of skin down the middle. I'm also going to put hook & eye's around the bra straps and collar by the bra straps to make sure that everything stays where it should while I'm moving around.