Thread: I can't lose weight by myself - what should I do?

After struggling with my weight all throughout high school, I've come to the realization that I simply cannot lose weight on my own. I don't have the self-control necessary to 'just eat less' and 'just work out more.' Every time I have embarked on a diet/plan/program on my own I've failed due to lack of motivation/laziness/it somehow just doesn't happen. I also suffer from depression which is probably part of the reason why I'm having trouble losing weight on my own.

To put things in perspective, I am 5'4 and around 180lbs. Sizes fluctuate between stores but I hover between a 10 and a 14. My freshman year of high school I suffered from an eating disorder and weighed around 125lbs, which was the thinnest I've been since I actively started caring about my weight. That was a great weight for me, but obviously the circumstances surrounding it were not the best. My emotional health is much better now but obviously I have gained a lot of weight and it's really starting to take a toll on my confidence and self-esteem.

I'm a very active person, I'm involved in my high school's color guard and obviously I'm a bellydance student (I like to consider myself a highly motivated bellydance student.) I KNOW I eat quite a bit healthier than most teenagers - my mom is a vegetarian and we buy most of our food from an organic co-op. I just eat A LOT, and whenever I have the chance to eat junk food I kind of go overboard. I also honestly don't have time to work out every day - I go to school and work part time most evenings, so I usually have 1-2 hours of free time, part of which goes to homework.

I'm just trying to decide what would be the best option for me in terms of a weight-loss program. Weight Watchers? A personal trainer? I would really appreciate it if you all would share your experiences with different weight-loss programs and solutions, especially if you were/are in the same sort of situation as I am. I'm hopefully going to talk to someone about my depression soon, I feel like that's definitely part of the problem...

Thank you!

I highly recommend Weight Watchers. I first joined them when I was in my second or third year of college and was successful with them. This is after trying the grapefruit diet and my own doctor giving me "diet pills" when I was a teenager - these obviously didn't work. I started WW with another girl I knew from grade & high school...she is the one who suggested us going. I am surprised that I didn't think of that! She dropped out after about 2-3 months complaining about "not having time" when I happened to be going full-time and had a job (she didn't). I kept on going and lost all my weight with them and became Lifetime.

See if there is a friend who would like to go along with you although through the years, people who have come together don't necessarily continue together. If you are well motivated and want to do it, then you can go to the meetings on your own.

Oh and BTW, I wouldn't "advertise" trying to lose weight or going to WW or whatever you decide to do. Unfortunately, the people that "try to help you" sometimes can sabotage you as well. So, my two cents...keep it a secret. If people ask you if you have lost weight or on a diet (saying that one is on a "diet" is a sure way to fail - subconscious???), just matter-of-factly say it's a couple of pounds and shrug it off.

I wish you luck! And I need to kick myself in the behind to start losing some weight as well.,r:;

I'd suggest a heart to heart with your doctor, and your therapist. There could be some underlying physical issues, especially if you have meds to help with depression too. And it's not just about the food [all diets succeed in the short term, and none in the long term] - you do need to figure out why you are overweight [ie. if you eat too much, why? or if you eat well, but can't/don't exercise...why? Or do you sabotage yourself?? I'm not asking the questions, but your medical advisors should, or they should help you find the right advisors.

And every little step in the right direction, is just that. So have learned what didn't work...that's a help, so kudos to you.

I second talking to your doctor first. There may be some type of hormonal imbalance that is throwing any efforts off.

After that I would highly suggest reading and using "The Beck Diet Solution" to help you on the mental portions of it. I'm using it right now and it is really helping me. It's not a diet plan itself but you use it with whatever plan you decide on. Whether it's Weight Watchers, Atkins, counting calories or whatever.

If you want to check out any free web based programs, I'm on Sparkpeople and really like it. There's also plenty of "teams" there, including a Beck one, that support whatever program you decide on.

Almost everyone I've ever known in my life who has lost weight and kept it off for a number of years did it on Weight Watchers. (except for a few who did it totally on their own, but generally they were counting calories in a way that mimics Weight Watchers anyway).

