Thread: Very negative buying experience with fellow bhuzzer--need some advise

I have been a member of bhuz for over two years and have sold, bought, and traded several costumes and never had any negative experiences. I have been a very honest member and always trusted everyone here. I am dealing with a very negative experience and would like some advise. I am not going to use names yet because I just want some feedback and suggestions first.

This dancer that I am referring to posted a costume with the wrong bra measurements and claiming that it was in 'great conditon'. I paid a significant amount of money, I could have bought a new Eman or used bella with it. When I received the costume I could not believe what I had just received. The skirt is so old and falling apart that there is not way it can be used for any event. The belt has beads, stones and fringe missing. There is significant amount of wear and dark spots in it. I first sent her a very nice email asking her if she could please refund me and I would be sending it back to her. She first encouraged me to 'just re post it and try to sell it to someone else for the same price, everyone does that anyways when they are not happy with what they get'. I told her I felt guilty doing such a thing, that I respected this community of dancers too much to do such thing. To make a long story short, we have gone back and forth for the last couple of days and she has finally sent me a very hostile email saying that she will not longer be answering any of my emails or requests. I am very upset and emotional over this. Can you ladies provide some advise?


Thank you.

Did you pay via Paypal? Can you open a dispute, if it's not as described?

Crap, I wish I could! The one time I was unhappy, I was offered a refund. There is a certain amount of risk in an online, private transaction. Perhaps you could post it for resale at a price that would justify the condition, and cut your losses. Many people will recognize the costume from the first posting, and that may be worth at least a bit of satisfaction.

I actually sent her the payment as a personal 'gift' (that's how much I trust bhuz dancers). I will do some research but I might not be able to open a case due to the nature of the payment.

Well I suppose you can try and file a complaint with paypal so at least this person is on record for doing dodgy deals. But making a personal gift payment, there is no recourse to open a dispute.

I'd be cutting my losses.

On man that stinks! Is it at all fixable? I'm sorry :-(
I once paid full price for a used costume with three previous owners, like a dumb butt...

If you paid on Paypal via credit card (as in a real credit card, not a debit card), it's possible that you can open a dispute directly with the credit card company. I did that once when I bought a DVD player online that didn't work. I returned it and they ended up removing the charges.

Go on the card issuer's website or call their customer service to find out how to open a dispute. Usually, if the price is greater than $50 and was purchased more than 50 miles from your home (or online), it's covered. Can't hurt to try!

Unfortunately things like this can happen. It happened to me once out of hundreds of good Bhuz transactions. My case was very similar to yours - what I finally ended up doing was giving away a very used and abused professional costume to another dancer who would never have been able to purchase one for herself. It turned very negative feelings into very positive happy ones.

I'd say call her out on it, in public.

Thank you everyone, those are all great suggestions. I am still going to try with paypal and see if there's anything I can do.

I believe the costume is worth less than half of what I paid for. If I ever wanted it to look descent I would have to get a brand new skirt and replace a lot of the beads, fringe and stones. I would also have to alter the bra since it is not the size posted. In other words, I would have to invest at least $100 to make it look descent. When I first got it from her I told her I needed it for a wedding which was this past Sunday. I ended up having to wear my older costumes because that costume is just not appropiate for any event. The whole situation caused a lot of stress on me this past weekend. I emailed her about this and her answer was that this is my personal life and that I needed to see this as a business transaction and nothing else, it happens all the time so live with it.

It is obvious to me that she was only interested in getting rid of an old costume and making some money. At one point she even offered for me to sell it back to her but she would determine the price, instead of giving me a refund. I found that to be a very unfair and odd offer.

Wow based on her response you definitely need to call her out in public.

Originally Posted by rjasso

I emailed her about this and her answer was that this is my personal life and that I needed to see this as a business transaction and nothing else, it happens all the time so live with it.

It is obvious to me that she was only interested in getting rid of an old costume and making some money. At one point she even offered for me to sell it back to her but she would determine the price, instead of giving me a refund. I found that to be a very unfair and odd offer.

.w.: WOW

I found that to be a very unfair and odd offer

To say the least. OK, time to go to the nuclear option and tell her this will become public in 24 hours unless an agreement can be reached.

By making that offer, she's admitting that she knows the costume isn't worth what she represented it as being worth. You might point that out to her if somehow she failed to realize it herself. I'm sorry you're going through this!

