Ageing and belly dance...can we talk? A spin off...

anala · 01-14-2008, 01:01 PM

I am 53 and have been dancing a scant 6 years now...the best thing I ever did for myself. I want to extend my public dancing years for as long as I can. I noticed that another thread had mentioned age and asked for dancers experiences with employability and ageing and it led to some interesting conversations amoung "older" dancers about how they are maintaining their dance lives as long as they can. So...can we talk?

jasani · 01-14-2008, 01:24 PM

Where's that thread? I started stage dancing (as a student) at 37. I will be 40 in two months, and while I know I won't be able to dance professionally I would still like to dance at haflas and the like. I've seen dancers who are in their 70's dance at haflas. I think it's cool!

Amaryllis · 01-14-2008, 01:26 PM

Even though I am in my 30's....I retired from restaurant gigs (lots of reasons - mainly I didn't want to put up with any more bullsh!%). I have noticed that when belly dancing is looked upon more as a cultural experience, it is better accepted, and hence, dancers - no matter their body type, age, or ethnicity - are more accepted and appreciated. Perhaps getting heavily involved with the local government and the community by dancing/performing at parades, cultural events, grand openings, etc.. will allow you to dance more and worry less about getting/keeping gigs in which you feel you are or may become discriminated upon. Every city - even the smaller ones usually have several key people within the city/county events/events calendar departments that are always looking for performers. Making these contact part of you contact listings and keeping touch with them is a great way of getting yourself out there. Doing so and getting more involved within the community(city) can actually lead to more private gigs.

I wish you nothing but the best.

anala · 01-14-2008, 01:40 PM

dancers of age and restaurant work

zot buffalo · 01-14-2008, 09:36 PM

Hey, I'm 53 too! when's your birthday? (mine's Sept 18). I started dancing about 3 years ago and it has become one of the big passions of my life. So often, I wish I had started earlier -- then I think that I probably wouldn't have had the self-confidence when I was younger. Still, every time I perform I wonder if I look a little (or more) ridiculous.... However, I have no real intention of stopping -- so I guess I don't care that much!

Taj · 01-14-2008, 10:37 PM

Well, I don't think there is a cut-off for our dance lives, unless you also want to make money performing. That's an entirely different discussion.

Tonight I taught a "taster" to my church women's group--several of whom are older than me (I just turned 50). They *loved* it. Being an older dancer gives other older women permission to try it out and let themselves get carried away. Be a role model. Good karma, yeah?

Keep movin', baby! is my motto. And this is a fun, absorbing way to do that. So much to learn! And leads to other healthy lifestyle modifications--like taking up weight training, in my case.

I expect to be dancing into my dotage, and beyond.

Zana · 01-14-2008, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taj

Being an older dancer gives other older women permission to try it out and let themselves get carried away.

Substitute "larger" for "older" and this reflects my experience exactly. They love it, and I love it!

There's a lot to be said for seeing someone "relatable" up there at the front of the room, taking the things about you that you might consider handicaps, like age or extra weight or a super-slim figure, and turning them into assets. (I'm not older, I'm seasoned! Overweight, maybe, but you should see my shimmies! Skinny, me? Nope, I'm getting down and snakey with my fine, lithe self!)

The only difficulty I find is that occasionally someone will suggest that an older teacher should be restricted to teaching classes for older students, a larger teacher can only be effective teaching the overweight, etc. I really resist the idea that we should limit ourselves in that way -- sounds like a recipe for ending up in our own little boxes with people who look and move exactly like us. How sterile and boring would that be?

(Sorry, still formulating a response that's actually on topic, but Taj's comment especially made me want to applaud.)

anala · 01-14-2008, 11:28 PM

march...comin up on 53..I say 53 now so it wont be as big a shock!

Lauren_ · 01-14-2008, 11:35 PM

I don't think there's any age limit on dancing within the community -- that's exactly what haflas and the like are for!!

