Two issues with the profile set-up

[vilia]

1. The "friends" thing! There seem to be quite a few people who feel the same way. It feels very "high school", like a popularity contest. Now I'm feeling the pressure when I get on bhuz to acquire a special group of "friends"! It just adds to the clique-iness (is there such a word?) that bhuz has been criticized for in the past. When I get on bhuz, it's to discuss with everyone, not just a special group.

2. Clicking around and experimenting I discovered my icon was being left on people's profiles! OMG! Does that mean that when I have a geriatric moment and click on someone's profile several times in a session because I who they were, as I'm often prone to do, they're going to think I'm either insatiably nosey or have some sort of creepy fixation on them? And what about the lurkers that don't want to be noticed? Are we going to be checking "outing" them?

I've made my profile totally private because of these two reasons and that's so silly because what's it for but for people to look at? I really don't care who looks at my profile if I make it public!

[beafarhana]

Originally Posted by vilia

1. The "friends" thing! There seem to be quite a few people who feel the same way. It feels very "high school", like a popularity contest.

It is useful if you think of your friends page as your Contacts page. There are people I know from bhuz, who I would be PM-ing quite a lot (love that function!), and it's handy to have all of their details together.

Originally Posted by vilia

2. Clicking around and experimenting I discovered my icon was being left on people's profiles! OMG! Does that mean that when I have a geriatric moment and click on someone's profile several times in a session because I who they were, as I'm often prone to do, they're going to think I'm either insatiably nosey or have some sort of creepy fixation on them? And what about the lurkers that don't want to be noticed? Are we going to be checking "outing" them?

I've made my profile totally private because of these two reasons and that's so silly because what's it for but for people to look at? I really don't care who looks at my profile if I make it public!

Well that's just Paranoid! Nobody's paying that much attention, and if you're having enough senior moments to be worrying about that, then you have more serious problems to worry about than that!

And I put it on record here, that I am insatiably nosey, and I like looking at people's profiles. It helps me feel I can understand them better, and I can apply the right mental filters when I read their posts. For example, I was thrilled to read someone's profile yesterday, because she seemed, in terms of her experiences and interests, to be my Canadian Twin!

[kat]

Villa:

While I love looking at/reading profiles -- I fully agree with the "friends" bit.

[tamrahennatx]

The friends thing doesn't bother me. If someone else thinks I'm not as good as they are because I don't have as many online friends as they do, that's their problem.

[bul_bul_ksa]

I agree with Tamrahenna on the friends thing.

As for the profiles, I haven't thought any less of anyone that has clicked on my profile.

In fact, I'm loving the profiles and also the photo features...I think that people have been great sharing info and photos so that we get more of a feel for what they are like IRL. At this stage, I still have to write my profile.

[vilia]

I do have a friend who is a lurker. She prefers to be totally anonymous for reasons of her own, but is an experienced dancer who loves to look around on bhuz for info', including the profiles. She balked at the idea of her icon showing up.

[antimony]

She can go into her profile and set herself "invisible", then she won't show up anywhere.

[Lauren_]

Or just create a sham Bhuz identity with no identifying information. Or no Bhuz identity for that matter, do you have to be a member to lurk?

OTOH, why should someone be going on my profile to learn about me & yet keep their identity a secret? I think it's fine to anonymously read the boards, some people just don't feel any need to participate in the discussion. But why would a dancer need to secretly read other dancers' profiles?

[vilia]

Originally Posted by Lauren_

OTOH, why should someone be going on my profile to learn about me & yet keep their identity a secret? I think it's fine to anonymously read the boards, some people just don't feel any need to participate in the discussion. But why would a dancer need to secretly read other dancers' profiles?

Because she's curious/nosey. She likes looking at the costumes mainly, I think. But I don't think it's anything unusual or underhanded. Why does anybody check out another's profile? We're all interested in what others of the same interest have accomplished, especially if they're posting about something that may have some relevance to their particular area of expertise. As for her remaining anonymous, she's just that way. She's always tried to keep a low profile about her dancing, perhaps because of her upbringing. She's even attended beginner classes (she's pro' level) without mentioning her experience to the teacher, just because she wants the exercise.

