Thread: When women stop hating their bodies...

It's a book from the 90s. Have you read it? Here's some info: When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies

Let's talk about health and our bodies...and why we should love ourselves for the way we are. How does loving yourself affect your health goals?

The only ground rule is that you can't talk disparagingly about your body or others.

I'll go first. I work in public health and we are currently creating a brochure about healthy weight. Defining healthy weight is tricky, especially when our target audience sees weight differently than the mainstream culture. However we know obesity is a big problem, especially since it ups your risk of chronic diseases and other conditions.

So while doing research and talking to the community, I've decided to approach my weight as a health issue. As some of you know I suffer from some health issues that impact my life in a big way. I am working to solve those problems through changing my diet and lifestyle. I want to healthy for when I have children. I want my fatigue and other issues to go away. I just want to be me again.

I have to let go of the Diets and the weight obsession. I have to let go of using my body as an excuse to not be the dancer I want to live. So in short...It's about HEALTH for me. It's not about size.

Your turn...

I've always had an issue about my breast size and the fact that I was naturally underweight compared to a lot of people growing up. As I got older I filled out a little more and technically I'm considered to have a small hourglass figure, but I still don't see it. I still see a scrawny little figure with no chest but within the past two years I've felt like I've had a large tummy compared to the rest of my body. I'm a relatively healthy eater and I don't just dance for exercise. It's sad how we have to try to push ourselves to look like the big chested, small waisted, big booty chicas without an ounce of fat in their body aside from their breasts and butts.

I think that once everyone starts to realize how unhealthy societies mindset is, maybe we can change it. I find myself arguing with a lot of people who have been affected by these kinds of things because they are not "perfect" and it ticks me off because a majority of these people work their asses off to have nice bodies.

I really want to help change peoples mindsets. Some of the most attractive women I know are the most confidant ones, whether they're ultra thin or a bit heftier than others.

I once told another dance friend that I thought she had a beautiful figure, and I was jealous. I was astonished when she replied saying that she had always been very jealous of the fact that I'm rather tall (5'10"), particularly my long legs. (She was quite petite.)

I went home, looked in the mirror, and realized that my anxiety about my own body was misplaced. While I still agreed with the compliment I had given her, the compliment she gave me in return enabled me to see the positives about my own body. I remain grateful to her for that.

YES! I love your way of thinking, and I'm right with you! I've been through some "wars" through the past 5 years or so, so I need to be gentle with myself. I need to LOVE my body. I started Weight Watchers this week, and I'm trying to approach it as a "healthy lifestyle" rather than a diet. It's not all about losing weight . . . it's about being healthy for life! My body deserves this love and attention!

I did a similar thread recently on this very subject! I think we need to start seeing ourselves as beautiful:

http://www.bhuz.com/forum/belly-danc...beautiful.html

I am going to make a language suggestion here: Instead of saying "I have to. . ." try "I choose to. . ."

We are almost always harder on our selves then others are. If you can't take in the whole package, start with one thing. And it's okay to love the whole package but desire to improve it!

{{{HUGS}}}

I used to have very poor body image as a teenager. I had done martial arts since I was seven and used to have a really skinny and muscular body. Then I turned 13 and suddenly I had breasts, a butt, thighs and a stomach pouch all on top of the awesome muscles I had built. I felt very unattractive and hid myself under jeans and hoody sweatshirts for 5 years.

As corny as it sounds, I found belly dance in my freshman year of college and it changed my whole attitude on body image. I suddenly realized that I may have a bit more in the mid section than the other girls, but they sure as hell couldn't move it as I could. I have now embraced my "coveted" hour-glass figure, which before I didn't realize was considered attractive. As soon as I learned to love my body, others noticed my self-confidence and began to react to what I was projecting.

With my students (both in martial arts and belly dance), I try to encourage them to look at their bodies and really see them. Especially for young girls (12-15), there is so much out in the media that encourages them to be self-critical and want to be a "curvy" size 2. That does NOT exist! By having them look at the positives instead of the negatives, I hope that they will not have to suffer under baggy clothes to hide their gorgeous selves.

I like my body.