Not that Weight Watchers works for everyone. You have to be really ready to take responsibilty, no one and nothing can do it for you or make it easy. It still takes commitment and willpower. Losing weight is tough -- I found it much harder than quitting smoking. But it'll never be easier than now. Six months from now, a year from now... waiting only means having more to lose and feeling more discouraged!

I was an exercise and wellness major in college. I was on weight watchers at the same time I was taking a senior-level class on nutrition and healthy eating. Everything we learned, including the very latest research on healthy weight loss, was already incorporated into the Weight Watchers plan in a way that was simple and easy to understand.

I've heard Spark People is helpful.
Free Diet Plans at SparkPeople

Originally Posted by BasiaRaks

Oh and BTW, I wouldn't "advertise" trying to lose weight or going to WW or whatever you decide to do. Unfortunately, the people that "try to help you" sometimes can sabotage you as well. So, my two cents...keep it a secret. If people ask you if you have lost weight or on a diet (saying that one is on a "diet" is a sure way to fail - subconscious???), just matter-of-factly say it's a couple of pounds and shrug it off.

I second this - keep it close to the vest. This way, if you fall off the wagon again, nobody knows but you. And just a tip that helps me - when I want a piece of chocolate, I don't tell myself I can't have it. Instead, I tell myself, later on. Then later on, I've forgotten that I wanted it.

It sounds like you're still in high school, right? Keep in mind that your metabolism is adjusting along with all of the other changes your adolescent body is going through. Its important to develop safe eating and exercise habits now, I agree with others that healthy weight loss that focuses on portion sizes & smart nutrition choices is one important step towards weight loss. Exercise is also important. Adding some extra cardio & strength training may help your metabolism deal with the extra calories you're eating.

I'm in agreement with those who've mentioned talking to your doctor first.

Also, workout buddies make life SO much easier.
I've lost 15 pounds in 4 months, but ONLY because I'm doing a program with my 2 best friends. Without them to push me, I'd be sitting my happy a$$ down on the couch with ice cream every night. :)

Best of luck to you!!!! Weight loss is tough, but you can do it! :)

Talk to your Dr,and your therapist. See if you can come at this on two levels. You'd be amazed how fast things can turn around when you are not only working on the physical level!

I also encourage a food journal. Not simply a list of food you are eating, but also what you are feeling when you eat and when you choose the food you are eating. This will allow you to look at any patterns you are developing.

And most of all, remember to love your body even as you make changes to it. And have fun!

Good luck!

{{{HUGS}}}

Mostly agree with all other postings though wish to add/expand. I recommend your *initial* purpose of the food journal is not to portion your food but to discover why you are eating what you are eating, i.e. the junk food. (After all, no one ever complains about how much broccoli they ate or how many peas were on their plate!) I believe part of my struggle with junk food is my childhood- we just didn't really have it in my house and when I would raid my piggy bank for change to buy packets of chips and dip and soda at the market across the street, I would have to hide it and covertly rid my room of the garbarge. It was such a 'bad' thing and for a goodygoody like me, it was my rebellion, all that sneaking about and such. When I moved onto my own, I really took to heart the teenage battle cry "when I get old enough I'll do whatever I want!!!!" - I was Junk Food Central. There were weekends when it was all I ate- I'd buy a box of crackers, block of cheese, stick of roni, bag of Jax, bag of Santitas, jar of Jalepeno Cheddar (aka crack) dip and a bag of Twizzlers- and that is what I ate for an entire weekend when I knew I would be alone the whole time. It's taken me the past year or so to figure some of this out (the WHY)and it's taken crazy changes in my food journey to be at a point where I (probably) won't eat an entire bag of junk, to be able to show restraint and perhaps most importantly: to find myself worthy of a healthy body. This, for me, was a huge realization and after a year of working with it, I can say this without crying. I can say it and I actually believe it.

I think it is your divine right to be healthy and happy in your body. I also think that talking with a doctor is good but it's been rare for me to find a doctor who was really willing to focus on what was really going on with me, which is why you talk to a therapist to?