Originally Posted by KDizzle

Wow based on her response you definitely need to call her out in public.

AND post pics of the costume along with her original description of the costume from the swap thread, so people can judge for themselves that what you are saying is true.

Originally Posted by rjasso

It is obvious to me that she was only interested in getting rid of an old costume and making some money. At one point she even offered for me to sell it back to her but she would determine the price, instead of giving me a refund. I found that to be a very unfair and odd offer.

WHAT?!?!?! If she thinks it was a fair deal, then she should have no problem "buying it back" for the same price she charged you!! To offer any less is a blatant acknowledgement that she screwed you! ,m::

Post her name here, save us all from dealing with this shady character.

Ok, I think it is fair to all of you that I disclose her identity. I actually feel kind of guilty, I really did not want to have a conflict like this with any dancer but I did my best to communicate with her and resolve it in good terms. She goes by the name of Snowbelle on bhuz. I am wondering what other bhuzzers experiences have been with her.

I contacted paypal and explained the situation, they are telling me they wouldn't be very helpful because of the way I sent the payment. They did call her on the phone they have for her and according to the representative 'the female who answered the phone claims there's not such a person with that name'. Then I just got an email from her telling me she is very upset I have contacted paypal over this, she was planning to maybe refund me $100 but now that I have taken things to this extent she will not longer be willing to communicate at all.

rjasso, is her original thread still here? I would post pix of the costume with the problems (mismeasurement etc) and ask her in public to give you a complete refund.

So paypal called her, she said that there wasn't a person there by such a name....but obviously it was her if she knew you contacted paypal. Can you ask paypal if you can foreward them the e-mails between the two of you? I mean, you sent payment to that e-mail adress so they'll know thats her

i'm assuming this was the one you purchased?
http://www.bhuz.com/forum/bellydance...nk-flower.html

You should defintiely post pictures so we can see the damage so we know this is all true....so we dont wrongly boycot her!
She also is selling another costume...
http://www.bhuz.com/forum/bellydance...ced-400-a.html

Originally Posted by NajlaDance

i'm assuming this was the one you purchased?
http://www.bhuz.com/forum/bellydance...nk-flower.html

If so, that's a shame. What a gorgeous costume!!

Yes, that's the one but in real life is nothing compared to what I got. I am not sure how old the pics are . Also, she claims she is the original owner but I am not sure if the person on the pics is the same one on the website. I will post close up pics of what i actually got.

Sorry to hear it Rosalba :( Sounds like she's being immature about it. If she was planning on refunding you $100 before, she should be even more willing to now that she knows you're upset enough to contact paypal. Buying/selling is business: you don't treat your customers worse just because they hurt your feelings! And if she's so certain she can resell, why doesn't she just refund you and post it again? Too bad, looks like a cute costume!

ick! I had a similar dispute a while back with a Bhuzzer who lowered price on a costume, but neglected to say it was because she pulled apart the costume and "lost" the parts.... I did a "buy goods" transaction with Paypal and they still wouldn't help me out with a refund. I was stuck...and would never have bought the costume if I had known what she did to it even at a lower price!!!

Are we supposed to start requesting costume photos with the current newspaper in the photograph?!?

I have had a lot of great transactions, but one bad one really has made me lose trust in sellers I haven't worked with before.

This is a reason why I dont' buy costumes from sellers who use "previous threads" to advertise costumes unless I know for sure it was just sold, tried on and back into a box within a week and the seller is someone I trust. Otherwise, they could wear it 50 times in 2 months, damage it, and then use old or other sellers photos to resell it....grrr!!

Originally Posted by crystalllized

Are we supposed to start requesting costume photos with the current newspaper in the photograph?!?

What a fantastic idea!

Originally Posted by rjasso

she was planning to maybe refund me $100 but now that I have taken things to this extent she will not longer be willing to communicate at all.

I doubt that very much. She was already willing to deceive you with old photos of the costume so her word is not that trustworthy.

I'm currently having my first bad bhuz-seller experience, it really sucks bigtime!
But I still LOVE Bhuz and most members LOL.

Hopefully all will work out well Rosalba!

B

so sorry to hear that, i've bought from her before (about a year ago? maybe less?) and i never had an issue. hope this gets resolved

I just got an email from another bhuz member telling me she had a very similar experience with her where she bought a costume that was misrepresented and arrived in very bad condition. I am urging her to share it here since I think it would be beneficial to everyone.