When I am happy with my body I tend to treat it better, feed it better food, and it doesn't add to the sort of stress that is likely to make feel the sort of stress that will general override healthy eating habits (there's a fairly good study that got featured on radio lab a while back about choices for food while stressed...which I think is slightly different from stress-triggered bad eating urges Radiolab: Why Is It So Hard To Do The Right Thing? : NPR )

When I like the body I am in I am more confident, happy, and more likely to treat myself in a manner that is good for my health and well being.

i used to not like my body at all. i was like a board and short at that. but the last few years my body has gotten very curvy and maintained a slim physique. its important to love ones body especially when dancing. i have made a vow this week to take care of it better, to go to the gym for strength, to work less, and etc. I might be small but i'm mightly lol! thats my slogan:) pettites are often not happy with their figures. we long to be taller. but you cant change your height so just embrace it and wear stuff that flatters.

when i see results from my exercise and diet i'm encouraged to keep at it. when it's not going well i tend to be lax about diet and the two are self feeding cycles, very frustrating.
i've always felt top heavy (not breasts, wide shoulders that others would kill for...... especially men.... i the 1980's ^_~), i'm watching Nadira Jamal's improv toolkit right now (i just got it and like to watch dvds before doing them so i have an idea of what to expect) and i'm SO jealous of her hips! i once commented that i wished my hips "looked like that" referring to my reflection while i was wearing PJ pants with the waist band rolled so that it added to my width, and my dad practically went thru the ceiling "YOU DON'T NEED MORE FAT ON YOUR HIPS!" (yheah, that's word for word) when i explained i didn't mean fat i just meant bigger, maybe wider illia, he rolled his eyes and choked down saying "ridiculous". to him women should look like little boys, probably because he thinks women are weak and bitchy freaks. (sorry, rant over)
i do need to keep my weight down for health reasons. by body is a bit overly sensitive, and if i'm even 10lbs overweight (by body fat percentage) my hormones get all wonkey.
im so happy to see something framing it as a health thing. i've seen so many people (dancers and non-dancers) who want to rebel against the unhealthy-for-90%-of-people stick figure standard that they go the opposite direction and end up just switching one set of health risks for another.
there's also a mental health component to weight, as far as self esteem and anxiety (and in my case even relationship strains between my dad and I, both of is seeing the other as being dysmorphic...sp?) when you're pursuing the thin standard people often end up with the "i'm never good enough" frame of mind, and in the opposite direction there is the social stigma surrounding how bigger people, especially women, are treated. it doesn't help that it's much more profitable for us to be insecure and we have to actively avoid media pushing that

I had a young girl say to me, "You are so brave to wear that costume. I could never wear something like that." I did tell her I got over how my body looked years ago. I just work with what I have. Bodystockings are my best friend.

Although, I have lost a huge amount of weight in the past year, with diet with help from a Nutritionist and exercise that includes dance and outdoor activities, I did it more for my health than for my image. You get use to it after awhile.

What great posts, BTW.

Originally Posted by LeonineLotus

It's sad how we have to try to push ourselves to look like the big chested, small waisted, big booty chicas without an ounce of fat in their body aside from their breasts and butts.

I don't know where you are from, but I'm from Miami and what used to be healthy ideas about what a woman should look like (among Latins) has devolved into this as well.

I think the typical American stereotype of "skinny" is actually easier to acheive that this--you just get skinny. But this? I know a lot of women with really curvy hips, big bottoms and a small waist--but a really big bottom and a no lower tummy fat, that's A LOT more unusual and very rare.

Originally Posted by UmEnis

I don't know where you are from, but I'm from Miami and what used to be healthy ideas about what a woman should look like (among Latins) has devolved into this as well.

I think the typical American stereotype of "skinny" is actually easier to acheive that this--you just get skinny. But this? I know a lot of women with really curvy hips, big bottoms and a small waist--but a really big bottom and a no lower tummy fat, that's A LOT more unusual and very rare.

Achievable only in comic books along with the appropriate gravitational field to hold the costume in place.

Originally Posted by BELLA_BELLA

Achievable only in comic books along with the appropriate gravitational field to hold the costume in place.

..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,
and matching lack-of-gravity to hold the boobs up!

Originally Posted by raqFariha

..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,
and matching lack-of-gravity to hold the boobs up!

For real. But that is what's going on down there. And plastic surgery is rampant. I used to think almost everyone had something done--teachers, secretaries, students, unemployed, lawyers, personal trainers, you name it--until I moved out of Miami and realized that nose or boob jobs or butt jobs were not something the average woman does. The average women sure does down there. And I know so many women that do look like they stepped out of comic book. Another side, I nearly fell out of my chair when I met women in our new town that had never had their nails done! Oh, so many women I know from back home get their nails done and a salon blow out out a week. Well, I actually do miss manicures and facials.

ETA: I just clicked on the link for the book in the OP. See, that seems so simple to me. I read it, and I thought, wow, how nice just to worry about loosing weight. That's easy. Try wanting to gain 15 pounds, and only have it go to the "right places". With no love handles, no sag, no lower belly, no saddlebags. All boobs, hips, and bottom. Or try loosing weight only from your waist and belly and expecting your boobs, hips, and bottom to stay the same. Again with no sag. Oh, and don't think you can just achieve sag-less-ness through weight training. Visibly "cut" or big muscles are a no-go as well back home. Too masculine. You have to look like a tight, toned 17 year old who doesn't work out.