I think that everyone is different and everyone needs to discover for themselves what the best plan for health and fitness is for them. For me it was when I met Amanda Moxley a Bikram Yoga teacher and Holistic Health Counselor in Salt Lake City, UT. With her guidance I was able to break down and analyze my cravings and I was able to create a meal plan by myself that worked for me. I was never hungry and I lost 30lbs of extra weight. She really is amazing, I will post her site here if anyone is interested her group plans are great and the sessions are done over the phone so you don't even have to live in Utah.

Holistic Health

I personally do Weight watchers! and I'm super happy about it, I've been doing it for 3 months now and I've lost about 22lbs, and aiming to lose 13lbs more.... For me it is working really well, BUT I have to go weekly for my weigh-in, otherwise I get side tracked a little bit and fall back in my old eating habits..

The advantage is that you can keep eating EVERYTHING, just not as much as we're used to... if you want more info about WW I am happy to answer all your questions...

It's kind of silly, I know. But I'm using an app for my iPod Touch. It was free, and it's called "Lose It." Basically, you put in some basic information about yourself (weight, height, sex, activity level, etc; how much you want to lose and how quickly- for instance, a pound per week, 1 1/2 pounds per week, etc) and it calculates how many calories you are allowed. Then you input everything you eat and drink (there's a database and it remembers the foods you eat and your meals, so it's SUPER fast to input- usually less than a minute) and also your exercise. It keeps track of calories consumed and burned (as well as other nutritional info that you specify- I track fiber) and tells you how much you've got left in that day. It tracks your proress weekly, daily, and saves all of it; and you can input your weight as it changes, and it adjusts accordingly. So far, I've been doing it for 4 weeks and have lost about 6 pounds- not huge, but steady and healthy.

The only issue I have about most 'diet' plans and centers is that they don't address any underlying issues about why we are holding on to the weight in the first place. I am dealing with issues of protecting myself. I gained 12 lbs in 2 weeks when I went to work with a crazy person who decided that I was a good target. Even now, 5 years and several jobs later, I still look over my shoulder.

If you don't resolve any emotional issues which underlie the behavior / weight, you will gain it back.

{{{HUGS}}}

Originally Posted by catysue

After struggling with my weight all throughout high school, I've come to the realization that I simply cannot lose weight on my own.

Thank you!

Losing weight is very very hard, and it gets harder the older you get. I did do a stint on the Carol Voderman Detox diet, and I lost a stone in 6 weeks. I didn't go hungry and I could eat all I wanted so long as it was within the boundaries of the diet.

Basically is it

No meat
No dairy
No Caffeine
No Alcohol
No Sugar
No Wheat
No refined or ready made meals or food.

Apart from those exclusions you eat what the hell you want. I stuffed my face on peanut butter on rye bread, honey, all the veg and fruit and nuts I could eat and still lost weight. My energy levels went through the roof.

Why didn't I stick to it. Coz I love a bacon butty and I'm a chocoholic. But I'm intending to restart it again in the New Year...along with my plan for World Peace.

Thanks so much, guys! :) Your responses have been so helpful.

I actually have the Lose It! app for my iPhone, and I was a Sparkpeople user for quite a white. I have problems with things where you enter in what food you ate and it gives you a calorie count, though, because a lot of the food I eat is homemade and not packaged or just a single item. It's really hard to get an accurate reading and just frustrates me.

It's really hard to get an accurate reading and just frustrates me.

That's actually great and it means you're on the right track (since it means that you are eating a lot of unprocessed food). Maybe get a food scale so you get a feeling for the portion sizes and you can enter it in that way?

Catysue, honey, I'm reading my autobiography!
My best wishes and prayers for you. I'm still on the roundabout, and despite all the best intentions and advice of friends and well-wishers, their success stories simply made me feel worse about myself for not being able to stay (become?) motivated. Remember, what works for some doesn't for others.