Restaurant dancing, birthday parties, and other gigs where you're a 'paid entertainer' are pretty dependent on physically fitting into a particular mold. IMO that has nothing to do with the world of bellydance and everything to do with the world of professional entertainment. If you're an actor, or a chorus line dancer, or whatever, you have to deal with 'you're too old/fat/young/thin/short/tall/just don't fit the part' and so do we.

Within the bellydance 'world' though -- NO limits, in my opinion. We're here to encourage and support each other and dance for each other. I enjoy what every dancer has to say.

laura 2 · 01-15-2008, 01:59 AM

I agree with everything Lauren said. Big surprise.

I don't think your actual age matters as much as, like she said, if you can fit into the mold. I am lucky that I look much younger than I am, especially when I am all dolled up for dance. I'm almost 37 but most people who hire me seem to think I'm in my mid to late 20's. Because of this, I'm hoping I can keep the pro gigs going for another 10 years or so.

But haflas and community BD shows? You'll have to pry my zills out of my cold, dead hands.

lizajuk · 01-15-2008, 04:35 AM

[quote=laura 2;110313]I agree with everything Lauren said. Big surprise.

I don't think your actual age matters as much as, like she said, if you can fit into the mold. I am lucky that I look much younger than I am, especially when I am all dolled up for dance. I'm almost 37 but most people who hire me seem to think I'm in my mid to late 20's. Because of this, I'm hoping I can keep the pro gigs going for another 10 years or so.

But haflas and community bellydance shows? You'll have to pry my zills out of my cold, dead hands.[/QUOTE]

That's my girl. I am going to write a book..
The exploits of a geriatric belly dancer

sagira · 01-15-2008, 05:27 AM

I started dancing 3 -1/2 years ago I am now 59, I am totally addicted and I am happy to dance wherever and whenever LOL! My instructor is 47, and my class colleagues range in age from 32 to 61. We all love it and all dance well together, so far we dance as a group, not solo except our instructor of course (she has been dancing 15 yrs). We range in size from tiny to maybe what I would call rounded. I am a little over what I consider my ideal weight, but I think it is unlikely i will be that weight again, so I don't lose any sleep over it.

Would I dance solo in restuarants, at this point I would say no. I would be somewhat self conscious. I have danced with my class at haflas, womens wellbeing evenings, a birthday and we have our city yearly showtime at easter we will be dancing there. That is a very open and public venue. If you are comfortable dancing in public at whatever venue do so!

I wish I had found the courage to take up Belly dancing years ago, but i was very self conscious and just couldn't imagine myself doing it, even though I would have loved to. Now I think what the heck, this is who I am, you don't like it leave and let me be all I can be. I'll dance even if the world up and leaves LOL!

lizajuk · 01-15-2008, 07:45 AM

I am often so sorry I didn't find the dance 30 years before I did or even 20 would have done BUT had I found bellydance in the 1970s I am not sure I would have been as inspired by the people around at the time in the UK.
The "style" of belly dance in the 90s was right for me, I think and reinforced me as a creative and active woman at a time when I might have decided to settle for the TV, the couch and knitting needles.
I'd have liked to have got in there perhaps 5 or 6 years earlier as I know now there was some good teaching going on in my area.
Although I often condemn them, there are lots of good things about the Raks Sharki Soc. here in the UK. The discipline and structure and the assurance that you do NOT have to be Miss Glamour Puss to belly dance has always suited me.I had early workshops with Wendy B and loved them.
Of course the lack of joy in some of Soraya's accolites ( boy can they glower at you !) and the fact that I'll have a go at glamour at the appropriate time is the down side and might have sent me running.
I recently attended a workshop with a dancer of that era and boy am I glad we have moved on, I had a job to stay upright..in fact I didn't I fled the room before tedium settled in my ancient bones.
Oh these lucky young things starting off with the likes of Khaled Mahmoud and all the access to Egyptian and US teachers through festivals here in the UK.

Souzan · 01-15-2008, 11:41 AM

I am in the same age group as Lizajuk and Sagira. Dancing is a great elixir of youth. Many of my fellow dancers think I am quite a bit younger than I actually am.