[mish_mish]

I like to see who is peeping at me!

[tamrahennatx]

Originally Posted by mish_mish

I like to see who is peeping at me!

Exhibitionist!

[danidance]

It's sort of like having people pop in to visit without actually having to clean house first.

I'm enjoying people's profiles and seeing their faces - I think it makes a huge difference.

As far as friends - I'm neither here nor there with it. If it went away I wouldn't care but I also don't mind that it's there.

[Monica]

Feels homey in a weird way (the 'I looked at you' feature, that is).

The friends thing, not so much. But I just have not (and probably won't) explored that area, or made or answered any friend requests (not that anyone has asked...). :P

But I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong when I look at people's profiles! I did it all the time on 'old bhuz'. If someone said something interesting, was selling something interesting, sounded interesting, if I know them in real life and want to see what they are up to events -wise...whatever, I would just check them out.

I also won't put up anything in mine I don't realize is public.

M.

[mish_mish]

Originally Posted by tamrahennatx

Exhibitionist!

<puts on my jean paul gaultier cone bra and garter belts>

Who me?!

[Lauren_]

The friends feature doesn't really bother me, but I honestly *DO* think of all Bhuzzers as my friends. Y'know, in an online sort of way.

And yeah, I really am as simple & ingenuous as that makes me sound, on some level.

But I can't bring myself to mark people as my 'top friends.' What is that? Are we supposed to be creating tiers of rankings, cliques within cliques? There *are* a few Bhuzzers I e-mail with, or have met, and think of as 'real' friends. But what's the point of marking them as such? Maybe I just don't get it.

[artemisia_danst]

i agree, i dont mind the friends function, makes it easy to pm people and stuff. but i dont like the top friends thing, i'm not using it hence.

Originally Posted by Lauren_

The friends feature doesn't really bother me, but I honestly *DO* think of all Bhuzzers as my friends. Y'know, in an online sort of way.

And yeah, I really am as simple & ingenuous as that makes me sound, on some level.

But I can't bring myself to mark people as my 'top friends.' What is that? Are we supposed to be creating tiers of rankings, cliques within cliques? There *are* a few Bhuzzers I e-mail with, or have met, and think of as 'real' friends. But what's the point of marking them as such? Maybe I just don't get it.

[vilia]

Originally Posted by antimony

She can go into her profile and set herself "invisible", then she won't show up anywhere.

I didn't see that function, but I'll check that out! I guess I didn't make my profile inaccessible after all .... oh well !

[Lucinia]

Originally Posted by vilia

I do have a friend who is a lurker. She prefers to be totally anonymous for reasons of her own, but is an experienced dancer who loves to look around on bhuz for info', including the profiles. She balked at the idea of her icon showing up.

If her Icon showed up on my page I would not be thinking.... ooooooo there's a lurker!!! I would be more like..... Cool!

[Lucinia]

Originally Posted by Lauren_

Or just create a sham Bhuz identity with no identifying information. Or no Bhuz identity for that matter, do you have to be a member to lurk?

OTOH, why should someone be going on my profile to learn about me & yet keep their identity a secret? I think it's fine to anonymously read the boards, some people just don't feel any need to participate in the discussion. But why would a dancer need to secretly read other dancers' profiles?

Yea why? Cause thinking about it... That is the person I would be afraid of.
Then they are like actually stalking you and you don't know it.... Creepy

[Lauren_]

Originally Posted by Lauren_

But I can't bring myself to mark people as my 'top friends.' What is that? Are we supposed to be creating tiers of rankings, cliques within cliques? There *are* a few Bhuzzers I e-mail with, or have met, and think of as 'real' friends. But what's the point of marking them as such? Maybe I just don't get it.

OK, I get it now. AND I have marked a couple of people as 'top friends'

It puts them on the front page where I find out if I have any messages, etc. So if I want to send someone a message, there they are & I don't have to go to my friends page to look for them.

So I dunno 'bout 'top friends' but 'people I message with most' sure are handy there.

*eats words of previous message*

[vilia]

Well, I began a group so opened up my profile for viewing ... so I eat my words too!