First things first - see your doctor about the depression. I can't stress this enough, especially if you've not spoken to anyone else about how you're feeling. Be aware that med's may actually make you gain a little weight, at least initially, but you certainly feel better about the situation, and this positive thinking is the first step toward controlling the weight.
Do try weight watchers and the other diets plans, or a personal trainer (if you can afford it) - they may work for you. They didn't for me. I've tried writing journals, seeing nutritionists, hypotherapists, personal trainers and every other specialist under the sun. What it's taken for me so far is a kick-start appetite-suppressant (closely monitored with my doctor, the same one who treated me for the depression) which has helped train my body into knowing what sized portions are really needed, and some really good information about what foods to put in my body in the first place.
Cut out all the processed sugars and saturated fats first up, but also be really wary with all the low-fat 'diet' foods (usually packed full of sugar). Most people are actually better off eating good fats (raw nuts, avocado's etc) than 'extra-skinny' yoghurt and the like. There are some good books and websites out there, but I had to find most of it out through first hand experience.
Obviously exercise is a necessity too, but if you're doing the bellydance and getting incidental exercise during the day (walking to/from school/work, using stairs instead of lifts etc), then you're already covering the basics.
Lastly, find an exercise buddy who appreciates your beauty as it is right now, but can also see the potential within you and will encourage you to make the right decisions!
Please also keep in mind other influencing factors - namely hormones (any form of hormonal contraception immediately packs the pounds on me) and somatotype (body type - genetically determined, impossible to change, only shape as best you can with diet and exercise). Find the right weight for you - the one where your face truly glows, not where it looks gaunt. If you're not born to be a waif, not only will you look terrible trying to do so, but it will seriously impact your health.

I still make mistakes, but I'm not quite as hard on myself as I used to be. At 5'4", I used to weigh just under 200lb at one stage, but am now down to 168lb (and still going, I hope, despite fluctuations!). Take heart, you'll find the right method for you!

Originally Posted by catysue

Thanks so much, guys! :) Your responses have been so helpful.

I actually have the Lose It! app for my iPhone, and I was a Sparkpeople user for quite a white. I have problems with things where you enter in what food you ate and it gives you a calorie count, though, because a lot of the food I eat is homemade and not packaged or just a single item. It's really hard to get an accurate reading and just frustrates me.

I hear you on the calorie count thing: frustrating! (And I did have some success with SP)

However, if you hate calorie counting, look into this:

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Eat-Clean-Diet-Fat-Loss-lasts-Forever/dp/1552100383/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264349731&sr=8-1]Amazon.com: The Eat-Clean Diet: Fast Fat-Loss that lasts Forever! (9781552100387): Tosca Reno: Books[/ame]


The main reason why I like this so much is that it teaches you how to eat in a way that keeps you satisfied and that doesn't require calorie counting. (The portion system is straight forward, but will take a little while to adjust to.) Also, combining foods properly will help a lot with appetite/portion control.

Short of that, I'd try exercising for at least 30 minutes every day (releases endorphins) and make sure you meet your daily requirement of water, protein, fiber and fruit/veggies. (will keep energy levels up, keep your digestive tract on track and keep you hydrated).

Weight loss is a *****... Lost 30 pounds, still got 25-30 more to go.

BTW, the Lose it app can used as a food journal, so you can look back at where you went food wise the week before and decide where to go next.

I don't have any personal advice since I'm not a dieter (just try to eat as healthy as possible and exercise regularly), but my daughter who is 27 is a five-year clean from meth survivor and gained a very large amount of weight during those five clean years. Last March she visited her sister who was following Atkins and started on that program. She's lost 50 pounds. I think the only real change was what she ate.

The sheer fact that you are seeking information about change makes me think you will succeed - if you want something bad enough, you can make it happen. best of luck!!

If you can't lose weight then you should do exercise regularly and should eat fruits and simple food like vegetables and fruits. These are best diet food and vegetables are low calories food which are good for weight lose. Try to drink lot of water in a day and drink fruit juice daily. These tips are best for you.