While I do regret not starting when I was a lot younger, you can let that drag you down. I went through a period when I felt quite bitter that I was spending a lot of money going to workshops and buying costumes without any anticipation of ever making any income from dancing to offset the expense. But then I gave myself a good talking to and focused on the venues available to me--stage shows, haflas, galas, community events, and hopefully soon, teaching. Okay, no dance paychecks, no tips. But I do have a day job that pays well. And hopefully I will be in a position to teach soon so that some of my dance-related expenses will be offset.

I also show dogs, a very expensive hobby, for which never pays for itself unless one becomes a professional handler and spends life on the road driving from dogshow to dogshow. So I just added expensive hobby number two to my life!

Keeps me healthy, sane and out of trouble...most of the time!

Souzan

kina · 01-15-2008, 11:43 AM

[quote=lizajuk;110336]

Quote:

Originally Posted by laura 2

I agree with everything Lauren said. Big surprise.

I don't think your actual age matters as much as, like she said, if you can fit into the mold. I am lucky that I look much younger than I am, especially when I am all dolled up for dance. I'm almost 37 but most people who hire me seem to think I'm in my mid to late 20's. Because of this, I'm hoping I can keep the pro gigs going for another 10 years or so.

But haflas and community bellydance shows? You'll have to pry my zills out of my cold, dead hands.[/QUOTE]

That's my girl. I am going to write a book..
The exploits of a geriatric belly dancer

you're my hero. I want to be you when I grow up.

suzyq52 · 01-15-2008, 04:53 PM

I'm 55, soon to be 56, (March 20 - any birthday twins????), and I am enjoying bellydance. I started dancing four years ago and wish I had discovered it so much sooner in my life. I enjoy dancing at Galas, for the seniors, at the nursing homes, various functions and just wherever I can bring people some joy and have some fun myself. I think anyone at any age can dance - you just have to keep active and have fun!

rassicahl · 01-15-2008, 05:54 PM

I'm 54 and will continue to teach and perform until forever...I hope :) My students range in age from 15 to 65 and we have so much fun performing at nursing homes, for clubs, and most recently, in our town Christmas parade. We intend to keep on dancing!

lizajuk · 01-16-2008, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rassicahl

I'm 54 and will continue to teach and perform until forever...I hope :) My students range in age from 15 to 65 and we have so much fun performing at nursing homes, for clubs, and most recently, in our town Christmas parade. We intend to keep on dancing!

Snap( almost) my new intake ranges from 15 to 66...and theytwo on either end are grand daughter and grandma ..which made me go all gooey

ruta21030 · 01-16-2008, 02:01 PM

awesome thread, and very much in agreement

i started the other thread because i'm currently working as a professional....i started in my 20's but in '92 i moved to baltimore and didn't dance for 8-10 years or so cuz life literally got in the way, jobs, finances, etc........

now that i'm back, i'm seeing success i didn't see in my 20's and have flourished, but as i continue on the 'wrong' side of 40, i feel that public perception is stepping into chipping away at income, and at the fact success came so late in life....

i'm not allowing it to eat at my self-esteem, tho it is a kick in the ego, and i do teach.....and i'l ALWAYS do haflas and showcases.....

i'm trying to find other options to maintain a dance income if the gigs dry up, hence the other post...........but THIS thread rocks cuz it enforces what i already know about this fabulous form

aunt rocky once said at a workshop "this dance massages the insides, which is why most of us look so much younger"....boy do i concur! there is a lady here, Samara, who's over 80 and STILL dances like an angel! i'm 43 and was at a new years party, dolled up from a previous gig, hair curled in old hollywood coolness, and a gentleman i'm seeing paid an awesome complement that at that moment, i could pull off 25..........

yay us, and the younger ladies looking forward to the fountain of youth....all we have to do is take care of ourselves, our skin and keep dancing.......i've personally never felt better....even 20 years ago

and to you ladies in your 50's, i wanna be you when i grow up